There is a saying that says:
Waiting for idle changes but old people's hearts, but old people's hearts are changeable.
When you get married, everyone goes for happiness.
But people's hearts are complicated, and many times, when you walk, your heart is far away, and betrayal and hurt come.
Who doesn't have a few hurdles in life? The important thing is to deal with them calmly.
After being betrayed by a man, keeping these bottom lines is a woman's retreat.
One
Hold on to your possessions
In the Korean movie "Parasite", there is a classic line that profoundly explains the importance of money:
Money is like an iron, ironing out all the folds of life.
Life is real firewood, rice, oil and salt, without money, all the backbone and morality have no support.
When you suffer from a man's cheating and betrayal, you should first protect your financial interests, and don't act impulsively to bury hidden dangers for your future life.
There is a friend who, after discovering that her husband was cheating and betraying, was furious and insisted on divorce and take away the children. The man grabbed her divorce and was reluctant to have children, and kept setting various constraints and dragging it out. In order to get a divorce as soon as possible, my friend made the biggest concession financially and lost a lot of economic rights and interests.
But after the divorce, the children's education, the parents' pension, the mortgage and car loan, everything was like a mountain, overwhelming her, and her life completely lost its quality.
In the novel "Xi Bao" by writer Yi Shu, Xi Bao has a very realistic sentence:
If I don't have a lot of love, then I need a lot of money.
The essence of marriage is a community of interests, and the marriage law also protects property rather than feelings.
Two
Hold on to your career
When talking about feelings, actor Ma Yili has a heartfelt saying:
When I'm in love, I'm also very in love, but if I find out that a man is getting in the way of my career and hindering my career development, I will definitely leave him without hesitation.
For a woman, career is not only the foundation of her life, but also the embodiment of social value, no matter what, she can't relax, let alone give up.
Therefore, after the well-known peach incident, although Ma Yili initially chose to forgive, she finally firmly chose to divorce.
I chose to forgive because I wanted to make one last effort and let myself have regrets.
chose to leave because he had a career and confidence, which was enough to pay for his choice.
After being cheated and betrayed by a man, women should put themselves into a busy job, so that they have no time to be depressed and sad, and let their careers divert their attention and enhance their confidence.
As long as you hold on to your career, you will have the ability to pay for your choices, and your life will not be too bad.
Three
Stick to your own principles and bottom line
There was a female reader who sent a message in the background, crying about her experience:
After the man's first cheating and betrayal, because he was reluctant to let the family and let the child suffer, the woman easily chose to forgive.
She thought that as long as she was generous enough and did not blame the past, the man would return to the family and live a good life. But to her surprise, it didn't take long for the man to cheat again, but this time it was a little more hidden than the last time.
Women don't understand, why do they compromise and give in, and men don't know how to be grateful, and they don't know how to change their ways?
There is a saying that says:
If a man betrays you, it's his fault. If this man betrays you again, it's your fault.
The occurrence of cheating and betrayal means that your principles and bottom line are not clear, or your principles and bottom line are not binding on men.
After the cheating and betrayal, women should re-examine each other's future, even if they choose to stick to this marriage, they must stick to their own principles and bottom line, and they cannot compromise or even lower their requirements again and again, so that men can hurt you again.
In the book Marriage: The Challenge, the psychologist Rudolph says:
Many people believe that marriage is about gaining security. However, marriage does not provide a sense of security. Marriage does not solve any problem;
The real sense of security comes from oneself, from the money in one's hands, and from the ability one has.
When you become strong enough, all the problems in the marriage will not be a problem.