Why do children not like to talk to their parents as they get older?
When you are a child, your child is always around you, chattering non-stop, and they will give a positive response to any idea you put forward, and the parent-child relationship at that time seems to be extremely harmonious.
However, as your children grow older, especially in junior high school, do you find that they are becoming more and more reluctant to communicate with you?
1. Growing pains: independence and rebellion in adolescence
Children who enter junior high school are in the intertwined stage of adolescence and rebelliousness.
They begin to crave more "private space" and hope that their thoughts and actions will be respected and understood by their parents.
At the same time, they may also be resistant to their parents' words because of physical and psychological changes, so they choose to remain silent or resist.
2. The "Morse Code" for junior high school students: incomprehensible chat records
Have you noticed that junior high school students nowadays like to use some "Morse code" expressions when chatting?
These seemingly garbled words, numbers and expressions are actually "code words" between them.
They do this partly to protect their privacy, but also to prevent parents from interfering too much in their lives.
However, this practice has left many parents confused and worried.
They are worried that their children are too addicted to mobile phones, that they are exposed to bad information, and that they are more worried about their children's early love or being influenced by bad friends.
As a result, some parents will secretly check their children's mobile phone chat history when they are not at home.
However, when they see those "Morse code" chat records, they are often confused, and they don't know what the child is talking about.
3. Communication barriers between parents and children: how to break the deadlock?
In the face of their children's silence and resistance, many parents feel helpless. They don't know how to communicate with their children or how to reopen their minds. In fact, in order to break this deadlock, parents need to do the following:
1. Respect children's privacy: Children also need to have their own private space, and parents should respect their privacy and not interfere too much in their lives.
2. Empathy: Parents should learn to think from their children's perspective and understand their thoughts and needs. Only in this way can you find an entry point to communicate with your child.
3. Listen patiently: When children are willing to communicate with you, parents should listen patiently to their thoughts and feelings, and do not rush to interrupt or give suggestions.
4. Positive feedback: Parents should give positive feedback and support to their children's thoughts and feelings. Even if you disagree with them, respect their right to express themselves.
4. Break the "Morse Code": Understand the child's world
To truly understand their children, parents also need to learn to "decipher" their "Morse code".
This doesn't mean learning new chat skills or languages, but trying to understand their culture, interests, and values.
For example, you can take the initiative to find out about your child's favorite celebrities, anime, or games and why they like them.
This way, when you talk to your child, you can find common ground and bring each other closer.
At the same time, you can also try to participate in activities with your child, such as watching movies, playing games, or playing sports. This will not only strengthen your relationship with each other, but also give you a deeper understanding of your child's inner world.
5. Conclusion: Grow together and establish a healthy parent-child relationship
Children's growth is a long process, and they need the company and support of their parents. However, in the process, parents also need to keep learning and growing to adapt to the changes and needs of their children.
By respecting children's privacy, empathy, patient listening, and positive feedback, we can build a healthier and more harmonious parent-child relationship with our children.
At the same time, by understanding and engaging with children's worlds, we can better understand their ideas and needs, and provide them with better support and assistance.
So, when your child is getting older and less likely to talk to their parents, don't be too anxious and worried. I believe that through your efforts and understanding, the communication and relationship between you will definitely become smoother and more harmonious.