When the famous American writer Ernest Hemingway was asked where he was inspired, his answer was only five words: "Unhappy childhood." ”
Misfortune seems to be a difficult problem that every literati can't avoid, or because of his unfortunate past, or because of the current turbulent situation, or because of the pain and suffering of wandering and having no future, the unfortunate life is like a perfume mixed with the smell of smoke and dust, a secret garden with twists and turns.
At this time, the words flowing under the literati's pen are the best way for them to sort out their thoughts, bid farewell to the past, and lick their wounds, as Mr. Lu Xun said: "Writing should express true feelings, not moaning without disease", for this point of view, in fact, I agree very much, because words are not only eye-catching text symbols, but also an important carrier of life destiny and emotional catharsis.
In China, a country with prosperous and brilliant writing, there is no shortage of dynasties with rich words and magnificent beauty, such as Sima Xiangru's "Phoenix Seeking Phoenix", Li Bai's "Long Dry Journey", or Du Fu's "Spring Hope", all of which are passionate and sincere, but most of them focus on the righteousness of the family and country, the love of children and daughters, and there are very few expressions of their own emotional excavation and shaping.
Therefore, in my opinion, the real literary and artistic period in China is not in ancient times, but in this beautiful Republic of China, a beautiful time when there was no lack of wind and snow despite the turbulence of the times, but it is precisely this kind of abuse and freedom that has caused batches of female literary youth to fall into the whirlpool of painful love.
Feudal child daughter-in-law, miserable heel
In the thirties and forties of the last century, with the collapse of the feudal system, the new trend of Western thought poured into China, and China's traditional thought and ethics were challenged and controversial like never before.
In this era, there are not only the births of literary masters such as Lu Xun, Hu Shi, and Cai Yuanpei, but also the awakening of the first batch of modern intellectual women in China such as Ding Ling, Zhang Ailing, and Lin Huiyin.
It can be said that in the troubled times, human life is like a mustard, knowledge, freedom and love are the imprint in the hearts of every young man, although he may be bruised and ruined, but he still chooses to dedicate his precious youth, lifelong love and tenderness to the love in their eyes, and the writer Bai Wei is one of the mourners of love.
In 1893, a girl named Huang Zhang was born in Dutou Xiuliu Village, Nanxiang, Xingning County, and she was the future Bai Wei.
In fact, compared with other female literary youths, Bai Wei's family is very ordinary, neither a bourgeois lady, nor a local socialite, her father Huang Hui is just a scholar born in the new era, participated in the League, and also joined the Xinhai Revolution.
But in fact, Huang Hui was born in a feudal dynasty and grew up in a feudal family, so feudal ideas have long been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.
But the daughter Huang Zhang is different, on the one hand, under the influence of her father and the general atmosphere, she was influenced by democratic ideas at a very young age, and she sprouted an anti-feudal consciousness, and understood that women in the new era and new ideas should pursue freedom, equality, and free love.
On the other hand, in the four years of the Republic of China, she was successfully admitted to the Provincial No. 3 Women's Normal School, where she received further education in new ideas and strengthened the consciousness of independent personality, so compared with her father, she was more conscious and open-minded.
But even so, Huang Chang still couldn't resist his stubborn father, and was forcibly sold to a local widow to be her son's child daughter-in-law, no matter how much she resisted.
On the one hand, she was always criticized and ridiculed by her mother-in-law, on the other hand, her heart was always attracted by the freedom of new ideas, so she tried to escape on a dark and windy night, but her mother-in-law noticed it, locked up in the black house, and even was bitten off her hamstrings and left disabled, in case she escaped again.
Huang Zhang, who had suffered a lot of humiliation, naturally did not want to be patient, so she wrote a letter to her father about her inhuman treatment and suffering in her mother-in-law's house, but the father thought that the daughter who married out was like water spilled, and returning to her parents' house would only make her lose face, and at the same time let her daughter fall into a reputation for not abiding by women's morals, so he refused his daughter's request for help, but told his daughter to continue to endure and obey her mother-in-law.
Her father's cold-bloodedness and ruthlessness made Huang Zhang feel cold, so she pinned all her remaining hopes on the school, hoping that the school could denounce her own experience and misfortune, but she didn't expect that the school's children were just old stubborn people dressed in new ideas, and insisted that Huang Zhang follow the way of women, not abandon her husband and mother-in-law, and abide by her duty.
In this way, Huang Zhang's heart of dependence on others was completely dead, and it also made her full of disgust for this hypocritical land, so Huang Zhang, who didn't want to continue to endure the torture and pain of this "arranged marriage", borrowed a sum of money from a friend in private, and took advantage of an opportunity to go out to buy and sell, and successfully boarded the ferry to Japan.
In order to say goodbye to the painful and dark past and unbearable self, Huang Zhang decided to define a new self and future under the pen name Bai Wei.
Constant precedent, three times cone
Later, during her 9 years in Japan, Bai Wei was poor and sick, in order to seek knowledge and survive, she worked as a domestic maid and a maid in a coffee shop, and finally successfully graduated from the Tokyo Ocha High Women's Normal through work-study.
During this time, she majored in biology, history, education, psychology, aesthetics, Buddhism, and philosophy, but later decided to "use literature as a weapon to dissect the darkness of feudal capitalism and at the same time confess the misery of the oppressed", and finally specialized in literature.
