Hello everyone, today I would like to tell you about "having a daughter at home".
I now find a problem: many families around me now want a daughter.
In the delivery room next door, the voice that can often be heard: Why not a girl? If only I had a daughter!
After experiencing the patriarchal era, we ushered in the "daughter era", and everyone felt that the daughter was intimate, much better than the worried son.
Having a daughter at home is a great joy in life, but 20 years later, we may find that the former "little princess" has grown up, and will the parents still be as happy as before?
This is really not necessarily, and a series of follow-up problems will also make many parents "pierce their hearts"!
Her smile is no longer just for us, and her company is no longer the whole of our lives...... All this makes us ask: With a daughter at home, are we really ready for the future?
The family has a daughter who is no longer "popular", and after 20 years, she may face 3 problems, one more heart-wrenching
Problem 1: The daughter is married far away, and the son-in-law is not sympathetic, and he is worried about his daughter's marriage
Nowadays, society is developing rapidly, and transportation is also very developed.
The so-called long-distance marriage has also become a very common thing.
Because many girls think that they will come back by driving a car or taking a car, they think that it is okay to marry far away before getting married!
But after getting married, although the transportation is very convenient, the time is not convenient.
After getting married, everything revolves around the family and children.
And what about the current situation of parents?
Once, our little padded jacket was always snuggled up to us, but now, she may have flown "thousands of miles away" and formed her own little family.
In the dead of night, we may think of her, of the home that was once full of laughter.
This kind of longing and concern makes our hearts feel like being gently scratched by a cat's paw, which is itchy and painful.
What's even more worrying is that if your son-in-law is not so caring, or even a little cold, how should your heart be placed?
My friend has only been married for 3 years, but her parents seem to be 10 years older.
This kind of "pain of distant marriage" is not only a distance barrier, but also an emotional "disconnection".
We are worried that our daughter will be wronged in a strange place and that her married life will not be happy. This kind of worry and anxiety may become an unavoidable "pain point" in our later life.
Question 2: My daughter is not around, and she has nothing to rely on
When the child was young, we expected her to excel.
Waiting for the child to be really good, he will also face a problem: there are always more opportunities outside than at home, and the daughter will start a family outside.
When a daughter finally has a family of her own, she may choose to live with her partner.
At this time, we may face the problem of "empty nest syndrome".
When our daughter leaves home, our home may become empty, as if we have lost our soul.
We may find that the furniture and furnishings that were once familiar now seem so strange and lonely.
The family that had been lively suddenly quieted down, leaving us alone in the empty room.
This sense of "loneliness and emptiness" may make us think deeply: Is the departure of our daughter a failure for us as parents?
How can we adjust our mindset to this new state of life?
This "pain point" may make us re-examine our relationship with our daughter, as well as our definition and expectations of family.
3. "Pension crisis": who will "support" our old age?
As we age, our physical and mental condition also ages.
As our closest person, our daughter's living status and financial ability will directly affect our later life.
If our daughter is unable to take on the responsibility of supporting the elderly for various reasons, how should we deal with this "pension crisis"?
This "pain point" can make us feel helpless and hopeless.
We begin to worry about whether our old age will be miserable, and we start to think about how to prepare more for our old age.
This "pain point" may make us re-examine our relationship with our daughter, as well as our definition and expectations of family.
Epilogue:
In the face of these three "pain points", we may feel lost and helpless.
However, as parents, we also need to learn to let go and trust.
Sometimes, it's not that the daughter is unfilial, but that life is compelling.
We need to believe that our daughter has grown up and that she has her own life and choices.
We need to learn to adjust our mentality and lifestyle to adapt to this new state of life.
As parents, we love our children.
But we also have to remember that before we become parents, we are also children, and we also need to look back at the pair of parents who love us!