Night reading|36 years old, I am single and egg freeze rejected for 5 years

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2024-04-29 11:12Posted in Anhui Life Field Creator

At this year's two sessions,

"Moderately and orderly liberalize the restrictions on the freezing of eggs for unmarried women of childbearing age,

Preserve and grow"

Once again a hot topic,

"Single egg freezing" is increasingly discussed by the public.

▲ "The first single egg freezing case in China" Xu Zaozao Zaozao's home in Guangzhou

5 years ago, the single Xu Zao Zao,

If you want to leave a relatively healthy egg before the age of 31,

After being rejected from the egg freezing door by a tertiary hospital in Beijing,

She took the hospital to court for violating "general personality rights".

This case is the first lawsuit in the country caused by "egg freezing".

In mid-April, one came to Guangzhou to see Xu Zaozao,

After losing the case once,

Last year, she again submitted an appeal application for the second instance.

The case has been going on for 5 years now.

At this time, Xu Zao Zao was in a relationship,

Focus on the current work and life,

We chatted with her about her journey over the years.

One also chatted with the doctor Bi Ye,

The "pros" and "cons" of egg freezing for singles.

Self-report: Xu Zao Zao

Editor: Qin Chu

Editor-in-charge: Chen Ziwen

I am 36 years old, and at the age of 30, I decided to freeze my eggs.

The first time I heard about "egg freezing" was in 2015, when I was about to graduate from graduate school, and the news of a female star going abroad to freeze her eggs appeared in the media, and everyone discussed it very much, and at first I didn't understand why women would be more free to make this choice.

▲See an exhibition organized by a female artist

After graduating, I worked in Beijing, and when I was nearly 30 years old, my career was in the development stage, and I did not meet anyone who could spend the rest of my life together, and I was getting closer and closer to the so-called golden age of childbearing. I started to get anxious, I no longer eat like I did when I was 20 years old, I have a lot of energy, and if I stay up all night, my state will be very affected the next day.

Entering the age of 30, it is like a countdown, and the people around me keep telling me, "I am going to settle down at the age of 30", "the marriage market is going to be popular", "you don't have a family now, it will be too late in a few years, and it will be difficult to have children".

But at that time, it was not a suitable time for me to make a fertility decision, and I didn't want to give up the possibility of the future, so I wondered if there was a way to separate love, marriage, and parenting, and delay anxiety for a few years, maybe "egg freezing" was a feasible solution.

▲Most of the assisted reproduction departments of the hospital are consulted on a family basis

In November 2018, I went to the hospital for the first time to register for consultation on "egg freezing", and chose Beijing Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital affiliated to Capital Medical University, and hung up an expert number for a face-to-face consultation.

Many hospitals have difficulties from the beginning of the registration step. For example, there is no way to register online in the assisted reproduction department of the Third Hospital of Beijing Medical University, you must go to the scene, and you must prove that you are married when you register, otherwise you may not even be able to enter the outpatient building.

▲Waiting at the hospital

As soon as I entered the hospital building, I felt very uncomfortable, most of them were husbands and wives or mothers and daughters who went to the hospital together, and I was the only one alone, as if I should not be here as a single woman.

There are two waiting rooms in the assisted reproduction department, the corridors are crowded, the queues are twisting and turning, and the indoor heating in Beijing is very high in winter, and I am sweating profusely.

▲ Black intermediary advertisements can be seen everywhere in the toilet

I was sitting in the waiting room, and suddenly a person rushed out of the crowd, and there was a small advertisement on the ground, which said "Paid egg donation, go to the United States to have children". Advertisements for such underground black institutions abound even behind the women's restrooms.

There are two or three tables in a small consultation room, and one ear can hear the questions next door. I told the doctor that I wanted to consult about egg freezing, and she first asked me about my age and physical condition as usual, and it wasn't until I said I was single that the doctor looked up at me very seriously, and I realized that the real conversation between the two of us had just begun.

▲ There was a black intermediary who called Xu Zaozao to "sell"

The doctor has been dissuading me, she said, "If you don't take childbirth seriously when you are young, you will regret it in two years, and you can do your career at any time."

