An old man who is over half a hundred years old often regrets the past, this is the new state of a man who is old, Huang Jianjiang is such a person. Huang Jianjiang's remorse has been traced back to the ignorance of his infancy: "Why were you so ignorant when you were a child? Why did you stare intently at a place......
The year that Huang Jianjiang regretted should be 1963, he was born on the edge of the famous Taklamakan Desert. Huang Jianjiang's birthplace is not unfamous, which is much more famous than a small village called Huangzhuang in Zhumadian, Henan Province, the birthplace of his father Huang Shiyun. It stands to reason that Huang Jianjiang should not regret it, but Huang Jianjiang, who is less than one year old, was once thrown alone in a nest on the edge of the desert, and everyone will have hatred in this matter. In this way, it is not only remorse, but also resentment and resentment. Remorse is hatred of oneself, and resentment is hatred of one's loved ones.
The so-called underground nest is to dig a pit in the Gobi Desert, open the door on one side, and level out a ramp for daily entry and exit. The top is covered with red willow branches and sealed with soil. The nest is like a basement, and the four walls cannot be opened, leaving only one skylight. Xiao Huang Jianjiang, who was less than one year old, lay on the bed in the nest of the ground, and slept for a day. During this long day, no one cares whether you are hungry or peeing. My father and mother went to work before dawn, and they returned when it was dark, wearing the stars and the moon. In addition to enduring hunger and rolling his own and urine, the most important thing is loneliness and darkness. Xiao Huang Jianjiang stared at the skylight of the nest in the ground, staring intently, yearning for the only light in extreme fear. After a long time, Huang Jianjiang's eyes squinted and became a squint. When Xiao Huang Jianjiang will leave, and he can get out of the nest alone, the squinting eyes can no longer be corrected.
However, Huang Jianjiang's parents were the first generation of Xinjiang Corps members, and their task at that time was to clear the wasteland and ask for grain from the desert, so they had no time to take care of their children. Xiao Huang Jianjiang was lying alone in the ground, crying like the wind in the wasteland. Huang Jianjiang, like most babies, cries loudly and willfully, but the cry is underground, as if in another world. The cry was completely confiscated by the earth, and it was really undesirable to cry and cry to the ground.
In Huang Jianjiang's small era, he could only spend his time alone in the underground nest, fending for himself. It would be nice if he could persist and survive without dying. Fortunately, his cry was not loud enough, otherwise he would probably have attracted the wolf. It was not uncommon for the children of the Corps to be taken away by wolves in the dens of the ground, but Huang Jianjiang was lucky not to be taken away by wolves, but his eyes were slanted.
Later, people gave children who became squinted eyes in their nests a common nickname: little squint. It can be seen that Huang Jianjiang is not the only child with this kind of squint, there are a number of them. It's just that after Huang Jianjiang's slanted eyes grew up, he did a lot of evil things, and some people nicknamed him Huang Laoxian. According to the Xinjiang dialect: "The little squint grows up, and when he walks out of the nest, Huang Laoxian's cowardice is born." ”
The year Huang Jianjiang was born was very special for China, and it was a year of waste waiting to be rebuilt. The period from the second half of 1959 to the first half of 1962 was a period of so-called three years of hardship in China. Huang Jianjiang's father, Huang Shiyun, wandered all the way from his hometown Zhumadian to Xinjiang, nothing else, but he heard that there are many places in Xinjiang and the corps is short of people, so he will not die of hunger if he goes. Huang Shiyun took advantage of the critical moment when the militia platoon commander standing guard at the entrance of the village was starving and fainting, broke through the blockade line, left the village, and embarked on the long road west to Xinjiang. It should be said that Huang Shiyun's luck was good, he arrived in Xinjiang just in time for Premier Zhou Enlai to issue instructions to the Xinjiang Corps, asking the Xinjiang Corps to accept people who entered Xinjiang to "seek food from themselves". The so-called artesian food seekers are, to put it bluntly, "blind streams". According to historical records, the Xinjiang Corps took in more than 210,000 artesian people before and after, thus greatly increasing the population of the Xinjiang Corps.
Huang Shiyun got a new life after becoming a member of the Corps, and as long as he entered the Corps, he not only had food to eat, but also political treatment, and he was regarded as a young man who automatically supported the border. The most important thing is that Huang Shiyun met Li Yimei, who entered Xinjiang from Sichuan. The two are also self-employed food seekers, like-minded, and thus become husband and wife. There is no reason not to work hard if you have food, in addition to throwing off their arms in the wasteland, they are not idle in the nest, so in 1963, Huang Jianjiang was born in the nest.
