What does a child look like by nature? There are 2 characteristics that you have encountered?

Cuckoo Mom

2024-05-10 20:41Posted in Hunan Parenting Creator

A friend of mine always complained to me that his son was a "white-eyed wolf" and that his temperament was too cold.

For example, if a large plate of shrimp is made at home, and my son likes to eat it, he just picks up the chopsticks and eats them all, regardless of whether his parents are still busy in the kitchen and don't serve them, and he doesn't even think about leaving a little for his parents.

The son always treats his parents with a "none of my business" attitude.

Even if his mother was burned, he just watched from the sidelines, and didn't think about looking for medicine or comforting a word or two.

My friend sighed and said that when this child grows up, I am afraid that I will not be close to them.

What is it like to be a child with a cold nature? There are 2 characteristics, I don't know if you've seen them?

One: 2 characteristics, children may be born "cool"

Children who are "cool" by nature generally have two characteristics

(1) Excessive selfishness

The child's excessive selfishness is usually to ignore the feelings and needs of the parents and think only of their own interests and comfort.

I met a 16-year-old high school student who came home and even though his parents greeted him warmly, he didn't show any expression and went straight into his room and closed the door.

When the family went to the supermarket, he never took the initiative to help carry things, and his parents carried the big and small bags, and he only cared about his own.

Mom complained for a word or two, and he said, I didn't buy it, you have to buy it yourself, why should I take it?

Sometimes his parents quarrel during meals, and he ignores them like an outsider, just burying his head in eating.

These behaviors make the parents feel very uncomfortable, and they feel that their son only cares about himself and rarely considers the feelings of his parents.

(2) Excessive indifference

In addition to selfishness, there is also a behavior, which is to be too indifferent.

One of my relatives' children, once his mother was sick and hospitalized, because he made an appointment with a friend to go out to play, he didn't even go to the hospital to see his mother in order not to miss the appointment.

Dad blamed him, and he retorted, "Aren't you there?" I can't help if I go, and besides, I'm not a doctor, so I can get better if I go. ”

Dad was so angry that he almost got started.

When faced with family responsibilities and affection, children may show a cold, selfish attitude.

Such an attitude may seem "rational", but it is actually evasion of the responsibility of establishing a deep emotional connection with the family.

Such a child may make parents feel sad and sad.

2: How do children who are cold and thin develop?

I often observe the daily interactions between parents and children around me, and find that the formation of children's personalities is related to the family atmosphere and parenting style.

The following common situations may raise "cool" children.

(1) Parents rarely take children when they are young

Many times, children have a cold personality because they lack the warmth and affection from their families in the process of growing up.

For example, parents are busy with work and are often away from home, and children spend most of their time with nannies or the elderly, lacking interaction and emotional communication with their parents.

In this case, the child may gradually become accustomed to facing problems and emotions alone, and it is difficult for him or her to form a deep emotional connection with others.

Like my neighbor's children, their parents are both working in other places, and they don't see each other a few times a year.

The child has lived with his grandparents since he was a child, although there is no shortage of materials, but without the company and guidance of his parents, he gradually becomes indifferent to interpersonal relationships and becomes a little indifferent.

Every time his parents came home, he treated him like a guest, polite but distant, lacking deep emotional exchange.

(2) The role model of parents

Children are likely to imitate these behaviors if the parents themselves show selfish or indifferent attitudes, such as often ignoring the feelings of others and focusing only on their own needs.

One of my cousins often argues with her husband, and the way to deal with problems is often to be cold and ignore the other party.

Their daughter has seen too many scenes like this, and naturally learned to deal with interpersonal relationships coldly.

My daughter rarely takes the initiative to communicate with her classmates at school, she always plays alone, and her classmates try to approach her, and she always responds with indifference.

(3) Dodging and overprotection

If parents spoil their children excessively, always meet all their children's needs, and do not let their children experience any frustrations and difficulties, children may develop the habit of thinking only about themselves.

This type of child may not know how to be considerate of others and how to cooperate in a group when socializing, because they have been taught to be the center since childhood, and they are used to everything around them revolving around them.

If the child has what he wants since he was a child, he does not do any housework at home, and the parents will immediately solve it for him when he encounters difficulties.

In this way, the child never knows how to cooperate with others and always thinks only about his own feelings and needs.

Therefore, if we want to cultivate warm and caring children, we should not ignore the emotional needs of children, and think that it is good to give enough material things but do not accompany them, so that children may not be close to their parents and the parent-child relationship is indifferent.

In addition, we can't spoil our children too much and take care of everything.

This will make the child feel that other people's efforts are taken for granted, and he does not need to give back emotionally. Over time, the child becomes selfish.

Have you ever encountered a child with a cold nature?

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