As the saying goes:
"Things gather by like, and people are divided by 'groups'. ”
With the popularization of WeChat, various WeChat groups have also come into being.
All kinds of classmates, children's parents, work groups, classmates and friends, family groups, etc., are numerous and countless.
WeChat groups have become an important tool for people's daily communication and affection.
And some people, in the WeChat group, rarely speak and do not leave the group, they often have the following three mentalities.
Watching from the sidelines, insight into human nature
I like a quote:
"The tea ceremony has never been full of seven points, and leaving three points is a favor. ”
In this information age, people coexist in a WeChat group to link with each other and enhance their feelings.
And I don't know when the WeChat group has quietly changed its flavor and has become a hotbed for some people to promote products and achieve their own careers.
And selling goods in the WeChat group is to test each other's affection.
If the desired result cannot be achieved, even the original relationship may become precarious.
Netizen A Fang once shared the story of his relatives selling health care products in the family group.
At first, the relatives just sent some links and selfies of themselves drinking health supplements.
These Ah Fang can tolerate it, after all, everyone has their own pursuits, and they can't stop others from doing it just because they don't like it.
But with the continuous investment of his relatives, his behavior became more and more crazy, and he even relied on his identity as an elder to force Ah Fang to accept.
Once, Ah Fang complained in the group, complaining that he had cervical spondylosis again, and the pain was unbearable.
When the relatives learned about it, they immediately threw greetings and suggested that Ah Fang drink health products.
Because her products can remove waste from the body, no matter what the disease, it can be cured.
From 80-year-old men to 3-year-old children, there is no problem that her health supplements cannot solve.
The words of relatives annoyed Ah Fang, and finally they couldn't bear it anymore and had a big fight.
When a relationship is fractured, it is difficult to restore the original situation.
Since then, Ah Fang and her relatives have lost contact and cut off contact, and they have a very tacit understanding with each other, and no one cares about anyone.
The originally harmonious relationship between relatives, because of a small health care product, eventually evolved into a stranger.
I have heard it said:
"All the fate of life is a debt owed in the previous life, and those who meet and leave because they don't owe you much, pay it off, and leave. ”
Because of fate, people get together and exist together in the same WeChat group.
And some people mistakenly regard the WeChat group for contacting feelings as a platform for their own career development, constantly asking for and consuming.
Some people speak out and tear their faces;
Some people are silent, thinking about that trace of friendship.
Therefore, silence does not mean that there is nothing to say, but after seeing through human nature, still give respect and retain the last trace of face for each other.
Be nosy and know the boundaries of relationships
A reporter interviewed centenarians about the secret of longevity, and one of them was:
Be nosy.
In life, there are always some people who like to fight grievances and uphold justice.
As everyone knows, to meddle with things that shouldn't be taken care of is to put yourself in danger, sad and sad.
My friend Nobita once stood out as a person, but he was deeply shocked, and he was not a person inside and out.
At that time, Nobita had just settled into his new home, and it was only natural that he had joined the group of owners.
The new construction of the community, some facilities are not well managed, and this has become a reason for the owners to crusade against the property.
The owners shouted slogans and mobilized everyone to unite and fight against the property to protect their interests from infringement.
And Nobita is burly, righteous and righteous, and after several reasonable and well-founded speeches, he has become the leader of everyone's election.
In the group, the owners responded to the call, agreed on a date together, and went to negotiate with the property together.
Nobita, as a representative, came to the agreed place early, but after a long time, only sporadic owners came to the scene to support.
When asked about the whereabouts of others, they are either busy with work or busy with family affairs, and they always have good reasons and various delays.
Later, Nobita went to negotiate with the people of the property.
In the process of negotiation, he quarreled with the people of the property because of a disagreement.
As you can imagine, the end was not achieved, and the negotiations naturally failed.
If it stops here, Nobita will not be sad.
But by chance, he learned about other people in the group, not only did they thank him for his efforts, but also accused him of not doing things well and not fighting for the interests of the owners.
When he heard these remarks, Nobita suddenly felt enthusiastic and fed the dog with a lot of regret.
After experiencing this incident, Nobita no longer speaks in the group, dives all day, disappears, and acts as an invisible person.
One teacher said:
"There must be a sense of boundaries in social interactions, don't ask what you shouldn't ask, don't care about what you shouldn't care. ”
In the world, if you ask what you shouldn't ask, it becomes an obstacle, and if you don't manage what you shouldn't, it becomes a malicious intention.
Whether online or offline, people should keep a deliberate distance and leave plenty of personal space for each other.
In this way, the friendship can last forever and discover the shining points in each other.
Likes solitude and enjoys being alone
There is a popular saying on the Internet:
"Low-quality socialization is not as good as high-quality solitude. ”
Nowadays, a variety of WeChat groups have become people's social burden, which is disturbed from time to time and continues to be affected.
And truly mature people like to be alone, to peek into their own hearts in solitude, to reconcile with themselves, and to focus on doing their own thing.
I still remember my former colleague Xiaoyan, who is such a person who likes to be alone.
Xiaoyan is beautiful and has a gentle personality, and she is recognized by her colleagues as a big beauty.
is such a beauty, but she never talks to her colleagues in the WeChat group, and she always walks alone in private.
When she goes to work, Xiaoyan always clocks in, neither late nor early.
At work, she does not pursue praise, nor does she care about bonuses, nor does she deliberately try to please the leader and maintain friendship with colleagues.
When colleagues ask her to share gossip, she always nods frequently, returns with a light smile, does not judge easily, and does not rashly express her opinions.
When eating in the cafeteria, she always sits alone in the corner, does not talk to others, and enjoys her own tranquility.
Just when everyone speculated that she had no future, she was revealed to have been admitted to the CPA examination, and her ability to throw off her colleagues was a big cut.
Not only in terms of personal ability, but also in terms of financial resources, Xiaoyan has also sprung up and made remarkable achievements.
It turned out that she had already partnered with a friend to start a business, had her own business, and achieved financial freedom.
In life, most of those who seem to be out of place have their own plans in their hearts and will not easily change themselves because of others.
Most of these people have a strong heart, and they can look down on the clouds and smile.
Márquez also said:
"I prefer solitude to being alone when no one cares about me than when someone is emotionally swaying. ”
Instead of brushing up on the hustle and bustle, it is better to slow down, return to calm, and find your inner voice.
Sometimes, the people who don't speak in the WeChat group are precisely the people who have a rich spiritual world and have their own rhythm of life.
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There is something to say:
"The sea is boundless, inclusive and wide-ranging. ”
The world is full of wonders, even in WeChat groups, there are different forms and postures.
Some people actively speak in the group, jump out of the activity, enjoy the pleasure in the interaction, and obtain achievements.
And some people are willing to be silent, keep their peace in the hustle and bustle, enjoy themselves, and live leisurely.
No matter which one it is, it is a way of life, regardless of whether it is high or low, good or bad.
Therefore, respecting each other and accepting the differences between others and oneself is a sign of maturity and wisdom in life.
Author | Purple warp away from the small fish, like a fish swimming in the ocean of words.
Picture | Submitted by Ziqiao photography enthusiasts