Huang Jianjiang is a second-generation member of the Corps, known as Xinjiang's "Bai Kan". It means that there is nothing, one is poor and two white, no one even listens to what is spoken, and what is said is in vain, belonging to the generation that was sacrificed. Doesn't the people of the Xinjiang Corps have a slogan, called: "I dedicate my youth to the frontier, and I dedicate my youth to my children and grandchildren." As a generation that was sacrificed, Huang Jianjiang's heart was full of resentment, disobedience and anger. He always made astonishing remarks on crowded occasions, saying, "Why should you give us away? Huang Jianjiang first said this when he graduated from high school. It was still the 80s, and Huang Jianjiang was facing the college entrance examination. The school held a mobilization meeting for the college entrance examination, and Huang Jianjiang, who had good grades, came to the stage to express his determination, but he didn't expect him to say these words: "If we don't want to be sacrificed by our parents as lambs and become a sacrifice of the times, we must be admitted to the university and look for our own water and soil in the mouth (the mainland)." In the end, Huang Jianjiang said affectionately, "My side of the water and soil is in Sichuan, which is my mother's hometown, and it is a beautiful place by the Jialing River, and it is the distant water in my heart." ”
The beautiful place that Huang Jianjiang said back then was Southwest Agricultural University, in Chongqing. Perhaps because Huang Jianjiang grew up in Xinjiang and was accustomed to seeing land, orchards, cattle and sheep, Huang Jianjiang was bent on learning agricultural technology. Agricultural technicians in the Corps are the most popular, and they can be dragged away. Why did Huang Jianjiang identify Southwest Agricultural University, because his mother Li Qimei took Huang Jianjiang back to Sichuan when she visited relatives, and a distant relative was a teacher at Southwest Agricultural University.
It was a summer vacation after Huang Jianjiang went to high school, Li Qimei watched her squinted son be naughty, fighting at school, and not studying well, it was not a matter to go on like this, and when she visited relatives, she took Huang Jianjiang back to her hometown in Sichuan, wanting him to open his eyes. Huang Jianjiang and his mother took a week's train, and the train climbed in the Hexi Corridor for more than two days, and there was nothing to attract Huang Jianjiang except the Gobi Desert. However, when the train crossed the Qinling Mountains and entered Sichuan, Huang Jianjiang was shocked by the beautiful Sichuan Basin, which turned out that the world was not only the desert and the Gobi, but also the green waters and green mountains. Huang Jianjiang also went to Southwest Agricultural University and toured the campus. Huang Jianjiang saw the different lives of his peers, which touched him a lot.
When Huang Jianjiang returned to the oasis called "Yiwan Spring" on the edge of the desert again, he almost changed into a different person. Huang Jianjiang's academic performance went up and ranked among the top three in the class, so the teacher asked Huang Jianjiang to speak at the school's college entrance examination mobilization meeting. The teacher didn't expect Huang Jianjiang to say that. At that time, Huang Jianjiang's words resonated with the students and won applause. Who wants to be sacrificed? It's just that the headmaster is awkward to hear this. The principal is a "soldier generation", and he cannot tolerate being challenged by the new generation. What Huang Jianjiang challenged was the bold words of an entire generation of Corps members: "I dedicated my youth to the frontier, and I dedicated my youth to my children and grandchildren." The second generation of soldiers is equivalent to replying, saying: "You don't want to sacrifice your children and grandchildren, and I am the master of my youth." ”
After Huang Jianjiang's speech, the principal immediately took the stage to disinfect Huang Jianjiang's remarks, and even went online. The principal's criticism of Huang Jianjiang was evil and crooked, and it was very reactionary. In the end, the excited principal did not hesitate to personally attack Huang Jianjiang, saying that Huang Jianjiang was not only slanted in his eyes, but also had a bad mind, and how could such a student be admitted to the university? That was simply wishful thinking. The president changed his tone and said, "Even if you are admitted to a university, what will it be?" If this is the case, the Corps will have no successors in the future. At that time, who will reclaim the frontier and defend the frontier, who will build and defend the frontier. In the end, the principal said: "What else is your name Huang Jianjiang, I don't understand the profound meaning of your father's name at all, I don't deserve to be called Huang Jianjiang, I think you should be called Huang Laoxie." ”
In the laughter of his classmates, the nickname Huang Laoxian was called.
2
Huang Laoxian is my eldest brother, and when the principal criticizes him at the school assembly, I stand not far from him. I was in junior high school and he was in high school. The principal criticized him like this at the school assembly, and as a younger brother, I felt sorry for him, but I found that he didn't care at all, squinted at the principal on the stage, and viciously trampled an ant to death with one foot.
