Text/Xia Mo
01, frontispiece
When we are in love, we walk into marriage hand in hand with our beloved, and we used to think that as long as we love each other, we can be together until we grow old.
I don't know when it started, love gradually faded away in the life of firewood, rice, oil and salt.
Two people who once loved each other did not want to be intimate anymore, and they seemed to have nothing to say to each other, and their marriage became a cage. But when he reached a certain age, he didn't want to divorce again, and he didn't want to start all over again, so he chose to settle.
After the age of forty, women begin to separate from men, and the following reasons are generally inseparable.
02. Mutually exclusive and unwilling to be close to each other
There is a reader who left a message in my background saying:
At the age of forty this year, she has separated from her husband, and she doesn't want to accommodate him anymore, nor does she want to sulk anymore.
At this age, the child is in high school and cannot be distracted.
Therefore, she chose to forbear and not divorce.
My husband and I used to be in a free relationship, but I don't know when it started, and when they talked to each other, they would attack each other and stab each other like hedgehogs.
Over time, they began to exclude each other, and no one wanted to get close to anyone else.
The Norwegian dramatist Ekkasen said: "An unfortunate love affair is when two people who love each other get married, but then find that they are not compatible with each other and cannot live happily together." ”
When a woman reaches the age of forty, she separates from a man, perhaps because the relationship between husband and wife has faded.
They don't manage each other well, and their marriage has long been dead in name. Between husband and wife, the relationship is indifferent, but not all women will choose divorce.
Many women are over forty years old and don't have the courage to start over.
So, he chose to bow to life, compromise with marriage, and choose to compromise.
03. For the sake of the children, they will keep a family
"It is much more difficult for a person to make a choice of divorce than to make a choice to get married," Kokubun said. ”
I've seen a video like this before, which says:
There was a woman in her forties who found out that her husband had betrayed her marriage, and her heart was in despair for a moment.
said that they would love each other for the rest of their lives, but the husband withdrew his heart halfway, and the marriage became an empty city.
Originally, she also thought about divorce, but when she thought of her two lovely children, she couldn't bear to divorce.
For the sake of the child, she chose to share a room with him. From then on, I no longer asked about his life, and I no longer had any expectations and illusions about him.
In front of the children, they are still a loving husband and wife, in fact, they have long been strangers.
If a woman doesn't love someone, she doesn't want to waste her energy and time on him.
After the age of forty, a woman and a man are separated, and a large part of the reason is because the man can no longer be her dependent.
However, as a mother, there is a responsibility to let her children live a stable life and do not want to divorce.
Therefore, although they have no feelings for each other, they are willing to choose the future, give their children a stable living environment, and a stable family.
04. Each has different living habits, for each other's health
Two people live together, have different values, and have different lifestyles.
When you are young, you are under a lot of financial pressure on each other, and you may be very tired every day, and you have no time to take care of the impact of each other's living habits on you.
However, as we get older, sleep becomes more and more important.
According to a survey, "70% of people in mainland China gradually suffer from sleep problems as they get older. ”
Couples' different lifestyles can have a serious impact on each other's lives, as well as on each other's health.
For example, some men will snore when they sleep, and the sound of thunder will make women not sleep well.
For example, some men are used to staying up late, while some women like to go to bed early.
Different living habits, different sleeping habits, will affect the relationship between husband and wife.
In their forties, women and men have separate rooms, perhaps because of different living habits, for each other's health, and for each other to sleep better.
05. Summary
The husband and wife have gone through many ups and downs with each other and have borne all kinds of challenges in this world together.
When you reach your forties, you must calm down and maintain your relationship with each other.
In life, it is a blessing to have someone you love by your side. Learn to cherish it, and this happiness can stay by your side for a long time.
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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the whole network, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotion, sexes, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.