The first rays of sunlight in the morning shine through the cracks in the curtains and onto the bedroom floor. I was deep asleep when I was suddenly awakened by a rapid ringing of my mobile phone.
I fumbled to pick up my phone, and my son's name was displayed on the screen.
I pressed the answer button, and my son's voice carried a hint of urgency: "Mom, today is the day to pay the mortgage, I am a little short of money, can you lend me some money?"
I rubbed my sleepy eyes, mixed emotions welling up in my heart.
I took a deep breath and replied, "Xiao Xu, I have resigned a long time ago, and now I don't have a stable income, so I can't help you." You have to learn to solve problems on your own. ”
On the other end of the phone, the son's voice suddenly became sharp: "What? How can you do this? You don't think about your children, whether we live or die, it's too selfish!"
I was stunned, and an unspeakable pain welled up in my heart. I think back to decades ago, when I was a young mother raising my son with hope. I worked hard to give him a better future. However, as time passed, the son gradually became dependent and no longer grateful.
I sighed and continued, "Lin Xu, you are already an adult and need to learn to be independent. Your dad and I have tried our best to give you the best, but that doesn't mean you can rely on us all the time. The mortgage is your own commitment and your responsibility. ”
The son did not give up, and his voice was full of anger: "You know this, what will you do when you get old? Don't you need us to take care of it? If you don't help us now, what if my wife doesn't provide for you when you're old?"
I felt extremely disappointed that my son was actually threatening me with a pension.
I replied firmly: "Lin Xu, your father and I have already discussed it, and we have decided not to help you with your financial problems anymore. It's not a punishment, it's a wish that you'll be self-reliant. ”
With that, I hung up. My son didn't give up yet, and sent me more than a dozen text messages, hoping that I would help him continue to pay off the mortgage, I turned off my mobile phone directly, and lay in the bed but I didn't feel sleepy, recalling the past.
My name is Liu Jing and I am 59 years old. I was born on November 24, 1964 in a small county town in Hunan Province.
My parents were down-to-earth farmers who farmed for a living and earned a small income. I have three siblings, four of us, and we have all grown up living in poverty. Due to the poor family conditions, I did not study for a few years, which became the regret of my life.
In 1986, I was introduced to a farmer from the same village, who was my husband. We got married very quickly, and although our married life was poor, it was stable.
In the third year, we had a son, and my life revolved around him from then on. Like all mothers, I put all my love and hope in my son.
However, in 1996, when my son was seven years old, a sudden flood swept through our home, and we had to face the harsh reality that we had to go out to work in order to support our family.
With a heavy heart, my husband and I entrusted our son to my in-laws and embarked on the road to work.
The days of part-time work are full of hardships and difficulties. We do the hardest and most tiring work in the city, live in the most humble houses, and eat the simplest meals.
My husband and I went out early and returned late every day, and we sacrificed almost all our rest time in order to earn a little more money.
I remember one time, I was moving bricks on a construction site and I had blood blisters on my hands, but I didn't stop because I knew I couldn't stop.
"Mother-in-law, if you continue to do this, your body will be unbearable. My husband looked at my scarred hands and said distressedly.
"It's okay, what's this hardship, as long as I can earn more money and make my son and parents live a better life, I'm willing to do anything. I smiled and comforted him, even though I had mixed feelings.
In addition to moving bricks on the construction site, I also worked as a cleaner, helped people wash clothes, and even sold vegetables in the wet market. In every job, I do my best and dare not slack off. I know that every bit of effort I make can make a difference in my family's life.
Once, I was working part-time at a restaurant, washing dishes and cleaning. The owner of the restaurant is very harsh and often finds fault with the deduction of wages. Once, because a bowl was not cleaned, the boss scolded me in front of everyone.
"You come from the countryside, you can't even wash a bowl, what else can you do?" the boss scolded me, pointing at my nose.
I kept my head down and didn't dare say a word. I know that I can't lose this job, and I have to endure no matter how much I am wronged.
In this way, we have been working outside for more than 20 years and have endured all the hardships. Every time I think of my son, I feel a little comforted. However, we also neglected our son's academic performance.
The doting on my grandson by my in-laws, coupled with our long-term absence, has caused my son to be very slack in his studies and his grades have been unsatisfactory. In 2007, his son took the college entrance examination and was only admitted to an ordinary three-book university.
My son's college entrance examination results are undoubtedly a heavy blow to me. I felt so guilty and guilty. I often wonder if I could have stayed by my son's side and cared more about his studies, would he have had better grades?
After my son graduated from college, I found myself in a paradoxical situation. On the one hand, I am proud of his growth and education, and on the other hand, I am concerned about his professional attitude.
He always seemed to be ambitious, unwilling to work overtime, with high expectations of wages, and even unwilling to do manual labor, believing that it was not in keeping with his college student status. I tried to have a conversation with him, hoping that he would be a little more realistic, but each conversation ended in his rebuttal and impatience.
"Son, you can't always pick and choose. I tried to persuade him, "It's hard to find a job right now, you have to have a starting point." ”
"Mom, I've been studying for so many years, not to do those low-paying, unpromising jobs!" he retorted, with obvious displeasure in his tone.
I sighed and continued, "I know you have your own ideals, but the reality is cruel. You have to have a job first, and then slowly look for better opportunities. ”
"I'd rather not work than do those jobs!" he said firmly, and then turned and left the room, leaving me alone in the drawing-room in contemplation.
Still, I hope he will find a job as soon as possible, but as time goes by, he still hasn't found a suitable job.
I had to continue to work, support my family, and at the same time pay his rent. I consoled myself that as long as he got married, he would become more mature and maybe be better able to face reality.