Huang Laoxian, this bastard, has never looked at me with a straight eye since he was a child. I may be a little unkind to say this, because he is narrow-eyed and can't see people in the right eye. He wants to look at people unless he leans over, but he doesn't have to look at me from the heart, so I never call him brother, or even Huang Jianjiang, I call him Huang Laoxian. His name is Huang Jianjiang, my name is Huang Jianxin, and I have two younger brothers. The third is called Huang Jianguo, and the fourth is called Huang Jianzhong. My father, Huang Shiyun, was a man with ideals, and he made our names bigger and bigger, and the names of our four brothers were linked together: "Building China's Xinjiang".
My brother Huang Lao has a physical defect and slanted eyes. His physical defects are not congenital, and for this reason, Huang Lao complained. He had a lot of grievances, but who did he complain about? At first, he complained about our father, thinking that my father and mother were not responsible for him, and gave birth to him on the Gobi Desert, where birds did not lay eggs, and he didn't care if he was born, and threw him into a nest in the ground, becoming a squint, and harming him for the rest of his life. I was much luckier than him, I was three years younger, and although it was only three years, the Corps grew rapidly. By the time I was born, the Corps people were able to live in real houses. The young people from the Shanghai branch also came, and the company had a kindergarten and a primary school. Our kindergarten aunts and primary school teachers are all young people from Shanghai, which allows us to receive the same preschool education as in Shanghai. What's more, we will never lie alone in the ground looking at the skylight again, so my eyes are not slanted. For this reason, Huang Laoxian regarded me as an outlier when he was a child, and felt that if my eyes were not slanted, he was not worthy of being his younger brother, so he bullied me in different ways and even tortured me, which was resolutely resisted by me. I always go out of my way to go home and complain. My parents seem to believe in me very much, especially my mother, Li Yimei, who always listens and believes in me. As long as I go home and complain, saying that Huang Laoxian has done something bad again, Li Qimei will beat Huang Laoxian. When he was beaten, he rolled me with squinted eyes, and I knew that on the way out of school, I had to be careful not to let him touch me, otherwise I would definitely be beaten.
In this way, Huang Laoxian and I spent our teenage years in battle.
For the military reclamation company on the edge of the desert, a bowl of spring should be regarded as a good place. Yiwanquan is the location of the 38th Company of the 1st Division and 1st Regiment of the Corps. A bowl of springs is located between a desert and an oasis, which is an accident. Back then, it was the old company commander Ma Gava who found a bowl of spring. He was preparing with a large army to cross Taklamakan on foot to Khotan to suppress bandits. Magava was still a large soldier at the time, in the vanguard platoon, but he fell ill and fell behind before he could enter the Taklamakan army. The commander of the troops said that there is no enemy here, so you should stay and rest on the spot, and then pursue the troops when the time is right. The implication of the commander of the unit was: "You can survive on the spot, and whether you can catch up with the troops in the future depends on your own creation." ”
Ma Gava and a few wounded and sick can only stay, this is a choice in desperation, in fact, it is to fend for themselves. When he learned that the army had gone away, looking at the rolling desert in front of him and the vast wasteland behind him, Ma Gava broke out in a cold sweat. This environment is stronger than any enemy, and the biggest enemy is the lack of water. In addition to the dry rations and water they had brought with them, the troops left them only half a bag of grain, which was actually horse feed. The chief said that the troops are going to cross the Taklamakan Desert, and the food is very tight, so they can only leave these for everyone. It can be seen that if they can't find water and food, they will definitely die. They are in a desperate situation.
Ma Gava quickly recovered after a cold sweat, and he wanted to chase the troops alone, but looking at the boundless desert and asking for help from his injured comrades, Ma Gava took the initiative to take on the responsibility of saving his comrades and his own lives.
This is the legendary story told to us by the company commander Magava who came to our school to give a report many years later. At that time, Ma Gava was the company commander of the 38th Company, I was in junior high school, and Huang Laoxian was in high school. Huang Laoxie's remarks at the school-wide college entrance examination mobilization meeting had a "bad" impact among the students. Actually, if you think about it carefully, if you can't even make decisions about your own youth, what else will you have? Of course, these thoughts can only be put in the heart, and Huang Laoxian should not say it at the college entrance examination mobilization meeting.
The principal thought that it was necessary to carry out a revolutionary traditional education, so he invited Commander Ma to give a report.
We have heard Company Commander Ma's report many times, and he always talked about the predecessor of the Corps, and talked all the way to how he fell ill and fell behind, took the initiative to take on the heavy responsibility of rescuing the wounded and sick, how he found a bowl of springs, how he cultivated land in a bowl of springs, and how he turned the wounded and sick of five people into a corps company ----- 38 companies with hundreds of people today.
As a middle school student, we are familiar with his report, and we are all very familiar with the predecessor of the Xinjiang Corps. The predecessor of Ma Gava's old unit was the 359 Brigade, which became famous in Nanniwan. After the 359 Brigade arrived in Xinjiang, the three regiments were dispersed. Now it is distributed in the four directions of Khotan (now Khotan), Aksu, Ili, and Korla, and has grown into four divisions of the Xinjiang Corps.