As it is written in the Book of Songs: "My Fair Lady, a gentleman." "A smart woman with a variety of talents will naturally be admired and pursued by a gentleman, and Yang Sao is a gentleman on Bai Wei's way to study.
In Japan after autumn, the fallen leaves sprinkled all over the corridor of the campus, Bai Wei wore a white dress and walked under the yellow leaves, such a beautiful scene was seen by Yang Sao who was reading poetry aloud, so he launched a crazy pursuit of Bai Wei, he showed Bai Wei and recited the love letter he wrote, told her his ambition and ideals to serve the country, and told her how much he loved her, and she was the soul mate in his heart.
Bai Wei is convinced of this, because she has already been hurt by an arranged marriage, and she desperately needs a sincere love to give her warmth.
But Yang Shao is no one, at that time he had already emerged in the literary world, and published many works: the script "Lost Chick", the poetry series "City of Memory" and "His Angel", the prose collection "Urgent" and "Last Night", the style of writing is light and ethereal and beautiful and nihilistic, so such a talented man is naturally accompanied by beautiful women, so from beginning to end, he just used Bai Wei as a chess piece in his spare tire, and never took out a little sincerity.
Later, he really abandoned Bai Wei in Japan unjustly, and quietly returned to China by himself. Faced with the sudden departure of her lover, Bai Wei was naturally heartbroken, and made countless illusions and self-comforts for this, and still missed Yang Sao in her heart, until she finished her studies in Japan, and then resolutely returned to China.
On the ferry back to China, Bai Wei looked at the vast sea, but she was still worried about the man who had no trace in her heart, hoping to meet him unexpectedly and accompany him for the rest of her life.
Heaven seemed to hear her heart's request, after returning to China, Bai Wei really met Yang Sao in Shanghai, this time she no longer suppressed her love for Yang Sao in her heart, and explained her pen name to him.
In order to retain this hard-won love, Bai Wei seemed very groveling and low, but she didn't expect that in the face of Bai Wei's sudden confession, Yang Sao actually agreed, and made an appointment to hold a wedding next to the Huangpu River.
But on the day of the wedding, Yang Sao did not come, leaving Bai Wei alone to wipe her tears on the bank of the rolling river.
But despite this, he still has no love for Yang Shao, as if once he is determined, he will depend on him for life and death. Until she and Yang Shao met again in Hangzhou, Yang Shao had a young and handsome girl next to her, but after Yang Sao saw her, she showed unexpected enthusiasm and tactfulness, as if she forgot the joy of a new love when she met an old friend.
At this time, Bai Wei really realized that Yang Shao had not touched any true feelings for any woman, and all his promises and sweet words were just small tricks to play with women.
So this time she didn't sink anymore, in the face of Yang Sao's shouting behind her, she didn't look back, but her tears flowed down.
Words in the past, lonely old age
After experiencing the torture of an arranged marriage and losing all the games of love, Bai Wei gave up the pursuit of the emotional world, and she attributed all her misfortunes and painful encounters to this dark and unfair society and era.
So she published her indignation and praise for independent women in the new era in some newspapers and periodicals, and finally met the great writer Lu Xun, who expressed great appreciation for Bai Wei's social suffering and feudal decay, and was even willing to publish her works to speak out for women in society and victims of arranged marriages.
As a result, Bai Wei's first theatrical work "Playing the Ghost Tower" was published in the journal "Rushing Stream" edited by Lu Xun, borrowing the tragic fate of the protagonist to indict the cruelty of feudal society and the darkness of the social system.
At the same time, Bai Wei created a father-daughter image in the play that is very similar to her own experience, exposing the hypocrisy and cold-bloodedness of feudal family affection, and using the ending that everyone in the play is not happy to end, showing her break and resistance to the dark era, and this sad ending is Bai Wei's questioning and whipping of the darkness of society.
Later, due to the vigorous promotion of her confidant and benefactor Lu Xun, Bai Wei successfully joined the "Left Alliance" headed by Lu Xun and became a famous fighter who whipped the society with a pen at that time; Later, during the outbreak of the Anti-Japanese War, he resolutely joined the creation and queue of Anti-Japanese War literature, expressing his patriotic enthusiasm and bravery.
Finally, in 1987, the 94-year-old literary warrior Bai Wei passed away, leaving behind countless popular literary epics, as well as her bumpy and uneventful love story.
Brief summary:
Bai Wei has been crazy about love all her life, and she only loves one person in her life, but she tries her best, but she is still just a shadow of the mirror, this kind of humility and persistence is indeed regrettable and distressing.
Some people say that she doesn't love Yang Sao, she loves freedom.
On the surface, she seems to be chasing Yang Shao, but in fact, what she is pursuing is the old age and freedom and equality that Yang Sao promised her.
In the long life, from a sad and bitter woman to a literary warrior, from bitter memories to lonely old age, this woman has used her 94-year life journey to witness the turbulence and impermanence of this era, and to witness this embarrassing but heartbreaking untrustable love.
Perhaps in the ruins of this desolate era, there is no rain or gravel, only a sky full of yellow leaves and a flower in the autumn wind, withering alone and passing away alone.