Two years ago, because of an oolong, Chen Daoming was misreported on the Internet
For ordinary people, it is inevitable to be annoyed, but Chen Daoming's attitude towards life and death has always been open-minded.
I remember he said in an interview:
"Actually, everyone is running to death every second. If these two hours of conversation are pleasant, these two hours are worth it, this death consumption is worth it. "
Yes, everyone is running to death, and the process is worth it.
is like what is written in "Walking to the Edge of Life": "The future of the elderly is illness and death." ”
When you are old, lying in the hospital bed, it is difficult for your children to be filial piety, and it is difficult for you to enjoy more of your net worth, no matter how rich you are.
Since some things are destined to be inevitable, you might as well try to take life and death as easy in a limited time, and live a worthwhile life.
Listen to the stories of the following three old people, and maybe you will find out:
At the end of life, the most reliable thing is yourself, and what you should learn as soon as possible is the way to spend the rest of your life and the attitude towards death.
01
Chen Sikou, wife of a professor at Peking University:
I maintain my own health and relieve my troubles, and rarely seek medical advice
In 2017, an elderly man died at the age of 96 when he insisted on fasting on his own accompanied by his children.
She is the wife of the famous professor Zhao Baoxu, Chen Sikou, a teacher at Beijing 101 Middle School.
In the two or three years before her death, a reporter asked her what her goals were in her later years.
Teacher Chen smiled and said, "First, I want to have less pain and live a healthier and happier life.
Second, in the last stage of my life, I want to go faster so as not to be a burden to others. ”
She fulfilled her purpose in life.
As early as the age of 70, Ms. Chen was ready to die at any time.
She repeatedly told her children not to resuscitate her if she fell ill or could not take care of herself.
In the face of her children's incomprehension and persuasion, Ms. Chen said: "I have no regrets, now I only want to live one day to have a quality life, even if I leave tomorrow, I have to live a quality life today." ”
Indeed, struggling to breathe and dying in a hospital bed can be described as worse than death for an old man.
With such a mentality, Mr. Chen lives a full life, reading books and newspapers every day, exercising for health, buying vegetables and cooking, and living a full life.
Physically, until I was in my 90s, I still rarely saw a doctor, and if I had any headaches, brain fever, backache, etc., I improved them through dietary therapy, massage, and lifestyle changes.
Spiritually, she is not as overly eager for the company of her children as many elderly people, but she doesn't want her children to come often.
I am afraid of space at home, so I often turn on the TV, as if there is always someone to talk to and sing to myself, so that people do not feel lonely.
I was afraid that my days would be too idle, so I made a good study plan, cared about current affairs and politics every day, explored literature, philosophy, astronomy and geography, drama and sports, and enriched myself every day, but I never became depressed.
It's up to you to stay healthy, and it's up to you to get rid of loneliness.
As Mr. Chen said:
"My experience is that the body is my own. Only you know the pain and itch best, exercise and fitness can only rely on your own persistence, and mental health can only be adjusted by yourself. ”
Life is like this, just as a person drinks water, he knows his own warmth and coldness.
But people always have a sense of dependence, and they are accustomed to seeking outwards, seeking medical advice and medicine to cure diseases, and begging their children to accompany them to warm their hearts, but after all, they can only treat the symptoms, and it is difficult to get rid of the lesions.
But I don't know that only by seeking inward and relying on internal drive can we truly improve the quality of life.
Combined with Mr. Chen's self-report, I have extracted some lifestyles and attitudes towards life to share with you.
1. To have medical and health care knowledge, the best health care doctor is yourself.
How old a person can live a healthy life depends on genetics, lifestyle habits, exercise and health.
Learn more about medical and health care knowledge and understand your physical condition in order to continue your health as long as possible.
In many cases, the doctor can only help you with headaches and pains, and you have to be the person who knows your condition best.
2. Have perseverance and do what you should do, not just what you like.
For the elderly, many things need to be done more consistently.
Daily chores such as grocery shopping, cooking, washing dishes, and taking a walk will inevitably be tiring.
But once you don't do it, you may never be able to do it again.
It is a great blessing for people to be able to take care of themselves in their old age.