This place belongs to the 38th Company of the First Regiment of the First Division of the Corps, and its predecessor should be the 718th Regiment. Ma Gava's old unit belonged to the 719th Regiment, and he was supposed to travel through the desert to Khotan with the old troops, but he fell behind. They had five wounded and sick fighters at the time, and they had to survive on the edge of the desert, and their first task was to find water, otherwise they would die. Under a dead poplar tree, Magava opened her backpack and hung a blanket on a branch to shield her from the sun's rays. They looked at the desert in front of them, and several people were lying under the trees waiting to die. However, Ma Gava didn't want to die, he was still young, he didn't believe that he was dying of thirst like this, he had participated in so many battles and was not killed, and the rain of bullets and bullets came, but he died of thirst on the edge of the desert, and he died too much. Magava was just sick with a high fever, and when the fever subsided, he was a warrior with good arms and legs, which was much better than the other four warriors. Magava decided to look for water. Just as Magava was about to leave, a sandstorm suddenly came. Magava hurriedly pulled down the blanket hanging from the branches and wrapped it around her head, revealing only her eyes. Makava lay under the dead poplar tree, stunned by what she saw. But I saw that the sandstorm was pouring in from the direction of the desert, and it was angrily chasing a group of wild animals. Antelope, wild camels, wild asses, wild horses, wild boars, wolves, rabbits, foxes...... Running desperately, the sandstorm chased frantically. The animals dodged the dead poplar tree where Magava was and headed northwest.
After the sandstorm, the desert returned to calm, and Ma Gava, who was lying under the poplar tree, still had palpitations. A few people shook off the sand from their bodies, and Magava looked in the direction of the wild animals. Magava excitedly said to everyone that we might be saved, and that if we find the animals, we will have meat to eat. Magava told everyone to wait under the poplar tree, and he went hunting with his gun on his back.
In fact, Ma Gawa didn't go far to find a poplar forest, and when she got closer, she found that those poplar trees were all alive, and there was a poplar tree that was more than a dozen thick and covered with golden leaves in winter, just like late autumn. It's an oasis, and in the center of the oasis is a small lake, and although it's winter, the water doesn't freeze. There is a thick layer of fog on the surface of the lake, there are fish swimming in the lake, there are water birds on the surface of the lake, and there are animals drinking water on the lake's edge. Magava's excitement is indescribable, it's a paradise. Of course, Magava was not in the mood to enjoy the view, and he knocked down an antelope on the spot. To Magawa's surprise, he fired a shot, and no animals escaped, they just shuddered at the accidental gunfire and continued to drink. Those animals were not afraid of the sound of gunfire at all, and they were not afraid of the new animal, and they took the sound of Magawa's gunfire as a fart. The animal also lay down to drink the water, which was much better than the water in his own kettle. Magava then poured the water from the kettle and filled it with a jug. Ma Gava walked around the small lake, and found that the small lake had a maximum of more than an acre of water, shaped like a bowl, and the water had no place to come and no place to go. Magawa judged that this was spring water, and said to herself, "Just such a bowl of water?"
Later, this bowl of water saved five wounded and sick people, including Ma Gava.
The old company commander Ma Gava gave us a report, and often said that after the discovery of a bowl of spring, it happened to be a lesson. As soon as the bell rang for the end of class, we dispersed to pee. When peeing, Huang Laoxian will make a lot of nonsense in the toilet. Say what's good about a bowl of spring, that spring water is bitter, I drank it when I was a child. If you drink that water, you will get a big cock disease, and there is no rule of law if you have this disease, so you can only rely on the woman's package of medicine. As soon as Huang Laoxian said this, the male classmates in the high school burst into laughter. Then, they were smoking cigarettes there, and we junior high school students could only watch with envy, waiting for the bell to ring.
An excerpt from the novella "Far Water".
About the Author
Zhang Zhe, whose real name is Zhang Bo, male, graduated from the Law Department of Peking University with a master's degree in law, is a member of the Chinese Writers Association, vice chairman of the Chongqing Writers Association and director of the Novel Creation Committee, and a professional writer of Chongqing Academy of Literature. His main works include the novels and university trilogy "Peach Plum", "Peach Blossom" and "Tao Yao", the novels "Zero Cannon Tower" and "Old Wind", the novella collection "Or Zhang" and "Towards Flowers", and the essay collection "Cultural Confessions". He has been on the annual novel list many times, and has won the Zhuang Chongwen Literature Award, the Hundred Flowers Literature Award, the Chongqing Literature and Art Award, etc., and was shortlisted for the Mao Dun Literature Award.