This kind of words made me feel familiar, at that moment I was like a helpless little girl, standing here was being criticized, my judgment of my body is not important, the important thing is that everyone does it according to the laws of society.

I walked out of the hospital in a huff, confused that as an independent adult woman, I wanted to dispose of a part of my body, only to be told that it was unreasonable. I just want to leave a healthy egg, if everything depends on age, natural and physiological factors, what is the difference between humans and animals?

I ran to the Sichuan restaurant opposite the hospital to have a big meal, very frustrated, if I am not satisfied with the service in the express delivery, takeaway and other industries in life, at least I can make a customer service number, but in this matter, I am helpless.

In 2019, I learned through some channels that there are still many single women who need to freeze their eggs but are rejected by the hospital. At present, "egg freezing" is an option for women who have been very successful and achieve financial freedom, and the high price of egg freezing abroad is not so easy to achieve for most single women in China.

If "egg freezing" can be done in China, the cost price is about 20,000 or 30,000 yuan, which can not only increase the possibility of an ordinary single woman like us in the future. At the same time, when some public hospitals can engage in "egg freezing" related services, there will be fewer gray areas such as black intermediaries, and medical risks will be reduced.

Later, I went to an event related to single childbirth, which gave me a glimmer of hope, and it was on this occasion that I first heard about "impact litigation" – the use of litigation to get things moving in a good direction within reasonable and lawful means. I felt that I could do something to make the issue of "egg freezing rights for single people" discussed or seen.

The first time I went to court was on my 31st birthday, but the case failed, and the court rejected me, and I was quite frustrated. At the end of September 2019, I filed a lawsuit with the court again on the basis of "general personality rights", and this time the case was successfully filed.

In some of the literary works we read when we were children, women who gave birth alone were either victims of hurt and insult when they were young, or they were tainted by sexual morality, which were all relatively negative images. This time, I want everyone to see that the image of a single woman with a birth plan is positive, even if it is through self-exposure.

▲ Court summons

In December 2019, the first trial was held, and in September 2021, the second trial was held, and we lost the case. In the summer of 2022, I submitted an appeal application for the second instance, and the first trial of the second instance was held in May 2023, and I am still waiting......

The issue of "egg freezing" is relatively complicated, and it involves laws, policies, and management, as well as some social aspects. After the first trial of the first instance, we organized some seminars with the law firm and also gave online lectures, and I myself would find some people with a professional background in assisted reproduction to popularize the principles of egg freezing online.

At first, I saw a lot of people on the Internet who were concerned about this matter, and I also did the collection and analysis of public opinion, and some voices were rational discussions, such as if it was legal for single people to freeze their eggs, would it cause egg sales.

As the case has developed, it has been 5 years since I received all kinds of voices. Questioning every aspect of me, attacking my appearance or trying to incite some gender antagonism. A single woman "dares" to say such a demand, as if she has committed a "heinous crime".

But there are also voices that support me, and a netizen left me a message saying, "Thank you for doing these things and saying what we want to say for us", and I was quite touched at that moment. For so long, I've been in a constant state of bowing around and thanking everyone for their attention, and that was the first time someone had said "thank you" to me.

▲ Support from women

Over the years, I have come to realize that most people equate "egg freezing" with "birth", without considering that this may be an "insurance".

Single egg freezing does not mean single childbirth, there are actually many possibilities behind it. After freezing eggs for three or five years, I met a partner who could be married, so I went to marriage and then went to parenting.

There are actually a lot of possibilities behind single egg freezing. It's not that a woman can't find a man to marry, but that she wants to be able to take more control of her life.

I've received messages from women who, after paying attention to my case, feel that their long-standing fertility anxiety has been relieved to some extent, and although they can't use the technology for the time being, they feel that the future is promising. For a single woman, if she wants to become a mother in the future, she may have a choice.

I didn't expect this case to drag on for so long, the golden time for me to freeze my eggs is about to pass, and I'm currently in love. I feel that my life is more important now, I am very optimistic about focusing on the present, working and thinking that the future will be better.

