The "Historical Records" says:
"Good medicine is good for disease, and good advice is good for action. ”
However, many people in life are unwilling to take bitter medicine, let alone listen to advice.
Therefore, the best way to help a person is to pour some cold water on him, and the best way to ruin a person is to praise him as much as possible.
Psychology reveals that the best way to abolish a person is to tout his virtue to the point that he is not worthy!
one
In ancient times, there was a man named Fang Zhongyong, who showed his talent in poetry when he was very young and was praised as a prodigy.
Those wealthy families often invite Fang Zhongyong to their homes, on the one hand, to feel the talent of this prodigy, and on the other hand, to show that they cherish talents.
Of course, whenever Fang Zhongyong left, those rich families would give some money to show their gratitude.
Fang Zhongyong's father is a person who loves money very much, and he regards Fang Zhongyong as a cash cow.
When no one invited, he led Fang Zhongyong to take the initiative to visit, in order to get a little money.
As he followed his father's family in and out of the house all day long, Fang Zhongyong's studies were abandoned, and his talent in poetry gradually withered because he did not choose a correct way to cultivate it.
After Fang Zhongyong grew up, people could no longer see the shadow of the original prodigy from him.
Living in the praise and praise of others every day, people's narcissistic nature will leak out, and they will feel that they are omnipotent, which is the fundamental reason for the abolition of genius boys.
two
No matter what the other person does, praise is right.
Especially when some things themselves have a certain amount of controversy, when this person has a little psychological doubt, if someone next to him keeps praising him, it will make him affirm himself on a psychological level.
These things are not difficult, everything has two sides, and it is very simple to find one opposite.
As long as the praise is not exaggerated, the praise is very perfunctory.
But if you can really find a certain point and constantly praise that point, it will make people believe that they are seriously affirming themselves.
When a person has been living in an atmosphere of praise, no matter what he does, he will be affirmed by others, then this person will gradually swell and gradually become arrogant.
When one day, suddenly the person next to him does not give him affirmation, and he will immediately be psychologically unable to accept it.
You don't need others to do anything, and you've already collapsed.
叁
If you listen to too many good words, you will be addicted.
If the people around you always praise you, whether you are doing it right or not, you may doubt at first that there is some truth in it, but after a long time, you will lose the ability to judge and believe it to be true.
Because fundamentally speaking, people still hope that they will develop in a good direction, and when the people around him always praise him, his heart is expanding little by little, and he has lost his initial fighting spirit.
If a person is always blindly praised by others and does not know how many pounds and taels he has, he is easy to fall into self-arrogance.
As long as this person becomes arrogant, he will have no one in his eyes, and he will not listen to the slightest unpleasant words around him, and over time, those who were really good for him at the beginning will gradually stay away from him.
Because no one wants to be in the company of someone who doesn't have a clear sense of self.
It's a particularly terrible erosion process, it corrupts you from your mind, it causes you to rot from the roots.
What's worse is that the process is almost irreversible.
When a person is so arrogant that he can't listen to any contrary words, he has already been abolished, and the rest of his life is purely going downhill.
Always have a clear understanding of yourself and don't lose yourself in some flattering words.
Finally, to borrow a passage from the writer Tonghua at the end:
Some people can hide their malice in praise, and some people hide their bitterness in scolding. What is good for you is not necessarily really good, and what is bad for you is not necessarily really bad.
Life is rare and confused, but it is also important to be sober.