Lin Yutang said:
Blessings do not come from within, but from within.
If a person enjoys true blessings, or all kinds of blessings in the world, he must have the virtue of happiness in order to maintain prosperity.
Virtue is a blessing in the past life, and action is the present life of qi.
In life, if a person wants to be favored by fate, he must cultivate his virtues.
Especially contemporary women, under the gears of the times, their inner strength is strong enough not to be rendered by the world.
If you don't believe it, you can look back and see that those blessed women have more or less these 4 characteristics.
Recently, I watched the TV series "Mature Years", and I was really angry with Wu Erhu played by Song Dandan.
Wu Erhu is the sister-in-law of the Ni family, she smiles at everyone on the surface, but she is calculating behind the scenes, even if it is her family.
In one of them, Wu Erhu's son and daughter-in-law Hongyan planned to buy a house and live alone because their family was too small.
Wu Erhu said in front of Hongyan that she could, but turned around and warned her husband that she must wait for Hongyan to give birth to a child before buying.
Wu Erhu also secretly called Hongyan's mother, suggesting that she would make some sacrifices for the children.
Hongyan's mother loves her daughter so much that she really sold her house and bought a set for her daughter in Yuancheng District, Shanghai.
After Wu Erhu found out, he started thinking again, saying that he wanted to add his son's name.
Because of this incident, the two families had a quarrel, and their son and Hongyan almost divorced.
Wu Erhu often disobeys her, not only her son and husband are dissatisfied with her, but the rest of the Ni family does not want to see her.
On the other hand, Zhang Chunmei, the second sister-in-law of the Ni family, is very different.
Zhang Chunmei and Mrs. Ni have been together for many years, and their relationship has always been very good, like a mother and daughter.
So when she divorced her husband, Zhang Chunmei saw that Mrs. Ni was sent to a nursing home without anyone to take care of, so she took the initiative to take Mrs. Ni back to her home.
Zhang Chunmei took care of Mrs. Ni every day, and Mrs. Ni always looked at it, and later when she made a will, she also included Zhang Chunmei as the heir.
Psychologist Anderson has done a study on "factors influencing interpersonal relationships", and the results show that:
Sincerity is the most beloved personality quality, while hypocrisy, on the contrary, is the most disgusting.
People get along with each other, in fact, there are not so many routines, and heart-to-heart is the best gift.
If you want to accumulate good luck, you have to plant good causes.
Put away the disguise, be sincere, you send warmth to others, and others will return to the sunny day.
Dickens said:
"If you don't do things sincerely, or if you don't want to do it, then even if you have great ability, you won't achieve anything. ”
Yes, sincerity is needed to be a person, and sincerity is also needed to do things.
The size of a person's ability is not the key to determining achievement, but reliability.
Last year, my friend Xue Rui was promoted.
Xue Rui worked in a fashion brand company, and was promoted to marketing director just four years after she entered the company.
To say that Xue Rui's marketing ability is very strong, in fact, it may not be, but she is well-known in the company for her reliability.
When Xue Rui first joined the company, she was an ordinary specialist in the marketing department, doing some inconspicuous work.
But no matter how big or small the matter is, whatever is handed over to Xue Rui, she can basically complete it very well.
If there are some things that can't be completed, Xue Rui will also give a reasonable explanation or alternative plan.
Therefore, later, the company had to cooperate with the magazine to plan the column, and the leader named Xue Rui as an assistant to assist in the whole process.
In order to better understand the magazine, Xue Rui deliberately bought more than a dozen issues of the magazine for research, and also deliberately sorted out some comments on the Internet.
When Xue Rui handed these materials to the leader, the leader was a little surprised and gave her a thumbs up.
Sometimes, Xue Rui also makes mistakes, but she never shirks responsibility.
For example, once, Xue Rui took leave due to illness and did not proofread the marketing plan, and the customer was very angry when he saw a typo in the plan.
Xue Rui listened to the leader's criticism and apologized sincerely, and her colleagues asked her why she didn't say that she was on sick leave?
Xue Rui replied: "I am responsible for this matter, if I don't do it well, I don't do it well, and I don't need to find a reason." ”
There's a good saying:
"Reliability is a scarce quality, often with its own safety attributes. Get along with reliable people, no suspicion, no worries. ”
It's reassuring, and it's worth a thousand dollars.
Especially in the workplace, you may not pay much attention to human feelings, but you definitely pay attention to character.
People who do things reliably can not only make people feel at ease, but also give feedback in a timely manner.