Q: One

A: Bi Ye (Doctor, Master of Hospital Management from Harvard University, Served as a Senior Executive of Several Foreign-funded Hospitals)

Q: What is "egg freezing"?

A: "Egg freezing" is to take out a woman's eggs in vitro and freeze them to achieve the purpose of fertility preservation. This technique was first applied in clinical practice for cancer.

In medicine, it is generally recommended that women under the age of 35 can check their AMH value (anti-Mullerian hormone), and decide whether and when to freeze eggs according to the age of the ovaries.

Q: What conditions do women need to meet if they want to freeze their eggs?

A: At present, single women in Chinese mainland are prohibited from freezing eggs, even if they are married, if they want to freeze their eggs, they must have three certificates - marriage certificate, ID card, birth permit, and be diagnosed with infertility before they can proceed.

There is only one special case in China where egg freezing can be done for single women: when you have a clear medical indication, such as a tumor, etc., at this time you need to preserve the fertility rate, and after the ethical assessment of the hospital, you can freeze the eggs if you meet the indications.

▲ Processing of frozen egg test tubes

Q: What are the procedures and steps of egg freezing?

A: Before egg freezing, you need to do a comprehensive health examination to rule out infectious, gynecological and other diseases. Then there are three steps to go through:

1. Ovulation induction

2~3 months to raise eggs, the second or third day of menstruation, enter the stimulation cycle, during which there are about three or four times, you need to go to the hospital for B ultrasound blood drawing. At the same time, every day, inject stimulation injections and use stimulation drugs to make these 10~15 eggs develop and grow at a uniform speed.

2. Egg retrieval

Egg retrieval is performed with a thin needle from the side wall of the vagina and then into the ovaries, and the eggs are sucked out one by one and taken out of the body, the process takes about 10 minutes. It is equivalent to a small minimally invasive surgery, which will be slightly traumatic, but overall safe.

3. Egg freezing

The retrieved eggs are stored in liquid nitrogen at minus 196 degrees Celsius through flash freezing technology, and the recovery rate after egg thawing is about 95%.

▲ Eggs under the microscope

Q: Is it possible to have a successful baby if I freeze my eggs?

A: The egg becomes a child, which is a funnel model that is broken all the way.

The thawing recovery rate of frozen eggs is not 100%, and fertilization is necessary after resuscitation, the fertilization rate may be 40%~50%, and the general success rate of an embryo transfer into the stomach is 30~50%. For an average young woman in her twenties and thirties, it may take 8.5 eggs to become a live child, and for women over 40, 40 eggs to become a child.

▲In Taiwan, only 3% of eggs are thawed and conceived, in the UK, 8% of eggs are successfully thawed and conceived, and in the United States, more than 85% of women who freeze their eggs have never recovered their eggs

Q: How much does egg freezing cost?

A: At present, the cost of egg freezing in the United States is about 100,000 to 150,000 yuan, the cost in Hong Kong is 90,000 to 100,000 yuan, and the cost of egg freezing in Taiwan is about 40,000 to 50,000 yuan. If the indication criteria are met, the medical expenses of public hospitals in China are about 20,000 to 30,000 yuan.

Q: What is your understanding of the "pros" and "cons" of egg freezing?

A: Single egg freezing technically gives women a choice, but there are also many drawbacks. For example, girls are not in a hurry to fall in love, get married, and have children, and the cycle of social generational replacement will be extended, which is not a good thing for social productivity, and will also bring a lot of social upbringing problems such as children's growth and companionship.

But if some women have not decided to become a single mother, but do not want to be childless for the rest of their lives, this is the time to consider getting an egg freeze. If you consider love, marriage, and childbirth separately, you won't be forced to worry or compromise due to the pressure of childbearing time.

To freeze eggs, we should not only consider the current "freezing", but also consider the future "use", and comprehensively consider the future life direction, and then make a decision that will be more prudent. It is recommended that women do not hope for future fertility on egg freezing, and conform to the biological clock of nature, and medicine is only an auxiliary means.

Part of the picture provided by: Xu Zao Zao

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Personal opinion, for reference only