Some time ago, I wrote two articles about the elderly with their grandchildren (grandchildren), and found that there were no: those old people who are willing to help their children take care of their children, have 3 common traits/with grandchildren and without the elderly, which is happier?
Helping children bring up the third generation seems to be a fine tradition of the Chinese nation. Most of the grandchildren are brought up by their grandparents, and even if they live abroad, many of them need to ask their parents to help them for a while.
You see, as excellent as Gu Ailing, she was also brought up by her grandmother.
However, is it an obligation or a responsibility to bring grandchildren? Is it more happy or more helpless to bring grandchildren?
According to data from the China Health and Nutrition Survey, "the happiness level of the elderly with grandchildren is lower than that of the elderly without grandchildren." The more involved you are in taking care of your grandchildren, the lower the happiness of the elderly. ”
However, many elderly friends have different feelings from the survey data, they think that they are very happy and happy to bring their grandchildren, which is incomparable to doing other things!
However, there are also many people who have different opinions: it is easy to say that it is tiring to take care of children and pay money, but it is the most helpless to meet a daughter-in-law who does not know how to be grateful. Doing something like a cow can't be exchanged for a word of thanks, which is the saddest!
A friend left a message saying: If the daughter-in-law is reasonable and respects the elders, it is happy to bring her grandchildren, and if she meets a daughter-in-law who is unreasonable, it is not happiness at all!
This message has received more than 400 likes, which shows that there are many elderly people who think like this. Many people said:
There is no need to be grateful, and you are content without being trained.
There is no need to thank you, as long as you don't find fault with the family, you can be happy and happy
It's either that you didn't cook well, or that your child didn't bring it well, and it depends on you for a cold.
Speak my grandmother's heart!
It is instinct for the old man to love his grandson, and it is very happy to see the doll that looks like his own child growing up healthily.
However, the various dislikes of the daughter-in-law have significantly reduced the happiness index of the old man with his grandson.
Why does the daughter-in-law dislike this and that? This~ is actually a very complicated issue.
This is due to the influence of the concept of the social environment, the generation gap between the two generations, and the personal quality of the daughter-in-law......
In the eyes of some daughters-in-law, the parents-in-law help to take care of the grandson for the son, not for their own face, so their attitude does not matter.
In fact, although the old man brings his grandson for the sake of his son, the daughter-in-law is the grandson's mother and the most important person in the grandson's life, and of course she has to care about her feelings! The daughter-in-law's approval is an affirmation of her "job" of bringing her grandson.
When I was young, I didn't understand this truth, but now as I grow older, I have seen a lot of the relationship between my daughter-in-law and my mother-in-law, and I also understand the psychology of many old people.
I think it's not difficult to have a good relationship with your daughter-in-law, and your daughter-in-law is also a daughter-in-law for the first time, so she can't understand the psychology of the elderly, and sometimes she may not be sensible, which requires wise elders to guide. Here, I would like to give a few suggestions to my elderly friends:
01. It is necessary to learn what should be learned
In the past few decades, the rapid development of society, the concept of scientific parenting is also constantly updated, young people who have grown up in the new era accept new ideas quickly, and receive a lot of information from various channels, and they can no longer follow the way of raising children of the older generation.
Whether it is a daughter, a son, or a daughter-in-law, put forward some opinions on the issue of taking children, and the elderly should not be annoyed when they hear it. Maybe they are right, and they take the time to learn some educational knowledge for the sake of better communication with their children and the better growth of the next generation.
02. Put yourself in the right position
Parents are the guardians of their grandchildren, they are the first responsible persons, grandparents love their grandchildren, and they are also auxiliary nurturers, don't think that they are elders, and they have to say everything in the matter of raising children.
Helping children with children is "helping", and you must put yourself in the right position.
03. Establish a good communication model
The phrase "first there is a mother-in-law and then a daughter-in-law" means that most people understand it: first look at how the mother-in-law treats the daughter-in-law, and then how the daughter-in-law treats the mother-in-law.
However, I think there is another meaning to this sentence: how the mother-in-law handles the relationship within the family is also something that the daughter-in-law needs to learn. If the mother-in-law is reasonable, maintains close family affection with her son and daughter-in-law, and establishes a good communication mode and family atmosphere, the daughter-in-law will naturally respect the elderly.
If the in-laws often quarrel with each other, speak ill of each other, have a bad relationship, and have a bad relationship with the daughter-in-law, how can the daughter-in-law respect the in-laws?
04. It's okay to pretend to be stupid and sick appropriately
If you really meet children who don't know how to be grateful, you can be an in-law who can appropriately "pretend to be sick and stupid", so that your children can feel the difficulty of no one taking care of their children.
Bringing grandchildren is tiring and happy, but the premise is to have a harmonious family, if you don't have a good relationship with your children and feel very unhappy, then you still have to think carefully before deciding whether to take grandchildren.
Thank you for reading to the end!Click "Like" and "Share" to more people~
Wanqiu talks about parenting, the mother of the two babies who loves to learn and think, welcome to pay attention, complain about the chickens and dogs that raise babies together, share the happiness of raising babies, and summarize the lessons of raising babies.
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