The death of a loved one is a lifetime of dampness.
As she grew older, she gradually discovered that a new force had grown in the soft land of her heart.
Although we cannot avoid the pain and loneliness that comes with death, we can still gain strength and courage through nostalgia and remembrance of the deceased.
As a result, every nostalgia has become a spiritual dialogue between us and the deceased; And every memory has left traces of them in the world.
Gradually, in the process, we also learned how to say goodbye.
And with their love, they feel every warmth and beauty in life with their hearts, and go on bravely.
1
Learn to say goodbye and cherish what you love
When I was a child, I always felt that life and death seemed to be very far away, a certain moment in the future, and a certain end point in the distance, but in fact, it lurked in every moment of our lives.
Mai Mai has lived with her grandparents in the countryside since she was a child, and she still remembers her carefree childhood, always riding the mountain breeze, humming songs, and shuttling through the country roads.
The food cooked by grandpa can smell the aroma from ten miles away, and grandma will make a bowl of favorite milk soaked rice for her every night. Whenever she finished the game time after dinner, she fell asleep peacefully in the soft whispers of her grandparents.
However, such a day surrounded by love came to an abrupt end during the winter vacation of her senior year - her grandmother, who was seriously ill, left her forever.
To this day, Mai Mai often thinks about that happy time, as if her grandmother never left. And it was the love and care from her grandmother that gave Mai Mai a new understanding of life.
She knew that her grandmother had completed her life, and she still needed to continue to complete her own life journey.
Although in the long years after her grandmother's departure, she often fell into reflection: it would be nice to call her more when she was working, if she would spend more time with her grandmother during her holidays, and if she could buy more things that her grandmother liked at that time...... Otherwise, whenever she encounters joy or frustration, she can only hold her grandmother's relics and tell her from afar.
But perhaps, this is the lesson that death has taught us.
Instead of being busy and pursuing, ignoring the beauty in front of you. After experiencing the fragility and transience of life, I thought about examining the past.
It's better to cherish the present and don't let love become a regret.
2
Learn to say goodbye and live to die
Saying goodbye is a part of life and everyone needs to learn to face it.
Living to die is a deep understanding and cherishing of life. It is not only about the courage to face death, but also about the pursuit of life in the true sense.
In order to better feel his own presence, Xiaogang, a self-media blogger with millions of fans, held a special funeral for himself.
He designed his funeral theme as a farewell to the spaceship, inviting strangers to vent, shout, and confide all their hearts and dreams to him with impunity.
After he summed up his life, he lay down in the "coffin" (paper spaceship) and listened to strangers come to lay flowers, speeches, and mourn for him.
▲ The "coffin" in the shape of a spaceship
"I hope you have a good time in your next life!"
"Death is not a permanent goodbye, and we may meet again in another dimension."
"Goodbye old friend, if you meet my grandmother over there, remember to tell her for me that her stewed potatoes are delicious."
......
Listening to the sincere goodbyes outside, he couldn't help but cry like rain.
And after the funeral, Xiaogang's frustration, decadence, sadness and other emotions in his life seemed to be relieved in an instant.
What's more, he realized:
"In any case, we still have to look forward and think about the benefits of living, such as the sun tomorrow, such as the possibility of becoming rich tomorrow, such as making new friends."
▲ A stranger who attended the funeral of Xiaogang's classmates
Truly living towards death is not simply the pursuit of the continuation and existence of life, but the pursuit of what the heart truly desires with full devotion to life and dedication in a limited time.
Once we accept the inevitability of the passing, we can see more clearly what is really important in life.
Of course, you can be more courageous in choosing how to live.
3
Learn to say goodbye and accept yourself
In recent years, topics such as "chicken baby education", "repressive education" and "original family trauma" have emerged in an endless stream, and the movie "Youth Diary" focusing on this topic has also allowed children who have been in a repressive environment to see themselves in it.
The protagonist of the movie, Zheng Sir, whose elder brother committed suicide by jumping off a building when he was 10 years old due to repressive family education, so when Zheng Sir grew up to become a teacher and found an anonymous suicide note from a student, he desperately wanted to help this troubled classmate.
So, how can we help people who are troubled by such emotions?
The answer, perhaps, is the sentence he said when he was desperate to find the owner of the suicide note:
"Don't forget, someone cares about you, don't seal yourself, the haze will always pass."
A short sentence may seem simple and powerless, but even so, it may be an encouragement to countless students who have lowered their posture in the suppression of education, and may even illuminate many mediocre and hard-working losers.
▲ Stills from "Youth Diary".
Through this story, people can also re-examine and think in resonance -
"What is the meaning of life? Is life better to climb higher and run as fast as possible? ”
In fact, when you learn to slowly let go of struggles and obsessions, and no longer blindly cater to the image expected by the outside world, it is difficult to calmly accept the real and ordinary, accept change and impermanence, and accept loneliness and frustration.
Only in this way will we be calm and fearless and regain our state.
Even if you are frustrated, you can be willing to eat it.
We always see birth as the beginning of life, and death as the end of life.
But, perhaps, it is not the end.
If we can paint a warm color on life when we say goodbye, and connect with death with imagination full of longing and respect, we will be able to understand the meaning of death and the preciousness of life in the important subject of life and death.
So as to gain more courage to inspire, motivation to support, and the strength to start again.