Most of the children who are "cowardly in the nest" come from these two families, and the roots are in their fathers!
I often hear the mothers around me say that their babies are very interesting: they don't dare to say a word outside, just like a transparent person. However, once I got home, I tore down the ceiling. Other children are "in the nest and cowardly outside", but my children are just the opposite.
In fact, such children are not uncommon. Many children behave submissively outside, but when they come home, they become little bullies. However, there is another kind of child, they are "horizontal in the nest and cowardly outside", which makes people feel distressed when they see it.
These two kinds of families are the easiest to raise children who are "cowardly in the nest".
Family One: A family where dad is often absent
I often hear some mothers complaining: "Since the child's father is busy with work, the child has become more and more timid, and he used to refute me with a sentence or two, but now he is like a quail at home." ”
That's right, families where dad is often absent are the easiest to raise such children. The "absence" here is not only physical, but also psychological. If the father is not around for a long time, or even if he is around, the heart is not on the child, it will bring harm to the child.
Some studies have found that the formation of children's personality is most influenced by their parents. Especially the father, he is a role model for the children and an object for the children to imitate. If the father is often absent, the child will feel that he is not important and deserves to be loved. This insecurity will stay with them for the rest of their lives, causing them to behave submissively on the outside.
Believe it or not, most of the children who are confident on the outside are accompanied by their fathers, giving them enough security.
Family 2: A family where dad often loses his temper
If a family where dad is often absent raises a "transparent person" type of child, then a family where dad often loses his temper raises a "little bully" type child.
The children of this kind of family, they are flying at home, like a little emperor. However, once they go out of the house, they become very timid and do not dare to communicate with people, or even look at people.
Why is there such a contrast? The root cause is still in Dad. Dad often loses his temper, which can make his child feel scared and uneasy. They want to protect themselves, so they behave aggressively at home. However, this strength is only superficial, and they are actually very fragile inside.
Outside, they are afraid of being hurt again, so they choose to run away. They dare not communicate with others, dare not express their thoughts, for fear of being denied and hurt again.
Children from these two families have one thing in common
Children from these two families, although they behave differently, have one thing in common: they are not confident.
Children who are not confident behave submissively on the outside, for fear that they will do the wrong thing and say the wrong thing. They are afraid to communicate with people, they are afraid to look at people, they are afraid of being denied and hurt.
Most of the children who are not confident are rooted in their fathers. Frequent absences from dad can make children feel unimportant and unworthy of love, and frequent tantrums can make children feel scared and uneasy. Both of these situations can cause children to lose their self-confidence and cause them to behave submissively on the outside.
Therefore, if you want to change your child's submissive behavior outside, you must first start with your father. Fathers should spend more time with their children to give them a sense of security, and at the same time, they should also control their emotions and not lose their temper too often. Only in this way can the child grow up with confidence and behave confidently on the outside.
"Daddy is here, the baby is there, Daddy is stable, the baby is stable. ”
Although this sentence is simple, it speaks to the importance of fathers in the growth of children. Dad is not only a child's dependence, but also a role model for children. Only when the father is stable and confident, can the child be stable and confident.
So, fathers, put down your work and spend more time with your children! Don't let them become children who are "cowardly in the nest", let them behave confidently outside and become winners in life!