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Text: Wish
As the saying goes: "Learn to speak in three years, learn to shut up in a lifetime". It's not difficult to learn to speak, but what to say and what not to say is something that many people don't figure out in their lives.
As the saying goes, if you say too much, you will lose. There is no shortage of lively and talkative people in life, such people seem to be good at interpersonal communication and can eat everywhere, but in fact, people do not have a high opinion of this kind of people.
Really smart people never talk much. People who talk a lot are saying nothing more than two things - showing off themselves and belittling others.
When you become a talkative person, you are also destined to be a nasty person. The more you talk, the more you lose.
As Mr. Mo Yan said, there are four things in life that cannot be said to outsiders. These four things are one's own goals, wealth, family, and past mistakes.
Don't let others know your goals
Things are done in secret, and words are defeated. No matter what you want to do, don't tell anyone about your goal, otherwise there is a high probability that it will end in failure.
Learn to talk less
When a relative's daughter was in college, she planned to go to graduate school, and she set herself the goal of a university in Beijing.
Relatives felt very proud after knowing their daughter's plans, and when they met people, they said that their daughter was going to go to such and such a university, and relatives, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc. around the relatives knew that their daughter was preparing to go to the school for graduate school.
Many people also use the example of girls to educate their own children, saying that you see how self-motivated the children of such and such a family are, you have to learn from her, etc., which will inevitably attract the jealousy of many children or parents.
In this way, the girl has already accumulated a wave of "enemies" before she is admitted to graduate school.
The publicity of relatives has increased the pressure on the girl, which was originally just a planned goal, but now it has become a sure fact.
After the results of the graduate school entrance examination came out that year, the girl failed to be admitted to the school of her choice as she wished, and the people around her immediately changed their words and said a lot of schadenfreude-like ridicule.
Since then, the girl has gone to work in other provinces and rarely attended meetings among relatives.
Talking about relatives and friends
Confucius said: Be sensitive to words and be sensitive to deeds. If you have a goal, you should shut up and do it, and everyone who proclaims the goal will know it, and it will not bring any benefit except unnecessary trouble.
Wealth is not exposed
It is the wisdom of our ancestors that wealth is not exposed.
When you have wealth, especially when you suddenly have wealth, don't let people know, otherwise it will attract the attention of others.
A netizen shared her personal experience. She is an only child, and her family is in a small county town, and her family is ordinary. Her own salary is not high, and her parents are also ordinary migrant workers.
But just a few years ago, when a local project was built, her family's house happened to be within the planning range, and she lost a lot of money.
In a small talk, a netizen inadvertently revealed the incident to a colleague, and joked that he might not come to work in the future, and planned to use the money to rent a store and open a small shop by himself.
Jealous of his colleagues
The speaker has no intention, but the listener has the intention. That colleague didn't know how jealous she was after listening to what happened to netizens, how could she tolerate netizens who were usually not as financially good as her to get rich overnight?
Since then, this colleague has been particularly attentive to netizens.
First, she lured netizens to spend money to invite them to dinner, give gifts, etc., and later recommended netizens to buy stocks, until she coaxed netizens to try gambling, and netizens reacted.
In the end, the netizen quit his job and cut off contact with this colleague. But despite the timely stop loss, a lot of money has already been spent.
In the past, he said, "If you are not afraid of thieves stealing, you are afraid of thieves." Now there are fewer people stealing money and robbing money openly, but the hidden harm is difficult to prevent. When you don't have money, people look down on you, and when you have money, you attract jealousy, although it's sad to say, but human nature is like this.
Therefore, it is good to say that your wealth is only known to you, and don't care about other people's opinions. Keeping one's wealth and enjoying one's life is the most practical thing.
Don't disclose your family to anyone
Making it easy for others to know their family situation is a common mistake made by many young people who have just come out of society. Your family situation, especially your family of origin, is also a form of privacy.
Your family situation can also affect your image in the minds of others.
If your original family conditions are not good, your parents are farmers or ordinary migrant workers, they have no education and no social status, and their economic level is not high.
After others get to know you, they will know that your family cannot provide you with any support, and your horizons will not be very broad-minded when you grow up in such a family, and you will easily become the target of bullying and deception in the crowd.
The influence of the family of origin
If your family is either rich or expensive, although others will not despise and bully you after knowing your family situation, it is difficult to ensure that some people with ulterior motives will beat your idea.
So it's best not to say anything about your family.
Including conflicts with parents, information about family members, what are the family's plans in the near future, etc. Caring people can judge the situation of your family from these few words, and the safest way is to shut up.
Past mistakes cannot be said
We all make mistakes, and we need to learn from them and remind ourselves that we can't make the same mistakes again.
But we can't tell others about our mistakes, because if we make mistakes, we actually prove that we have shortcomings in some areas, and telling others about your mistakes is equivalent to telling others about your weaknesses.
One girl told a thought-provoking story about her and her boyfriend.
Before meeting her boyfriend, the girl had a bad relationship. Her ex-boyfriend was very violent to her, with all kinds of verbal humiliation and physical torture.
It took her a long time to get rid of her ex-boyfriend's entanglement.
Quarrels between couples
After breaking up with her ex-boyfriend, the girl didn't dare to fall in love again, and she has been suffering from gains and losses in the relationship between men and women, and she couldn't get out of the shadow brought to her by the previous one for a long time.
Until he met his current boyfriend, he was very gentle and considerate to her. The girl told him about her and her previous boyfriend, and he would cry because of what happened to the girl.
But later, after the two people have been together for a long time, it is inevitable that there will be friction, and quarrels are inevitable.
At this time, the boyfriend will find out what the girl had told him about her ex-boyfriend before, and he will say to the girl viciously: "Why didn't he beat you to death in the first place?"
He knows the fragility of girls, and knows how to say the most cruel to girls, so he uses these to hurt girls over and over again.
Your past misfortunes and the mistakes you've made are best left rotting in your stomach. Don't let these become a lever for others to blackmail you, and don't let others have the capital to harm you.
There are far more things that cannot be said than the above four. Saying less and doing more is the true meaning.