#农村女孩逆袭 ##三十岁离异还能选择爱情吗##人物故事#
This is the 3,736th real story we have told
My name is Wang Meng, 42 years old, from rural Sichuan, and I am the mother of twin boys. Growing up in a constant quarrel between my parents, I was bent on getting out of the countryside and into the wider world. I firmly believe that reading can change my fate, I was admitted to 211 University, and after graduation, I worked in Midea and Huawei.
Two years ago, at the age of 40, I ended my marriage of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts and husband and wife quarrels, and lived with my two sons.
Today, I work as a financial manager in a state-owned enterprise and have a boyfriend who is 4 years younger than me. After folding its wings, the bird took off again and flew freely in the direction of my dream.
(Anyone with a dream can fly)
I was born in December 1982 in a small village in Deyang, Sichuan, the only daughter in my family.
As far back as I can remember, my parents were always arguing. Mom always felt that Dad was inferior to Uncle and Neighbor, and always nagged and counted Dad down. Since then, I have thought that in the future, I will start a family on my own, and I must be harmonious, warm and loving.
At that time, life at home was difficult. Every day after school, I have to do farm work, threshing pigweed, cutting wheat, planting rice, feeding pigs, and doing everything very well.
However, this did not delay my homework, the year I graduated from elementary school, the town's junior high school held the first "fast and slow class", I passed the exam, successfully entered the fast class, and the gears of fate began.
In junior high school, I was always at the top of my studies. I worked as a math class representative, class leader, and league secretary. As a small person, I was very liked by my classmates and teachers.
(When I was a child)
The summer after the high school entrance examination, a few friends and I planned to run a primary school English tutoring class. However, tutorial classes need classrooms. After we discussed, we were going to borrow our elementary school's. At that time, one of my classmates and I went to the home of the principal of the elementary school and told him our idea, and we immediately got the support of the old principal.
Our tutorial classes went very well. Actually, we don't want to make money, we just want to exercise and improve ourselves. This incident was a great encouragement to me, who was only 15 years old at the time. I learned that as long as you have an idea and work hard to do it, you will definitely succeed.
In high school, I was admitted to a key high school, Deyang Middle School. There are a lot of talents here, and every student used to be the top student in the class. I am a rural girl, dressed plainly, rustic, and often alone. In particular, many of my classmates, who were already very good, also attended tutorial classes, which made me feel more stressed. In order not to fall behind, I had to study twice as hard day and night.
(I was very young back then)
During that time, I spent every day in depression and anxiety. I digested all this on my own and never told my parents.
During the winter vacation of my freshman year of high school, I decided to sell newspapers to exercise my ability to deal with people.
Now, I vividly remember that it was a foggy morning, and I wholesaled 20 copies of Chengdu Business Daily and went to a bus stop in the city to sell them.
However, looking at the crowd coming and going, I couldn't shout. I kept pushing myself in my heart, shouting and shouting. However, he just couldn't shout. I don't know how long it took, but with constant self-encouragement, I finally shouted "Sell the newspaper-". This "earth-shattering" sound made me more confident in myself.
(My University)
Before the college entrance examination, I was overwhelmed by the heavy academic load and huge mental pressure. I knew that I could not fail, but only succeed in one fell swoop, because repeating also requires money, which is an additional burden for our family.
In the college entrance examination, I was admitted to Southwestern University of Finance and Economics. On the first day I entered the university, I started planning my university life. I secretly decided that I would not waste these four years, and that I would find a job when I graduated, so that my parents would not worry about me.
I still remember that not long after the start of the semester, I went to a "freshman lecture sharing session", and there were two seniors, one was a graduate student, and the other was about to enter the social work.
The senior said that he regretted not participating in the campus practice activities during his college years and focused on his studies, while another senior said that he had been serving as a student union officer and was busy with trivial affairs, regretting that he could not concentrate on his studies.
(My life is simple and happy)
So, I said to myself at the time, I definitely don't want to be like these two seniors, I don't want 100 points in each item, I want to do a good job in studying and practicing at the same time.
With this concept in mind, during my college years, I won a second-class scholarship, served as a cadre of the Youth League, and worked as a tutor...... In my senior year of campus recruitment, I became the first student in my class to get an offer.
After graduating in June 2005, I came to work in the finance department of Shunde Midea, Guangdong. In order to get familiar with the business as soon as possible, I worked hard and kept learning.
At that time, my work enthusiasm was very high, I would study the business process behind the ERP and the corresponding accounting entries after work, I would go through the voucher statistics for audit needs, and I would leave work at half past eleven in the evening, and go to the office at 5:30 the next morning to continue; I would go to the office on Saturdays and Sundays to work overtime in order to speed up the testing of the new system.
(Participation in events held by the company)
Of course, in addition to work, I am also a person who loves beauty and life, even if I work overtime on weekends, I will dress up a little, and if I don't work overtime on weekends, I will actively participate in various activities organized by the company, such as playing ball and swimming.
From the moment I got my first month's salary, I was planning how I was going to spend my money and where I would spend it. I work hard and live hard. In 2008, after the Wenchuan earthquake, my mother kept urging me to go home, and I had to end my career in Guangdong.
After returning to Sichuan, I joined Huawei Symantec in October 2008. I attended the induction training at Huawei in Shenzhen, and I was very impressed by the training.
(Huawei Induction Training)
At that time, plus me, there were three girls from Shanghai, Hunan, and Sichuan, and we were divided into the same dormitory. Suddenly, I felt like I was back in college life. We had morning exercises, evening classes, and team building games. From the very beginning, I fell in love with Huawei's friends.
