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I am an ordinary Chinese housewife with a small name. Chinese New Year's Eve is thirty-five years old, and she and her husband Xiaogang have been married for seven years. We live in a small city, and although life is not luxurious, it is still stable and happy. I have a good relationship with Xiaogang, he is a gentle and considerate husband. Our home became lively five years ago because my in-laws moved in and stayed in the bridal room that my parents gave us when we got married.
I understand the difficulties of my in-laws, who are getting older and not living alone in their hometown. Initially, Xiaogang's parents planned to move in with us, and I had no objection. After all, it is our responsibility as daughters-in-law to take care of the elderly. And, I think it's also an opportunity for us as a couple to take care of our parents. In the first few years, our lives were stable, and although there were sometimes some minor frictions with our in-laws, they were basically resolved.
Recently, however, the situation has become more and more complicated. My parents are getting older, and the conditions in their home are not ideal. I hope they can move into my and Xiaogang's house and I can take better care of them. But when I proposed the idea to Xiao Gang, I was shocked by his reaction. He strongly disagreed, saying that our family could not accommodate so many people, and besides, his parents had been living here for five years, and it was not appropriate to move out. Moreover, he also said something that I found difficult to accept: "Your parents have sons, let your brother take care of them." "
This sentence caused mixed emotions in my heart. Although my younger brother is also willing to take care of his parents, his own family situation is not very good, and he can afford the education expenses of his two children. I knew that if my parents could move in with me so that I could take better care of them and not let them continue to suffer. But Xiao Gang's attitude made me feel incomprehensible.
Not only that, but I found that Xiao Gang's parents began to show more and more interference in my family life and Xiao Gang's family life. My in-laws always criticize me in the way I take care of the family, and sometimes even criticize me directly, which makes me feel very stressed. I understand that as a daughter-in-law, you have to respect your in-laws' opinions, but I am bothered by them being too intrusive in our lives.
Also, my in-laws showed obvious resistance to the idea of letting my parents move in. They feel like they're already living here, and it's unreasonable to suddenly give up the space to my parents. They also said that their son Xiaogang had already taken on the responsibility of taking care of them, so why didn't my parents find their own son to take care of them?
These conflicts have made our family atmosphere tense. I didn't know how to solve these problems, and I didn't know how to make Xiaogang understand my feelings. I want my parents to have a better life in their old age, and I also want our family to live in peace, but the current situation makes me feel helpless.
During this time, I tried to communicate with Xiaogang and try to find a solution that would have the best of both worlds. At night, after the child went to sleep, Xiaogang and I sat in the living room, and I looked at him, thinking about how to speak. Eventually, I decided to be honest about my thoughts.
"Xiaogang, I know that you are very filial to your parents, and I respect them. But I think our house has become a little crowded. And, I wish my parents would move in with us so that I can take better care of them as well. I said tentatively.
After Xiao Gang listened, he frowned: "Xiaolan, I understand your concern. But we don't have any extra room in our house anymore, and besides, my parents have been living here for five years, and you want them to move out suddenly, how is that possible?"
"And what about my parents?" I couldn't help but ask, "they also need to be taken care of, especially since my father's health is getting worse. ”
Xiao Gang was silent for a while, and then replied, "Don't your parents still have your brother? Let him take care of them." ”
Hearing this, I felt a little angry in my heart. "Xiaogang, how can you say that? My brother has already borne a lot of burdens, he has two children to raise, and he is under a lot of pressure. And we're all family, so why can't we help each other?" I tried to make him understand where I standed.
Xiao Gang sighed, as if thinking about my words. He finally said, "Xiaolan, I know your feelings. But you have to understand that my parents are old, and moving around is a toss for them. And, if your parents come, the home may become even more chaotic. ”
I was disappointed by his attitude, but I didn't give up. My parents were not happy in their hometown, and they needed my care. I continued to try to convince Xiao Gang that he understood my position.
"We can find a way to solve the space problem, such as building a small house in the yard so that it doesn't disturb the life of the in-laws. "I came up with a compromise solution.
Xiao Gang's eyes lit up: "That's a good idea." But building a house also takes time and money, and we have to think about it. He seemed to agree with the idea.