3. There must be spiritual pursuit and cultural life.
The elderly should love life, care about current affairs, be open-minded and feel comfortable.
In this way, it is not easy to collapse in case of trouble, and it is more able to withstand illness.
Learn more and think more, build your own independent spiritual world, and slowly overcome the fear of death.
Once the elderly are "not afraid of death," they will immediately live happily, but if they cannot overcome it, they will inevitably be anxious all day long, and they will be more likely to be depressed.
With spiritual pursuit and cultural life, life in later years can become a pool of living water, and fresh ideas and knowledge will flow into it at all times.
02
Peking University grandmother Zhu Jinqin:
Dispose of your own property and do not want to trouble future generations
In 2023, an 86-year-old man with the screen name "Fleshy Ageless Pine" publicly shared his "death" arrangement online.
She is Zhu Jinqin, a "sober grandmother" who graduated from Peking University School of Medicine and has made great contributions to the prevention and treatment of infectious diseases in the mainland.
After retiring, she likes to shoot videos on the Internet to tell the stories and insights of her life.
In one of the videos arranging "afterlife", she said open-mindedly that as early as 2020, she sold the small house she had saved all her life.
She has done her homework, and after the unexpected death of the elderly, her children have to go through a lot of troublesome processes to handle the inheritance and transfer of real estate.
So she decisively disposed of the house and turned it into cash for convenient consumption and distribution.
After his wife passed away, Zhu Jinqin personally went through the relevant procedures.
Because the husband and wife were colleagues and served as public officials together in Qinghai, Zhu Jinqin needed to return to his original unit to receive pensions and funeral expenses.
When she returned to her original unit, she was relieved to find that she still knew the people up and down.
But then she thought that after a hundred years, she would let her children go to a different place to handle it, not to mention that she was not familiar with the place, and she would have to delay her work.
For this, she thought of a good idea.
She set up a small group with her colleagues in the unit and her daughter, entrusted her colleagues to handle all the formalities on her behalf, and finally transferred the money to her daughter.
In fact, these things are not too difficult to do during life, and it is also a good thing to leave some property subsidies for children.
But if you are not careful, let your children run five, six, seven or eight departments, and wait for a year and a half The process has become a kind of constraint.
Zhu Jinqin wrote a guide for his children to help them take care of their own affairs.
Here are some suggestions for your reference based on this "guide" and related materials.
1. It is better to give money before death than to keep money after death. When the elderly are alive, they can distribute part of their property to their descendants from time to time in the form of birthday red envelopes, living expenses, care expenses, etc.
On the one hand, direct gift is more convenient than inheritance process;
On the other hand, if you are generous in your life, you can still get a sense of gratitude from your children and grandchildren, and no matter how much inheritance you leave after you die, your children and grandchildren will inevitably feel that they deserve it.
2. For social security, salary, pension and other procedures, if it is convenient for the children, they can teach the children to handle the process in advance;
3. Houses and cars in the name of the elderly that are inconvenient to inherit can be sold or transferred in advance before their deaths. Bank card passwords, mobile payment passwords, etc., can also be recorded in paper or electronic archives in advance.
4. If you have some special wishes, you can provide a feasible process in advance.
For example, there is an old man downstairs who is about to turn 100 years old, and he has always hoped to be buried in the sea when he dies. To this end, he inquired about the process and cost of sea burial with the city's funeral service center as early as possible, and solemnly wrote this wish in his will.
5. Do a good job in the archiving and continuation of digital life. Nowadays, the Internet is developed, and many elderly people have their own accounts for posting texts, pictures and videos, etc., and most of these accounts will be slowly recycled after not logging in.
Therefore, it is advisable to set up an archive as early as possible and record your account number and password, so that your children and grandchildren can review it from time to time and think about it often.
03
Gu Quanping, an elderly man who was "reborn" with cancer:
Leave no regrets in life and experience life bravely
In 2015, a 70-year-old man suffering from cancer jumped from a height of 4,000 meters with a parachute on his back.
His name is Gu Quanping, an ordinary farmer in Yancheng, Jiangsu.
