Recently, a mother of a three-child family posted a video that was scolded by netizens on the hot search.
The mother recorded a video of her dick mopping the floor, posted it on the Internet with the text:
The old ambassador can't be called, the third is cheating and slippery, only the second can still move, sometimes I feel that what I like may not be suitable for me, this sentence is not wrong at all.
In the eyes of this mother, the second of the three daughters is the most unpleasant, but fortunately she can work; although the eldest can draw, she ignores people and lacks interpersonal skills; the third has the best academic performance, but she is lazy.
As soon as the video came out, it instantly aroused heated discussions among the majority of netizens, and netizens said: She feels sorry for you, but you think she is so calling.
Faced with the doubts of netizens, the mother explained: I didn't deliberately ask the second child to work, but the second child himself likes to do housework, and the three children love it the same.
Netizens don't pay for it, how can any child be born with a natural love of work? If it's really a bowl of water, how can they say such a thing as "unpleasant"?
She obviously didn't do anything wrong, and she also helped her mother with housework and reduced her mother's burden, but her mother said that she was unpleasant behind her back.
The saddest thing is that these eccentric parents will never realize how eccentric they really are.
01
Why is dick often unpopular?
There is such a saying in the countryside: relying on the eldest is the third, and the second is the last to be seen.
As the first child of parents, the eldest poured out the joy and freshness of their first parents, but due to their inexperience, the eldest was basically raised as a "guinea pig".
If the first child is a daughter, the second child generally wants a son, and vice versa, whether it is a son or not, many families want both children and daughters. If the second child is exactly the opposite of his parents' expectations, although his parents will not say anything on the surface, they are still a little disappointed in their hearts, which is one of the reasons why the second child is not welcomed.
If they don't give birth to a satisfactory child, some parents will want to continue to give birth, so they have a third child. As the youngest, the parents will always favor the third child more, and educate the eldest and second child to let him do more.
At this time, the three children have a sorting, what is delicious, first to the third, then to the eldest, and finally to the second. Because the eldest has grown up, as the first child, he should be a role model for his younger siblings, and his parents have higher expectations for him; the third child, as the youngest, and has the experience of raising two children, it is naturally doubly loved; and the second half is not big, not up or down, and is most likely to be ignored by parents.
02
The most sensible children are often the least favored
Aunt Li, a neighbor, has two daughters, the eldest daughter has been very sensible since she was a child, she will take the initiative to help with housework after school, and will also hand Aunt Li a cup of hot tea when she is tired. Every year on Aunt Li's birthday, the eldest daughter will prepare in advance and make a special gift by herself.
But Aunt Li's youngest daughter likes to be naughty and mischievous, and often causes trouble, which gives Aunt Li a headache. On Aunt Li's birthday, the youngest daughter never gave any gifts, and even sometimes forgot them. But Aunt Li prefers the younger daughter, she thinks that the eldest daughter is too sensible, but less innocent and lively that children should have, and the naughty little daughter needs their love more.
Perhaps, this is "crying children have milk to eat", too sensible children will make parents think that their children can solve any problems by themselves and do not need parental care. And for another child who is not sensible, parents need to pay more time and energy to discipline, and naturally pour more love.
There are also some parents who are very hateful and think that sensible children have a good temper and are okay if they are wronged. And those children with a big temper, their parents are afraid that he will not treat them well in his old age, so they blindly follow him, and even sacrifice the interests of sensible children to fulfill him.
In fact, these parents have suffered a big loss, and they are blindly accustomed to ignorant children, which not only makes the child grow more and more crooked, but also makes the sensible child feel cold. In old age, ignorant children will only evade responsibility, and sensible children will be heartbroken, although they will not ignore their parents, but they will not have any warmth.
03
How can multi-child families try not to be partial?
Every child has their own characteristics, and as a parent, it is indeed not easy to have a bowl of water. Sometimes partiality may not be our intention, but some casual behavior may make the child feel overlooked. Here are some tips for parents to try to avoid making their children feel biased as much as possible
First of all, try to be as equal as possible in the distribution of materials. For example, when buying gifts, don't always buy expensive or expensive gifts for one child that other children don't. Consider buying one for each child or letting them choose their own so that each child feels valued.
Second, when dealing with conflicts between children, keep being an observer, not a judge. For example, if two children have a quarrel over a toy, you can ask them to talk about their ideas and then come up with a fair solution, rather than directly blaming the child you feel is "ignorant".
Finally, give each child some alone time. For example, arrange regular one-on-one parent-child activities so that each child has the opportunity to spend time alone with their parents, so that they can feel more attention and love.
It is very difficult for parents with two or three children in the family to be completely unbiased. What many children need is not equal love, but preference.
For example, when a child is sick, you can spend more time with him and give him a warm hug and comfort, which will make him feel favored. Or, when a child gets good grades, you can give him a small surprise, such as a favorite toy or a special dinner, to make him feel that his efforts are recognized.
Remember, favoritism does not mean neglect of other children. As parents, you don't need to favor one child all the time, but you should leave each child a few moments of preference at the right time.
In this way, they will all feel that they are unique and cherished in the hearts of their parents.