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When children are looking for a partner, the words and deeds of parents directly reflect the level and cognition of a family!
The level and cognition of a family determine the happiness of children's married life, and also determine the harmony of exchanges between in-laws!
Parents of high-level families will be very far-sighted in the face of their children's choice of mates, so they will not stare at the "little things" in front of them to show their majesty!
Low-level parents are short-sighted and cognitively limited, and they seem to be shrewd but actually do things that make themselves and their children passive!
Fundamentally, when children choose a mate, they are looking for a suitable partner for a small family and an independent individual. It is a process of "breaking through" the original family concepts and habits and accepting new habits and concepts.
If parents fail to recognize this fact, it will affect family relations and will also delay their children! In particular, some words, once spoken, will become irreversible disasters.
As soon as these disasters occur, it is likely that the children will have to bear the cause and effect of the entire rest of their lives painfully!
It's really important to be a parent, to improve your personal awareness, to be a high-level person!
When their children are looking for a partner, the high-level parents keep their mouths shut and don't say three words! The low-level ones come as soon as they open their mouths:
1: The matter of the bride price
Really high-level parents will only respect their children's decisions, and will not be too harsh and will not open their mouths!
However, low-level parents are completely different:
(1) If the low-level parents give birth to a son, they will not only keep the bride price to the minimum, but also hold the attitude of not taking the bride price!
(2) If the low-level parents give birth to a daughter, they must ask the man to give him the bride price, and he must also ask the RV to add his daughter's name!
In fact, as a parent, as a person who has been married to a couple, there are some positive experiences in helping young people's small families, and they can give appropriate suggestions.
However, some small-scale calculating words will only make the children suffer from cause and effect in the future!
Really high-level parents will not compete to win or lose in the matter of bride price, because high-level parents are concerned about the management of the rest of their children's marriage!
Parents with a long-term vision will not cause chaos to their children!
Think about it, how many young people have been "loving" for many years, but in the end, because of their parents' intervention in the bride price, they finally loved but didn't dare to love?
Don't say who coaxes, don't say who doesn't love enough, maybe it's because of love that they don't dare to enter into marriage with the person they love deeply! Because, in the face of each other's low-level parents, they don't want to embarrass the person they love deeply.
Therefore, I would rather lose than two people who are together for the last two to look at each other and be hostile!
2: Evaluate the other half of your child's words
Some parents always use the banner of "I'm your mom and dad to tell you the truth like this" to interfere with their children's marriage and love choices!
In fact, are all the "advice" of parents a valuable output?
It turns out that the "advice" of parents is often just a prejudice with colored glasses!
Really high-level parents will only pass on some possible hidden dangers to their children in a way that their children can accept when they are looking for a partner, and finally let their children bear the results of their own decisions!
However, low-level parents will not only use forcible coercion to force their children to obey, but also deny their children's other half more than once.
That's not all, low-level parents will also publicize their children's "disobedience" and the "flaws" of the object, whether it is relatives and friends, or in front of their children, those unbearable words, the fountain can't be stopped!
As a parent, you have to use the right way for your own good, and the important thing is to really bring benefits to your children!
When parents criticize their children for disobedience, listen to the real reasons why their children choose the object in front of them!
In many cases, as parents, they must admit that even if their children are not good, they are still a kind of compensation for the original family!
However, this object is an existence that can make up for some shortcomings in the hearts of children, so the children must be him/her!
3: If you bring it to the next generation
High-level parents will not nag about who and how to bring their children in the future when they are just looking for a partner, but will only use a normal mentality to face the growth of the next generation with the mentality of "when to respond with a reasonable approach to when and when to respond"!
Parents with low levels will first discuss the topic of who will bring their children, whether to give money or not, or to threaten not to bring (not to bring money)!
As soon as such words come out, it will only make the object who has not yet been united with his children disgusted and guilty!
Even, because of such words from low-level parents, the idea of ending the relationship will arise for the first time!
That's right, for young people, it's okay to bring your own children!
However, today's young people are really under great pressure, not having children is unfilial piety, not paying attention to social responsibility, and having children is trekking between raising children and surviving......
It's so hard!
At this time, as parents, it seems that it has become inevitable that people who have money to contribute money and no money to contribute, and it is by no means a phenomenon of being kidnapped by morality, which abounds!
Therefore, smart high-level parents know that helping their children is helping their children in their old age, and the money will be given to their children within a reasonable range, rather than only considering their own temporary enjoyment of being blocked, finding unhappiness in their old age, and making their children hold grudges!
Really, be a high-level parent, accumulate virtue for your children and accumulate kindness for yourself!
When children are looking for a partner, learning to keep their mouths shut appropriately is the "self-cultivation" that every parent should have.
Often, the happiness of children is really determined by the parents' mouth!
Negative emotions are common to all, and when you are willing to put them aside, you can not be bound by them. Ultimately, it's up to you to do that!
I'm a high-quality affective writer who has provided valuable and meaningful help to many counselors. I have rich experience in marriage, relationships, interpersonal relationships, etc., if you have any emotional confusion, please feel free to consult me.
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Topic discussion: What do you think is the right way for parents and children to find a partner? Welcome to leave a message to interact.