At this time, my in-laws heard us discussing this and came over. The mother-in-law said, "Xiaolan, are your parents going to move here? What should we do? We are used to living here and don't want to move away." ”
The father-in-law also nodded in agreement: "Yes, Xiaolan, you have to consider our feelings." ”
I tried to reassure them: "Mom and Dad, don't worry, we won't let you be wronged. We'll find a way to try not to disturb you. ”
The mother-in-law still looked a little uneasy: "So where are you going to let us live?
"Xiaolan will never do this, we just want to find a way that everyone can accept. Xiao Gang hurriedly explained.
Although the discussion did not completely solve the problem, at least some consensus was reached. Next, Xiao Gang and I need to discuss further and find a solution that will satisfy everyone. We need to let my parents be taken care of without hurting my in-laws' feelings. It's going to be a tough process, but I'm willing to put in the effort.
After a few days of thinking, Xiao Gang and I continued to explore our solution. We needed a concrete plan that would allow my parents to move in without affecting my in-laws' lives. Xiao Gang made a compromise proposal: build a small detached house in the yard so that my parents could live there while my in-laws could still live in the main house.
Xiao Gang and I went to see the space in the yard and discussed the layout of the house. He said seriously: "Xiaolan, if you build a small house here, your parents can live comfortably, and we can take care of them." It's the best of both worlds. ”
I nodded: "That's a good idea, but it takes some time to build a house." Where should my parents stay during this period?"
Xiao Gang pondered for a moment, and then said, "If your parents move in with us temporarily, we can squeeze in." When the new house is built, they move in. ”
This proposal made me feel that Xiao Gang was trying to find a balance. I smiled and nodded, "Okay then, we'll do that." I'm going to tell my parents ahead of time so they can get ready. ”
Over the next few days, Xiaogang and I contacted the construction company to discuss the design and construction time of the small house. At the same time, I called my parents and told them about our plans. They agreed with the proposal and thanked Xiao Gang.
During the construction process, our house became a bit chaotic, but Xiaogang and I did our best to keep the family running. My in-laws were initially a little apprehensive about our decision to build a house, worried that the noise from the construction would disturb them. But Xiao Gang and I patiently reassured them, explaining that it was to make the whole family live better.
In the process, I noticed that my in-laws' attitudes had also changed. They started to take the initiative to care about my parents' situation and even asked when my parents moved in during the chat. I realized that they were also trying to embrace the change.
Towards the end of construction, my parents temporarily moved into our home. Although our home is a little crowded, we are all trying to maintain a harmonious family atmosphere. My parents also expressed their understanding and waited patiently for the small house to be built.
One afternoon, my in-laws and my parents were sitting in the living room chatting. It was the first time they had met face-to-face. It was a little awkward at first, but as time went on, they started talking about their respective lives and past experiences. I feel very relieved to see the two families living in harmony.
Construction was finally over and my parents moved into their new house. They are very satisfied with this new home and thank Xiaogang for his heart. Xiao Gang and I are also relieved that our efforts have finally borne fruit.
This experience has taught me that communication and understanding are the keys to solving problems. Although the process was a bit difficult, we eventually found a solution that would satisfy the whole family. I hope that our family will continue to be harmonious and happy in the days to come.
The completion of the new house has brought new vitality to our family. My parents were very happy when they moved into the small house, and they felt a sense of belonging in this new home. I looked at the smiles on their faces and my heart was filled with warmth.
Xiao Gang is also constantly trying to build a good relationship with my parents. He often went to visit them, bringing some fruit and snacks. My parents also liked Xiao Gang's son-in-law very much, and always invited him over for dinner.
One night, Xiao Gang and I were sitting in the living room, and I said to him, "Xiao Gang, you have been really trying to take care of my parents lately, thank you." Xiao Gang replied with a smile: "This is as it should be, after your parents moved here, our family has become more complete." ”
Our relationship has also become closer because of this period of running-in. Although the process was not easy, Xiao Gang's efforts made me feel happy. I began to understand his position better, and he began to think more about my feelings.
