Marriage, not like in the movie, two people who love each other can be sweet all the way to eternity. After ten years of marriage, I finally understood that a good marriage is not about two people sticking together every day, but being able to live together but maintain their own space. Today, I want to talk to you about what I've learned in marriage over the years about the importance of "each to his own."
01 Initial intimacy: We used to talk about everything
When we first got married, my wife and I were just typical "glue couples". We do almost everything together: we eat together, we watch movies together, we discuss things at work. Even when I sleep at night, I am shoulder to shoulder, without any gaps. At that time, I felt that this was the true meaning of marriage - our lives were closely connected and there was no distance.
During that time, our relationship was like a honeymoon, sweet and intoxicating. But as time went on, problems began to emerge. You will find that even the two people who love each other the most will have friction due to various trivial matters such as living habits, work pressure, family responsibilities, etc.
02 Quarrels and misunderstandings: the lack of distance
As soon as the honeymoon period in a marriage is over, problems begin to follow. My wife and I started arguing over some trivial things. Sometimes just a casual look, an unintentional word, can cause a heated argument. We all think that the other person doesn't understand us, or that we don't love each other anymore.
The root of the problem is that we are so dependent on each other that we have little room for ourselves. Everyone has their own interests and habits, but when we are always glued together, these interests and habits become nowhere to stay, which eventually leads to mutual depression and dissatisfaction.
03Grow Individually: Rebuild your own world
Realizing this, my wife and I decided to try "going our separate ways". Initially, the idea made me a little uneasy, as it meant that we needed to keep a certain distance and no longer be together all the time like we used to. But we know that this is done for each other's growth and the stability of the marriage.
We begin to consciously give each other personal space. I started making time to go to the gym while she went to yoga classes. We also found our own hobbies, I started reading again, and she tried baking. Slowly, we find that this state of living in a different way makes us feel relaxed and life becomes more interesting.
04 Stay connected: the freshness of distance
When we are no longer together all the time, we cherish the time together even more. We share our new discoveries and interests with each other, and discuss our growth experiences. This sense of distance brings a sense of freshness, as if we are getting to know each other again. Whenever she mentions an interesting story about her baking or I shares my progress in the gym, it makes us feel like we've found something new to talk about.
And in this process, we also realized that a good marriage is not necessarily about sticking together every day, but giving each other enough space to let each other grow freely. This freedom brings a sense of happiness that we have never experienced before.
05 Conclusion: Each has passed its own way, but it is closer
After ten years of marriage, I finally understand that a good marriage is to be together but not bound to each other. In our marriage, "going our separate ways" does not mean being distant, but rather being able to find our place in our respective worlds while still being able to support and accompany each other in times of need.
So, if you're also feeling tired or confused in your marriage, try giving each other some space. Give each other a chance to rediscover your interests and hobbies, and you may find that your relationship will become stronger and stronger.