Graduate exams have evolved into a "compulsory path" for more and more college students, but many people may not realize that graduate supervisors and undergraduate teachers are completely different things.
Such a hot topic has been exposed: most tutors do not favor students from poor families, not simply because "poor couples mourn", nor necessarily because they are jealous of wealthy students. In essence, graduate studies are equivalent to teachers and students "working together", and the choice of the other party to treat students will directly shape the success of the future workplace.
Those who have experienced it are true that graduate supervisors are usually not interested in reticent students. There used to be a traditional saying that "children from poor families are precocious", but after graduates leave school, they realize that "early master" is just a precocious maturity in laundry, cooking, and hard-working.
This does not equate to an understanding of real relationships, rules of getting along, and career planning skills. Graduate school seems to be a continuation of studies, but in fact, it is already half-stepping into the "workplace state".
Why do tutors sometimes prefer students who are a little more well-off? As long as they are not unsatisfactory, they tend to be more inclined to reuse such students. The reason is that these "students" usually have a more flexible mind and understand the mysteries of partnerships.
Students from low-income families may be more reticent, not only in interpersonal interactions, but also in the academic process, and graduate school is not a "hands-on teaching" by teachers. Many problems need to be solved with initiative and comprehension.
This is not to belittle or exalt anyone, but to reflect many helpless social phenomena. Even if a graduate student comes from an average background, he is better at understanding the needs of his supervisor than others, and is more witty and flexible in his words and deeds, and of course he can win favor.
Although the saying goes, "time goes by", sometimes we don't have enough opportunities for our mentors to get to know us better and build a better relationship. In this case, skillfully giving small gifts in an appropriate way is undoubtedly a clever technique to promote the development of the relationship.
This practice may work both before the re-examination for graduate school and after successful admission. However, giving a gift also requires some skill, and it is better not to give it if it is not appropriate. Here, I summarize the experience provided by some predecessors.
Gift-giving to a mentor requires skill, and it should be grasped well, and it should not be too presumptuous. Gift-giving is an art and a science, and if you don't pay attention, it can lead to embarrassment for both parties. The mentor will be the person to be with in the next three years, which will directly affect the outcome of graduation, so this matter needs to be more cautious.
First of all, it is important to understand that the value of a gift is definitely not as high as possible. Especially when you contact your tutor before the re-examination for graduate school, and when you are not familiar with each other at the beginning of the semester, it seems quite presumptuous if you visit each other with expensive gifts.
Just as the saying "Are you going to test cadres with this?" is actually reasonable. Even if the mentor likes to receive these gifts, and if you give expensive gifts when the relationship is not yet familiar, the other person will worry that you are here for help, and worry about whether you will "lose your time" in the future, which obviously outweighs the cost.
Secondly, considering that the tutor has a certain strength and status in the university, it should not be too cheap when choosing a gift, so as not to appear to be not paying enough attention. Although "the gift is light and affectionate", if the gift is too light, it may give people the impression that they are not taken seriously.
The generally agreed principles of good choice include: practical, sophisticated, neither expensive nor too cheap. For example, some high-quality cups, pens, office supplies, or utensils related to laboratory work.
Gifts should not be too expensive, so as not to cause bribery speculation and cause trouble and trouble to the tutor. By choosing the appropriate gifts, show the importance of the mentor relationship rather than being perfunctory. Such an attitude will pave the way for future mentors to be supported and grateful.
When choosing a gift, pay attention to the strength and status of the mentor and avoid souvenirs that are too cheap. The value of the gift should be practical, sophisticated, and not excessively valuable. It's a choice that pays homage to the mentor without feeling overly contemptuous.
The art of gift-giving is to grasp the degree, not too expensive and not too cheap. It's a good idea to choose something practical, such as a high-quality mug, a pen, office supplies, or practical tools related to the mentor's work.
The purpose of gift-giving is to strengthen the relationship with the mentor and show gratitude, not to try to change the mentor's perception through expensive gifts. Strength and academic ability are still the most critical factors, and tutors pay more attention to the student's academic performance. As a result, a student who excels in projects with outstanding abilities will be appreciated by their mentors, even if they don't give gifts.
Comparatively speaking, for students who only show favor but have mediocre academic ability, giving gifts may not change the perception of the tutor. Normally, tutors are more inclined to choose students who excel academically, provided that these students do not behave too woodenly or disrespect the teacher.
Identifying the preferences of a supervisor is not a difficult task, and the graduate level is actually more like building relationships in the workplace. A mentor can be seen as a leader who needs strong students to help them complete tasks, while also appreciating flexible individuals who know how to get along with others.
Gift-giving is the icing on the cake and a way to show kindness to the mentor, but it should avoid becoming flattering and overly low-key. Conspiracy and bullying also exist in mentor academia, although the topic is rarely discussed publicly.
Some time ago, there was a male student, who had been in his third year of graduate school, and because he was always regarded as "cheap labor" and was frequently suppressed, he finally chose to commit suicide. This shows that not all people who work in education at universities can ensure a high level of moral character.
Therefore, college students should not be mistaken into thinking that gifts will solve all problems. Some people may react negatively to your overtures, believing that you are too easily controlled. In this case, there is no need to be too kind and polite.
Do you have any experience in this area to share?