At the same time, the in-laws seem to be embracing this new family structure. They began to take the initiative to care for my parents and even invited my parents to the main house for dinner at times. I feel very grateful to see the two families gradually come together.
However, life is not always smooth sailing. One weekend, Xiao Gang's brother's family came to visit out of the blue. They live out of town and rarely come to us. This came as a bit of a surprise to us.
Xiaogang's brother Zhang Qiang came to our house with his wife and two children. The in-laws were happy to see them, and the whole family sat around. During the meal, Zhang Qiang said to Xiao Gang: "I heard that you have built a small house in the yard? Why didn't you live for your parents?"
Xiao Gang explained: "It was built for Xiaolan's parents. Mom and Dad have been living here for five years, and we think Xiaolan's parents should have a place to live. ”
Zhang Qiang frowned: "How can you do this? My parents are old and need better care." How can you keep them in the main house?"
Xiao Gang tried to explain: "Brother, my parents live well here, and Xiaolan's parents also need to be taken care of." We've found the best of both worlds. ”
Zhang Qiang was obviously not satisfied with this answer: "You have to consider the feelings of your parents, they are now older and should have better living conditions." ”
This conversation made me feel a little uneasy. I understand Zhang Qiang's concern, but his words are also difficult to accept. I tried to ease the atmosphere: "Brother Zhang Qiang, our family has been taken care of, and this is the most important thing. ”
Zhang Qiang glanced at me and didn't seem to agree with my point of view, but he didn't continue arguing. The atmosphere became a little tense throughout the dinner, but Xiao Gang and I tried to stay as calm as possible.
This conflict made me realize that our decisions are not always agreed upon by everyone. However, Xiaogang and I remain steadfast in our belief that our choice is best for the family. Although Zhang Qiang's comments make me feel uneasy, I believe that as long as we continue to work hard to communicate, we will be able to find a solution to the problem.
Zhang Qiang's family spent the night at our house and left early the next morning. After they left, Xiao Gang looked at me and smiled helplessly: "My brother is always so direct. ”
I nodded slightly: "Yes, but he also cares about his parents." As long as we stand our ground and respect their opinions, I believe we can find a balance. ”
Xiao Gang held my hand and said gently, "Thank you, Xiaolan, you are really understanding." In fact, during this time, you have been paying for our family, and I have seen it all. ”
His concern warmed my heart: "Xiaogang, you have also given a lot." I am confident that we will walk through these challenges together and make our families feel happy. ”
During this time, Xiaogang and I paid more attention to communication and negotiation. We had regular family meetings with my in-laws and my parents to discuss some family matters. In this way, we gradually found a common ground where everyone could have their say.
One night, we had dinner together with my in-laws and my parents. My in-laws came up with an idea that they wanted to go out with my parents.
The mother-in-law smiled and said, "Xiaolan, the weather has been so good recently, do you think we can go out with your parents?"
My parents agreed: "Yes, yes, it's just a good time to relax." ”
I was pleasantly surprised by this proposal. Originally, I thought that the relationship between the two families might become awkward due to some conflicts, but I didn't expect my in-laws to offer to go out together. This is gratifying to me, and at the same time I have seen the harmonious development of family relationships.
We agreed on a time and place to visit, and chose a nearby scenic spot. That morning, our group set off happily. Along the way, my in-laws and my parents had a great conversation, and it seemed that they had forgotten the previous tension.
In the scenic area, we visited the beautiful scenery together and tasted the local specialties. Everyone's faces were filled with happy smiles. My in-laws and my parents take care of each other and care for each other, which makes me feel the warmth of family.
This trip not only allowed us to relax and relax, but also further promoted the integration of the two families. Xiaogang and I were on our way home, full of hope for the days ahead. We believe that as long as we continue to work hard, the family relationship will definitely get better and better.
When we got home, Xiao Gang and I discussed how to continue to maintain this harmonious family atmosphere. We decided to organize regular family activities such as cooking together, going out or watching a movie. Through these activities, we hope to bring families closer together.
I learned a lot during this experience. I learned that communication, understanding and respect are important factors in maintaining family harmony. Despite the challenges we may encounter in life, if we work together, we can overcome them and make our families happier.
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