"Do you still love me?"
Chen Si asked Ah Cheng.
Ah Cheng sat on the edge of the bed, smoking a cigarette and staring at the moonlight in the night sky with empty eyes. I don't know if he was silent or didn't hear clearly, he didn't respond to Chen Si's question, he still looked out the window without moving, and the smoke floated clearly upward under the moonlight.
Chen Si didn't continue to ask, took out a cigarette from the cigarette case, lit it and smoked it alone.
The room was filled with the smell of nicotine and semen, and the sound of each other's breathing could be heard quietly.
For Ah Cheng, it doesn't really seem to matter whether he loves or not, and the word "love" has never appeared in the concrete form of him for as long as he can remember.
He was 8 years old that year, his father was a drunkard, his mother gambled, the only place he could go was the neighbor's house, the neighbor was not bad, except for letting Ah Cheng play with his children, except for letting Ah Cheng be bullied by his children, there was nothing bad. Fortunately, he will be given a bowl of rice, which can be regarded as a reward for playing.
"If you go out to gamble again, I'll beat you to death. Ah Cheng hid in his room and listened to his father say hysterically to his mother.
"Just with you, you can't make money except drinking, and you want to kill me, but you can really do it. Mother's taunt caused my father to smash things in the living room frantically.
"Look at Brother Li, even if you don't do anything for a day, you can still earn money, if you look at you again, it's useless, I knew that I was with him at the beginning. Mother's words grew harsher and sharper.
Ah Cheng curled up in the corner, hugged himself, and did not cry, he was used to this kind of day, and the numbness in the eyes of an 8-year-old child said it all.
"Smack!" a loud slap resounded throughout the room.
Immediately followed by the cry of his mother, mixed with swearing, he greeted Ah Cheng's father and ancestors for eighteen generations.
Ah Cheng was still motionless in the corner, he didn't care about everything that happened outside, as if he didn't care, as if they had never cared about him.
Later, his parents divorced, Ah Cheng followed his father, frankly followed his grandparents, his mother packed up his things, got into Lao Li's car, and left the house without looking back. Since then, his father has been in a slump, his alcoholism has become more and more serious, he has never been sober, and he has not cared about Ah Cheng at all.
Fortunately, the grandparents only have a grandson like Ah Cheng, and since they can't control their son, they will raise their grandson well. Ten years later, Ah Cheng was admitted to an unknown pheasant university, left his hometown, and came to a strange city alone to start his life.
Ah Cheng has a good image, 1.85 meters tall, handsome, arrogant personality, as soon as he arrived in college, he made many young and ignorant girls fall in love and die for him. Ah Cheng is a pragmatic person, never talks about empty love, only about money, and has no interest in treating these worthless girls at all.
Chen Si's father left early, his mother remarried, and later married a contractor and brought a son, who was 5 years older than Chen Si.
The stepfather is a middle-aged man with a big belly and a perverted stool, and as long as Chen Si is home alone, he will run to her room and attack her. Later, it became more and more excessive, until one day he violated her.
Chen Si's mother was a housewife with no income, and she obeyed her stepfather's words, dared not speak out, and even dared not resist her stepfather's request that they sleep together.
It wasn't until that year that Chen Siwei went to college, an unknown pheasant university, that he slept with his stepfather before leaving, and left this so-called home completely after taking the tuition.
Ah Cheng took classes during the day and worked as a waiter in a nightclub at night, at first he just served tea and poured water to deliver wine, and by chance, he was taken by a rich woman who drank.
"Young man, drink with my sister, I'll give you a thousand, sleep with my sister, I'll give you ten thousand. The middle-aged woman with heavy makeup and a bloated body said to Ah Cheng.
Ah Cheng was silent for a moment and then said, "Drink and sleep, a total of 10,000, I want cash." ”
Ah Cheng quickly became smooth sailing in the industry with his image and service, and also made a lot of money, in addition to leaving his tuition and living expenses, he always called his grandparents for the extra money.
Even if Chen Si saves money from his stepfather, he has little left except for tuition, and later overheard that he can earn a lot of money by drinking in nightclubs. Chen thinks about the squalor he has experienced, and instead of continuing to live in that home in fear, it is better to be a pure bitch and be self-reliant.
The guests were very generous, especially for a female college student like Chen Si who looked innocent and had a slender figure.
For Miss, going from shy to sophisticated has always been a matter of time and money.
Rich villains sit on the seats, and moneyless gentlemen are nasty.
In this materialistic era, the young lady who lies on the bed and moans to earn money is happy, and unlike the prostitutes who sold themselves in the Qinglou in ancient times, the young lady is voluntary.
Ah Cheng and Chen Si met in a promiscuous drinking game, one went to the bathroom to wash his face, the other went to the bathroom to rinse his mouth, looked at each other, and the distressed feelings appeared.
Since ancient times, he has always laughed at poverty and prostitution.
Later, Ah Cheng and Chen Si lived together, attending classes during the day and coming out at night, although the two lived together, they spent very little time together. They agreed that they would earn enough money to buy a house in a small county town and open a small shop after graduation, and never be separated for the rest of their lives, saying goodbye to their past.
Ah Cheng met a divorced rich woman, Chen Si met a single boss, and the loneliness of two people fulfilled the carnival of four people. As the days passed, the savings increased day by day, and the goal was getting closer and closer to the original agreement.
It was late at night that day, and Ah Cheng, who was lying on the rich woman's bed, received a crying call from Chen Si, "Where are you, he beat me, I'm so scared, I miss you so much." Ah Cheng hung up the phone, got dressed and ran out to take a taxi.
Chen Si stood on the side of the street with red and swollen cheeks, Ah Cheng hugged Chen Si, didn't say a word, took Chen Si back to their rental house, kissed Chen Si frantically, and after some clouds and rain, Ah Cheng sat on the edge of the bed and lit a cigarette.
Ah Cheng asked calmly.
"Do you love me?"
After that night, Ah Cheng completely disappeared from Chen Si's life.
Only a paragraph of Ah Cheng's words was left on the refrigerator label.
"Chen Si, I want you and you to hide in a darkless place to live, but the sun still burns out the dusk with your own hands. Low self-esteem always kills people and sets fires in the middle of the night, you are the person I love the most in the world I hate the most, but the person I hate does not die, and the person I love is impossible. ”