1
Received a letter from a reader that reads as follows:
My name is Xiaowei, I am 32 years old and have been divorced for 4 years.
My divorce from my ex-husband was purely emotionally discordant, but fortunately I didn't have children, and the divorce was simply refreshing.
After the divorce, in order to get out of the familiar environment, I went to the provincial capital to work.
It was also here that I met Lao Li. Lao Li is 40 years old this year and is the head of my department. He is very honest and looks down-to-earth and reliable.
And he, like me, is also working outside the home, and his wife is taking care of the children in his hometown.
I really developed feelings for Lao Li when I had an illness in the spring of the previous year and was hospitalized for several days with a fever.
It was Lao Li who found out that I didn't go to the unit, no one answered the phone, and he was afraid that something would happen to me, so he found the place I rented and asked the landlord to open the door.
Only then did I find out that I was burned out.
During the days when I was hospitalized, Lao Li was taking care of me.
That's why I developed feelings for him.
Lao Li also confessed to me that he and his wife have a bad relationship, and they are making do with their children, so he rarely goes home.
However, he was afraid that he would not be able to give me a future.
I said, I just want to be with him.
Later, on my initiative, after two months, we moved in together. Of course, Lao Li went to the place I rented.
2
After being together for a long time, I found that Lao Li is a good man.
He himself lives very frugally, but he is very generous to me, and he is reluctant to eat, so he will buy it for me.
Most importantly, he does all the housework. Plus, he's good at saying nice things and can provide me with emotional value.
I think I've really found a treasure.
It's just that Lao Li has a family after all. At first, I didn't care, but after a long time, I just wanted a result.
I pestered Lao Li and asked, when will he marry me?
He said that when his son finished the college entrance examination, he would divorce.
I waited hopefully, seeing that his son was going to take the college entrance examination next month, but Lao Li began to avoid me.
I didn't know what I did wrong, so I asked him, and he said that the child was going to take the college entrance examination, and he was also worried, so let him be quiet.
In the past, he went to my place, but he hasn't been there recently. Every time he rested, he drove back to his hometown.
I was a little panicked and a little scared.
Last month, I specially asked Lao Li if he married me, and it didn't count.
He hesitated for a moment before saying, of course.
However, I think he is very reluctant.
3
Unexpectedly, during the May Day holiday, I saw a photo of him and his wife holding hands and walking with their son in his circle of friends.
Their family is so harmonious, and I am a joke in comparison.
The most important thing is that Lao Li's wife is very beautiful, and I feel ashamed of myself compared to her.
Last night, Lao Li came back, and I asked him, didn't he say that he wanted a divorce? Why are you still holding hands with your wife?
After all, the most important thing is for a child's college entrance examination.
After saying that, he swiped his phone again, and he didn't want to coax me anymore. I lost my temper, and he didn't coax me, but went back to his place angrily.
And I'm getting more and more uncertain about our future.
Taotao, I want you to help me analyze, is it true that Lao Li said that he would marry me?
4
桃桃回复:
Obviously, when Lao Li agreed to divorce and marry you, you pestered him so much that he had no choice, he could only promise you a future first.
At that time, he was not tired of you and didn't want to lose you, so he gave you a time to stabilize you.
That way, you won't have any more trouble with him.
Of course, at that time, he may not be very satisfied with his marriage, and you came just right. He also wanted to give himself a little buffer time.
Now, seeing it, the time he promised is getting closer and closer.
The more you are scared and try to hold on to him, the more he wants to run away.
This fully shows that in the first place, he didn't plan to marry you at all. What's more, his own wife is not bad, but at that time, the two of them were in a period of slack marriage.
Now whether it is for the sake of the son or not, it is obvious that the marriage of the two has warmed up.
And in the estimated time, the marriage is not over, and Lao Li must also make a choice.
You are the one he is to forsake.
The reason why you wrote to ask is just to confirm your answer.
Actually, you get the idea.
If a man really wants to be with you, whether it's because of your ability or because you happen to be the one he loves, he will definitely plan your life in advance.
Even if you don't get divorced, he will think long for you.
Obviously, Lao Li didn't.
Now, he's avoiding you. You don't have a future.
So, instead of being hysterical, let's let it go and leave you a little decency.
After all, at the beginning, you knew his marital status, and you chose a moth to fight the fire. It's not anyone else's fault.
You're only 32 years old, such a wonderful age, go out and have a look, there are a lot of excellent single guys out there, waiting for you to choose.
Why bother, hang yourself from an old tree.
One more thing, you think it's good that you're like this now. If Lao Li really divorces and marries you, life is very real, don't you need to think about having children, as well as Lao Li's own children, houses, and so on?
If he doesn't want to marry you that much.
A small problem in reality is enough to crush you, and at that time, you will tear up even more embarrassed.
I want to say that to let him go is to let go of yourself. What's more, it's still a man whose heart is not in you.
In the past, Lao Li's low-cost kindness to you was something that many men could do.
So, leave him and go find your own forest.
What do you think of Xiaowei's question?