In 2014, the son finally got married. The woman's family asked for a bride price of 150,000 yuan and bought a house in a big city. It's a heavy burden for us, and we simply can't afford to come up with that much money. We tried to communicate with our in-laws, hoping that they would be accommodating, but the in-laws' attitude was very resolute and there was no room for negotiation.
"Dad, Mom, I won't marry Dong Qian!" the son said firmly, his eyes full of determination.
We had no choice but to borrow money from relatives and friends, scrape together, and finally scrape together the money so that our son could get married. On the day of the wedding, I looked at their happy appearance, and my heart was mixed. I was both happy about their happiness and worried about the burden that was coming.
Soon after the marriage, the daughter-in-law gave birth to a son and a daughter, which added new joy to our family, but also brought more responsibility. My husband and I not only have to take care of our grandchildren, but we also have to help them with household chores, while at the same time continuing to work and earn money to support them.
Every day, I spend it busy. In the morning, I prepare breakfast for my grandchildren and then take them to kindergarten. When I get home, I have to start doing the housework, doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, all the same. In the afternoon, I would pick up my grandchildren from school and play with them until they fell asleep in the evening.
Last June, my life changed dramatically. When the old man reached the age of retirement, he was supposed to enjoy his old age, but because of years of overwork, he suddenly fell seriously ill.
During his hospitalization, I was almost the sole breadwinner of the family, busy taking care of the old man and taking care of the affairs of the family.
However, what pained me the most was that my son and daughter-in-law seemed to be indifferent to the old man's condition, and they didn't go to the hospital much, and their attitude made the old man feel extremely cold.
"How can they do this?" the old man lay on the hospital bed, looking at the ceiling, his voice weak but full of disappointment: "I always thought that my son would be our support in our old age. ”
I held his hand, and I didn't know how to comfort him. I could only stay by his side silently and do what I could to alleviate his pain.
As the old man's condition gradually improved, he began to insist on returning to his hometown to retire and stay away from the city that made him sad. I know that he has lost faith in his son and feels that he is unreliable.
"Let's go back to our hometown," the old man said to me, "I don't see any hope here." ”
I understood his feelings, but I was conflicted. I knew that if I also left, my son and daughter-in-law would face even greater difficulties. Their lives are hard enough, and I can't bear to burden them any more.
However, when I told my son and daughter-in-law about this decision, their reaction was beyond my expectations. They were so angry that they even got into an argument with us.
"How can you do this?" said the son, excitedly, "we need your help too!"
The daughter-in-law also echoed on the side, her eyes full of tears: "Mom, you are gone, what should we do?"
In the face of their crying and complaining, I relented. I looked at the old man, and his eyes were full of determination, and I knew that he had made up his mind. Eventually, the old man left alone, and I stayed behind and continued to work to subsidize them.
After the old man left, my life became even more difficult. Not only do I have to go to work every day to earn money to support them, but I also have to take on more household chores. Every day, I was busy with little time for myself, and my health was getting worse and worse.
A month ago, the arrival of my mother-in-law made me feel an unprecedented gap. She lived here for a month, and during this time, her son and daughter-in-law and grandchildren revolved around her, and it seemed that all the attention and care of the family was poured into her. And I'm still busy, but no one cares about my hard work.
One day, I overheard my daughter-in-law promise to give her mother-in-law 2,000 yuan in alimony every month. The dissatisfaction and disappointment in my heart reached its peak.
"Qianqian, I heard that you promised to give your mother 2,000 yuan a month in alimony. "I try to keep my tone as calm as possible, and I hope to communicate well.
The daughter-in-law obviously didn't expect me to bring up this topic, she was stunned for a moment, and then said with some displeasure: "Yes, what's wrong?
"I just think I can understand that you buy things for your mother and give alimony. I took a deep breath and continued, "But, have you ever thought about the financial pressure at home right now......"
The daughter-in-law's face sank, and her voice became sharp: "What's wrong with the pressure? Isn't there still your son? It's his business to make money to support the family, and as a daughter, shouldn't I honor my mother?"
The more we quarreled, the more fierce it became, and I thought of my daughter-in-law's double-standard attitude towards me and my mother-in-law, and I was very uncomfortable, and asked my daughter-in-law why she should be treated differently.
But the daughter-in-law refused: "How can you compare my mother to you? My mother raised me to send me to school, how much did she pay for me, and what did you do for me?"
I was stunned, I didn't expect my daughter-in-law to say this. I have given so much for this family, but I have not received the respect and gratitude I deserve, and I feel unprecedented loss and loneliness.
"Qianqian, what I did for this family, can't you really see it?" My voice began to tremble, "I take care of your children, do housework, and even subsidize the family, can't you see this?"
The daughter-in-law was unmoved: "That's your willingness, I didn't force you, besides, that's your granddaughter, you are helping your son and not helping me, why do you want me to repay you?"
This conversation did not solve anything, but made me feel the double standard and indifference of my daughter-in-law. I realized that the old man's chill was not unreasonable. I have given so much for this family, but I have not received the respect and gratitude I deserve.
I quit my job, packed up my things and returned to my hometown, intending to live an idyllic life with the old man and stop working for my children and grandchildren. In my hometown, I grew vegetables and raised chickens with the old man, enjoying a simple and peaceful life. Although it was still hard physically, I felt more peaceful and satisfying mentally.
As for the son and daughter-in-law, since they only have their own parents in their eyes, then they can rely on their own hard work, since we can't count on them to provide for the elderly, then we will no longer blindly pay for them.
(The story material is provided by the people around the author, and the love is responsible for sorting it out.) If you'd like to share your story, please let us know. ）