It's not a family, it's not a door.
The in-laws are relatives who came out halfway, and they are closer than ordinary relatives.
In particular, some in-laws who live very close to each other not only gather during the New Year's holidays, but also travel together in normal times, and take care of each other if they have difficulties.
When we go to work, we interact less with our in-laws, and we want to walk around more with our in-laws after we retire.
But if you think about it, you will find that some in-laws don't speculate for more than half a sentence.
Usually, low-level in-laws often say the following things, and high-level in-laws are tight-lipped.
01
"Why is your salary lower than mine": always showing off wealth and triumphant.
In the workplace, many people like to climb high and step low. With the help of the power of the heights, you can bring yourself up and get a better income.
But when you retire, it is not easy to bring the rules of the workplace to your life.
They are all retired and elderly, and they are treated equally.
If you want to divide it into three, six, nine and so on, it is to exalt yourself and be suspected of deliberately harming others.
The in-laws ask you how much is the pension. You answer truthfully. The in-laws immediately said, "Much lower than me", with a triumphant look.
You suddenly feel bad, as if you haven't worked hard all your life.
Showing off money is obviously a manifestation of a very low mental level, but the other party doesn't think it.
02
"Your child's habits are very bad": habitually protecting shortcomings and belittling the other child.
Children have been married for many years, sons and daughters-in-law, sons-in-law and daughters, there will definitely be small conflicts, and they will all reach the ears of both parents.
It is impossible to tell which is right and which is wrong. Roosters quarrel, head to head, husband and wife quarrel without holding grudges. It is only right to forget some small contradictions.
If your in-laws always say that your children are not good here, not right there, these questions are basically heard by your in-laws from their own children.
The in-laws say how good their children are, and how bad your children are, which is very heart-wrenching and short-term protection.
In fact, even if it is a young couple, after many years, there will be a gap. After all, family, marriage, and life levels are not static.
If every in-law family protects their shortcomings, it will be a few old people who are in the small family of their children together, making a lot of trouble.
High-level in-laws, put down the contradictions between the young couple, let the young couple deal with it themselves, and don't say it to outsiders. On many occasions, he also said that his children were wrong and hoped that the other party would tolerate them.
03
"At the beginning, my child had no vision": turning over old accounts at any time, causing all kinds of unpleasantness.
Aunt Liu, who is in the same village as me, often says: "My son, I don't have a vision, the girl who doesn't want a penny bride price, and still sticks a house upside down, don't want a woman who wants a bride price of more than 100,000 yuan." ”
Speaking of this, Aunt Liu was angry. When I saw my in-laws, I felt that he was an enemy, a person who came to collect debts.
I don't want to think about it, my son has been married for more than ten years, and I still have to talk about the bride price, which is not a rehash of the same old tune.
Besides, the daughter-in-law is also very competitive, with an annual income of more than 100,000 yuan. Why are you sorry for this bride price?
In fact, if we were to dig through old accounts, we could find out seven or eight things in a minute.
High-level people, who are not to blame in the past, will remain silent and switch topics when the other party is turning over old accounts.
A good family must carry forward the past and forge ahead into the future, and not find out the rotten sesame seeds of Chen Guzi in the past.
04
"During the holidays, what gifts do your children give you": always compare filial piety, afraid that you will suffer.
As the saying goes, "People are more angry than people." ”
He also said, "Filial piety is no better than brother." ”
How children are filial to their parents should not be compared.
As a young couple, they will take into account the situation: "What hobbies do both parents have, what needs do they have, and what is their financial situation." Then decide what gift to give, or give a red envelope, etc. ”
For parents with good family backgrounds, there should be less icing on the cake, and for poor parents, it should be a relief in the snow. It is impossible to give exactly the same gift.
If you get more gifts from your children, show them to your in-laws, who are very uncomfortable, and if you don't have gifts, you are belittling yourself.
Remember the truth that "filial piety is priceless".
Children give anything and accept it with open heart. If your in-laws get something, don't ask about it, it's also a priceless filial piety.
05
"The incident in your family is so embarrassing": exposing the scandal of the other party's family is like revealing a scar.
A big family has several children, so there are also several in-laws. When the children get married, they have several small families.
When your in-laws know about your family, they will naturally know how your other children are doing.
Suppose your daughter is married, but your son is forty years old and not married. The in-laws ridiculed you, "There is no way to raise children". You're embarrassed.
If after you retire, your wife is still messing with flowers and grass, and your in-laws know about it, you will be ridiculed in all kinds of ways, and you will not be able to live.
Every family has ugliness, but don't expose it.
Everyone knows that "family ugliness is not publicized", and don't let other people's family ugliness become your own talking point.
06
"Your level of bringing a baby is too poor": If you don't bring a baby, you still dislike the other party for not doing well.
When you retire, you have more opportunities to take care of your baby.
Some in-laws don't bring a baby by themselves, and they also say how bad it is for the other party to bring a baby.
"The authorities are fascinated, and the bystanders are clear", the in-laws see you with the baby, he is a bystander, of course, he is right.
In fact, there is no credit and hard work in bringing a baby. It can't be said that whoever is perfect.
Moreover, the views of the baby are not the same, and it cannot be said that a certain point of view is absolutely wrong.
For the two in-laws in different regions, there is even more gap between the views and habits of bringing a baby. We should be inclusive.
It's all for the smooth growth of the baby, or more support, and teach each other the best way.
07
The ancients said: "Don't be stupid, don't be deaf, don't be a family." ”
When you get along with your family, you must control your mouth well to avoid disasters coming out of your mouth.
Think about it, if there are constant conflicts between in-laws, and they quarrel once they meet, how can young couples live?
When you are retired, you have to live a comfortable life and help your children as much as possible.
If necessary, help your in-laws, then you will truly treat each other as family. One family, don't talk two families.
In-laws, relatives, parents, grandparents, grandparents, ordinary people, when the identity is correct, the speech will be smooth.
If the relationship between the in-laws and the family is not very good, then keep your distance, silence is golden.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.