Just a few years ago, Gu Quanping was diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer in Chongqing, and in the following two years, Gu Quanping was repeatedly treated, but his condition still did not improve.
Seeing his father being tortured by illness, Gu Quanping's youngest son Gu Yi was distressed.
Gu Yi knew that his father had a wish to go to a distant place to see the sea.
For this reason, Gu Yi decided to interrupt the treatment and take Gu Quanping and his wife to travel abroad.
At that time, no one knew that this trip would bring Gu Quanping back to life.
During the 88-day trip, Gu Quanping first went to the South Pacific to pick up jellyfish and sea cucumbers, and then offered these seafood to his wife like a treasure;
When he visited the University of Queensland, he showed off the guitar he had just learned during his trip to the students, which won a round of applause.
The trip coincided with the wedding anniversary of Gu Quanping and his wife, so Gu Yi took his parents to the Great Barrier Reef, the holy land of skydiving, to help his parents remember their love with an exciting skydive.
On the day of the anniversary, Gu Quanping used the wildflowers he picked to weave a wreath and confessed his affection to his lover, thanking her for her unwavering and careful care.
In this way, he experienced new things all the way, filled in with his past regrets all the way, and after more than two months, Gu Quanping, who returned to his homeland, miraculously improved, and recovered completely after a few years.
This incident once caused a sensation on the whole network, and it touched and inspired countless people.
Many people say that experiencing life bravely without regrets like this may be the best way to live.
It is true that as ordinary people, it is not easy to travel to the other side of the world, but we can try to start small things and experience life that we have never experienced before.
There was an activity on the Internet called "Warm Ocean Line" for the elderly, which listened to and collected the voices of tens of millions of retired seniors.
Here are 50 small things that are suitable for seniors to experience, so you might as well pick out your favorite ones and give them a try.
50 little things for seniors to experience
1. Try the foods that young people love to eat;
2. Play games with young people;
3. Participate in voluntary tree planting and leave a gift for the earth;
4. Learn 10 hot words on the Internet;
5. Learn a musical instrument;
6. Learn a new song;
7. Start trying to chase stars;
8. Register a social platform account;
9. Shoot a short video;
10. Listen to a live concert;
11. Go back to your alma mater and have a look;
12. Return to the place where you lived in childhood;
13. Go back to the place where you worked back then;
14. Complete a wish that was not fulfilled when I was young;
15. Give a gift to a friend who has been with you;
16. Attend a gathering of young friends;
17. Visiting a good friend;
18. Participate in a sports meeting;
19. Take a set of fashionable and good-looking photos;
20. Record your life experiences;
21. Learn a new skill;
22. Teach others a skill;
23. Learn anti-fraud knowledge;
24. Register for university courses for the elderly;
25. Make a new friend of different ages or countries;
26. Learn garbage classification;
27. Raise an obedient pet;
28. Do a full body physical examination;
29. Go by car;
30. Go to a nursing home;
31. Make a charitable donation;
32. Volunteer once;
33. Go to a dream travel place;
34. Participate in a contest or record a TV program;
35. Go to Tiananmen Square once;
36. Take a look at the birthplace of the Yangtze River and the Yellow River;
37. Open a solo exhibition;
38. Get a medal;
39. Record every bit of your progress;
40. Give yourself a gift;
41. Take a family photo;
42. Make a handicraft for your children and grandchildren;
43. Take a look at where your children go to work;
44. Dance with your wife;
45. Make breakfast for the family;
46. Go back to the countryside and get a comfortable courtyard;
47. Organize family photo albums;
48. Write a family tree/family biography;
49. Play mahjong with your family;
50. Write a letter to your children with the help of artificial intelligence.
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The most transparent way to live in my heart is as Feng Zikai said:
"Take the right path, let go of the unintentional hand, make friends with the way, cut off the friends of the unrighteous, drink the pure tea, abstain from the wine of the flowers, open the door of convenience, and close the mouth of right and wrong. ”
Everything goes with the flow, when things are calm, when you are proud, when you are frustrated, when you are calm, when you are hard, and you will be able to experience all the vicissitudes of life.
In this way, the years are leisurely and life is pleasant.