Lead
Since the release of the second and third children, many young couples in one-child families are often spawned by the elderly.
For the elderly, the boy can inherit the family business in the future, the first child is a daughter, and the second child is a boy, just enough to "have both children and daughters".
Especially in the family where the second child is still a girl, the elderly on both sides are more obsessed with "boys", and in their hearts, "a son and a daughter" is the greatest blessing.
If it is a two-woman family and there are no boys in the family, they always have no confidence in their hearts, and they always feel faceless in front of others.
The reason why the older generation of old people value boys is because the previous environment was different, in the old days, the more men in the family, the more income, as an elder, even more proud.
However, the times are different now, the economic status of women is gradually improving, women can also go to the city to work, the era of farming to support the family has passed, and women can also earn money to support the family and hold up half of the family.
Many post-80s women have given birth to a second or third child, and now the main force of childbirth is the post-90s.
Women born in the 90s, especially girls who grew up in families with both children, have different views on having children, and the sadness they have experienced on the way to growth makes them more inclined to have daughters, and would rather have two daughters than "have both children".
I'd rather have two daughters than have both children, and the choice of young mothers born in the 90s is very real
My colleague Xiaozi is a post-90s generation, and after three years of marriage, she hugged both of them, and they were all girls. At the beginning, her mother-in-law and her mother persuaded her to give birth to a second child and make up a "good" word, so that she had children, but the second child she gave birth to was still a girl.
The old man said that he was worried about her old age, but in fact he still wanted a boy, she categorically refused, she would rather have 2 daughters, and she didn't want to have three more children for "both children and daughters".
When she saw that in a family with a boy, the husband and wife had to work hard to earn money and prepare a house, a car and a dowry for their son, she felt very fortunate that she had given birth to daughters.
The daughter is not only intimate and sensible, but also the parents do not have to worry about the marriage of their children in their later years, and the pressure is less.
1. Both children and daughters, daughters are easy to become the demon or "brother demon"
In the TV series "Ode to Joy", Fan Shengmei originally had a decent job and a stable income, but because she had a mother who spoiled her brother without learning and having no bottom line, she was the most miserable person among the four sisters.
Every money she earned was remitted to her mother, and her mother used it to support her brother's family.
She is responsible for her brother's house, down payment and loan, and her brother is not doing his job properly and causing trouble everywhere, and she has to be coerced by her mother every time to deal with the aftermath for her brother.
My brother has a child, and my mother has to find her to get money to raise the child, and she has spent all her daughter's savings and salary, and her mother is not satisfied, so she will only cry and call her to borrow money from her colleagues, and she doesn't care about her daughter at all, and her daughter has no money in her hand, and the situation will be even more difficult.
Because of her parents' partiality, Fan Shengmei did not feel the warmth of the family, and she desperately wanted a home of her own.
She has no ability, she can only rely on her boyfriend, but her boyfriend's mother is afraid that her family will continue to drag her down, even if she buys a house, her boyfriend refuses to write her name on the real estate certificate, and the two break up unhappily.
Every girl is forced to become a "brother demon" or "brother demon", there are parents behind the can't figure it out, girls grow up in such a family, some people don't want to "have both children and daughters" when they grow up, and they don't want their daughters to experience such grievances again.
Second, both children are complete, and parents are more partial to boys
There was a forum on which there was a question, "What moments made you feel that your parents were particularly partial?", which sparked heated discussions among netizens, including the experience of one netizen, which made people sympathetic.
When she was born, because she was a daughter, she couldn't get her father's love, and her mother kept her, not because of love, but just to let her take care of her younger brother.
Obviously, she has reached the age of elementary school, but her father bluntly said that he would not let her go to school if he had money, and only wanted her to help with housework and farm work at home, and he wanted to keep the money for his son to study, and his son would provide for him in the future.
After the birth of her younger brother, her status in the family was even lower, and her parents did not want her to continue her education, not only took away her scholarship, but also tried in vain to prevent her from taking the high school entrance examination.
Just because she is not a boy and has been treated unfairly by many parents since she was a child. In families with children, unless the parents are open-minded, girls are easily oppressed, and parents favor boys, and girls will be left out in the cold and will not feel the love of their parents.
3. A two-woman family, where two daughters can support each other
A two-woman family is different from a two-daughter family because there are no boys in the family, and it is easier for parents to treat their two daughters equally.
If parents can treat their two daughters equally and do things fairly, there will be no resentment against each other, the daughters are each other's good playmates when they are young, they can help each other in their studies, and their daughters will be more worry-free.
The daughter will marry in the future, but the boy will provide for the old man, and the old man feels that it is reasonable to give the property to the son.
If the two children of the old man are daughters, there will be no property disputes, so that the two daughters will get along more harmoniously, and when the daughter grows up, she will also become a mother, and under empathy, the two will be more considerate of each other and willing to support each other.
Fourth, in a two-daughter family, parents are happier in their later years
Aunt Tong gave birth to two daughters, and although her in-laws always wanted a grandson, her husband insisted on not letting his wife get pregnant again.
Aunt Tong was pregnant with twin daughters, not only premature, but also had an accident after giving birth, her life hung by a thread, and it was the doctor who tried his best to save her, since then, her husband has secretly made up his mind that it is enough to have two daughters in this life, and he will never let his wife suffer again.
The two daughters are the pearls of their palms, and the husband has never regretted that he has no son in this life, but loves his daughter very much, and the daughter is also well-behaved and sensible, and she is the intimate little padded jacket of her parents.
Even when the daughters grow up, get married and have children, every year during the Chinese New Year, there is always a daughter who brings her son-in-law to accompany them for the New Year, or takes her parents to celebrate the New Year.
When Aunt Tong and her husband were ill and had to be hospitalized, in addition to her daughter's intimate care, her son-in-law was busy with her husband, and she was really envious of others.
Although Aunt Tong and her husband have no sons in this life, the two sons-in-law treat them very well, and the daughter is even more filial, and she lives happily in her old age, no worse than the old people in the "children and daughters" family.
epilogue
Having children is a choice that young couples must face after marriage, whether it is a "child and daughter" family or a "double daughter" family, each has its own happiness and regrets, but each couple's choice is different.
In fact, as long as parents raise their children with their hearts, whether they are boys or girls, they can achieve a bowl of water, children feel the love of their parents, and they will be kind and filial to their parents in their old age, and the elderly can also enjoy the joy of family in their old age.