While improving efficiency, it also reduces each other's energy consumption, and there is no need to shirk each other's responsibilities.
The adult world should be simple and efficient.
You are less tactful, I am more calm, and getting things done is better than all tricks.
On Weibo, there is a hot topic #People who are emotionally stable are really a plus#, and netizens have expressed their approval.
The reality is that way.
People who are emotionally stable are like a rainbow after the rain, even if they wade through the wind and rain, they can laugh at life.
Blogger @一Handsomepony shared her experience with her mother.
A few days ago, Pony had just bought a bag of popsicles and was about to drive home with his mother, but his mother found that the car broke down and couldn't catch fire.
My mother called the 4S store, and the 4S store said that because it was busy, the rescue time might be longer.
Mom had planned to leave the car on the side of the road, but found that the windows and doors would not be locked.
Worried that the popsicle had melted, the pony looked at his mother, thinking that his mother would lose her temper, but her mother smiled and said, "Then let's eat it quickly!"
Pony and Mom happily eat a few sticks, and Mom leisurely goes to the roadside barber shop to cut her hair.
Mom and the barber talked about the car not catching fire, and there was no anger or complaining between the words, and there was talk and laughter throughout the whole process.
After my mother cut her hair, the maintenance staff of the 4S shop arrived in a hurry, and after the inspection, she said that she couldn't fix it and wanted to tow the car back to the store.
After hearing this, the mother still acted like no one else, and took the pony home, and when she got home, she slept soundly.
The pony looked at his mother the whole time and couldn't help but sigh:
"It feels like a few hours of experience is ordinary, but it's a little fantastical, and maybe it's the ideal world for emotional stability. ”
Emotional stability is the best antidote to the impermanence of life.
There is a passage in the book "Acting as an Emotionally Stable Adult Every Day":
Whether we like it or not, trouble is inevitable, and whether we like it or not, we will come back in the future.
But as long as you live, then everything is "to be continued".
A lot of times, instead of really being stumped by things, we're trapped by our own emotions.
People who are emotionally stable know how to deal with them calmly when they encounter bad situations, so that the anger can be slowly extinguished.
When there is less anger and gloom in life, it will naturally be blessed and the sky will be clear.
Not long ago, I saw a video of Lu Yu interviewing actor Wu Yanshu.
Wu Yanshu said that she is 84 years old and currently lives alone and does not need to be taken care of by her daughter.
Every time she goes out for work or travel, she books air tickets and hotels by herself, and takes a taxi to the hospital when she is sick on weekdays.
Once, Wu Yanshu had a fever of 40 degrees and still went to the hospital alone, and only told her daughter after she was better.
Some people may think that Wu Yanshu's children are unfilial, but in fact, Wu Yanshu likes her relatively independent state and does not let her daughter interfere.
She has always been like this, not dependent on her husband when she was young, and not dependent on her daughter when she is old.
Even though Wu Yanshu is now in her 80s, she still travels between various crews, and the longest rest time is only about ten days each time.
Wu Yanshu basically doesn't cause trouble to others in the crew.
There is a crew, because there is a scene to be filmed on a dirt slope, the crew is worried that it will be inconvenient for Wu Yanshu to go up and down, and is ready to dig some steps.
Wu Yanshu ran up by herself, she said: "If you can do it, try to do it yourself." ”
Perhaps, this is the reason why Wu Yanshu has always been respected and appreciated by the audience.
An independent-minded woman will radiate light from her body at all times.
The English writer Elias Canetti said, "Everyone has to have his own fire, and a fire borrowed from someone else is incomplete." ”
Only by having your own flame in your heart can you illuminate a bright tomorrow.
Whether a woman is poor or rich, she must first be independent in her mind and have the backbone of not being attached to others.
Because, money can be earned at any time, but it is difficult to pick up if the backbone is lost.
Grasp the initiative in life, and build the ideal garden with your own hands.
Every brick and tile, every flower and tree, is the trust and respect you give yourself.
The so-called blessing is never an innate blessing, but an acquired blessing.
Don't worry that fate will forget you, it has been silently watching you.
You just have to take the road under your feet seriously, be sincere, and do things reliably, and the outcome will naturally not treat you badly.
If sometimes fate plays a joke on you, don't be in a hurry not to be mad and irritable, this is the test it gives you.
You just need to smile at the wind and rain, stick to your choice, and live every little day.
Maybe in a casual moment, blessings will come quietly and have a surprise ready for you.
Just like the poet Gu Cheng wants to tell us:
Don't avoid everything that started in order to avoid a potentially bad outcome.