When I entered Huasai, I felt very stressed. First, I switched from accounting to product line finance BP, and second, I switched from traditional manufacturing to high-tech industry, and I am still a sophisticated and high-intensity enterprise like Huasai, and my business is completely different from the past.
To be honest, I was overwhelmed at first, and I cried many times when I came back to the rental house after work. However, I had no choice but to study hard, to work overtime.
(Self-confidence is my usual style)
Therefore, I applied for an on-the-job master's degree in project management at Sichuan University to improve my academic qualifications and project management knowledge. At the same time, I secretly made up my mind that no matter how hard it is, I must do a good job in my current position. I made a military order for myself, even if I really want to leave one day, I must make achievements and leave my footprints.
Hard work pays off, and there will always be rewards for paying. With unremitting efforts and the spirit of not admitting defeat, I passed the national GCT exam in my studies, enrolled on schedule and successfully obtained my master's degree certificate. In the following year, he got a performance A, was promoted to team leader, and won the company's special contribution award (gold medal) in 2011.
(I am confident in the future)
At the beginning, my parents urged me to go home, and a very important reason was to urge me to get married. They thought I was old and it was time to get married.
After returning to Chengdu, I met a boy on the Internet, and after chatting, I learned that he was actually from Midea Group, and he joined in the same year, but he was not in the same subsidiary as me. Coincidentally, he is also from Sichuan, not far from my home.
Because of these common topics, we quickly cleared up the strangeness and felt appropriate. Although, my parents don't approve of it, because their family is very poor, the house in their hometown is very dilapidated, his parents still like to play mahjong, and our zodiac is also a chicken and dog discord. However, we still got married in less than half a year.
(I climbed the Great Wall, so I can be considered a hero)
Because I think that his parents have nothing to do with playing mahjong, and the discord between chickens and dogs is also superstition. There is nothing terrible about being poor, I can create a happy life with my own hands. Hey, it's really young, ignorant and fearless.
Just when my career was in full swing, I became pregnant, and the child's father was transferred to another place. Because I was a twin, I had a particularly severe reaction during pregnancy, especially in the third trimester, and I had a particularly hard time moving. However, I still insisted on going to work as usual.
Later, because my child was born prematurely, I officially resigned from Huawei in January 2013. At that time, my supervisor tried his best to keep me, saying that I didn't have to resign, I could change to an easier position, and return to my current position when my children were older.
(My two darlings)
However, I chose to quit my job anyway. Because my two children were born prematurely, my body was very weak, and I was sick all the time, and I couldn't concentrate on my work at all.
At that time, my salary was 10,000 yuan per month and a year-end bonus of 50,000-60,000 yuan. Although I left the company on my own initiative, Huawei also gave me a severance compensation of about 100,000 yuan.
This resignation ended my youthful struggles prematurely, and then I took my twin sons full-time in my hometown. From before the birth of the child to a long time after, I experienced the darkest moments of my life: the conflict between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law broke out, my parents constantly blamed, the husband and wife quarreled and spoke viciously to each other, and the child was weak and sick and hospitalized...... Whenever people say that I am happy to have twins, I can only smile and smile, and my heart will ache faintly.
After the birth of my two sons, my parents and I have been in my hometown, and the children's father works in Chengdu and comes back once a week. Due to the frailty and sickly health of our two children, we were very busy. When my mom was so busy, she would complain that they were busy all the time, and my grandparents didn't help at all.
(Travel, it's a way for me to heal myself)
My original plan was that after the child was one year old, my parents and parents-in-law would take care of the child together, and I would go out to work. However, the sky is unpredictable. At this time, my father-in-law fell ill, and it was lung cancer when I checked it. At this time, my mother-in-law had to take care of the sick, and the child's father could not return to my house on time every week, so he often had to take care of his father. I had to stay at home and take care of my children.
I am a person who always plans ahead, and as early as when my child was one year old, I started the CPA (Certified Public Accountant) exam preparation program, thinking that I could not be eliminated by society. Since I can't go out to work now, I'm just studying.
I have made a 5-year and 10-year study plan and career plan for myself. For example, before the age of 35, I want to get a CPA, at the age of 40, I want to become an expert in the field of finance, and at the age of 45, I want to have my own consulting company...... These are the spiritual food and motivation that support me to keep moving forward.
(The goal I have planned is being completed step by step)
Every day, in the morning, when the children are still asleep, and in the evening when they are already asleep, it is a good time for me to study, because it is a rare quiet time at home.
I could only squeeze my sleep time and sit on a small bench not far from my children to read. When the kids woke up, I circled around them.
Although I am very busy, I am very patient and dedicated to my children. I would play with them, play with them, interact with them. I would hug them often, praise them, encourage them, and make them feel that their mom loves them.
When my children were one year old, I hired a part-time aunt to help with the cooking and housework, which freed me up and I took time out to study every day, and this lasted for about 8 months.
(Know the balance between work and life)
In order for my parents to educate my children well, I first "trained" my parents to practice my educational philosophy. For example, if the children behave well, you can draw a "star" for them and reward them with a small toy. If you don't do it well, you should also be punished moderately.
At first, my parents felt very troublesome and resistant, especially my mother, who felt that she was a rural woman and couldn't get these things.
I told her bitterly about the benefits of doing so. I also wrote the "task list" and posted it on the wall for them to follow it. Slowly, parents saw the effect of educating their children in this way, and they were happy.
In order to get my parents to support me, I told them the purpose of my study, and they were willing to share more care for the children.
Sometimes, they also lose their temper and complain. However, I can't talk back, and I accept all their negative emotions, because I'm afraid that they will be angry and pick on them, and it will be even more difficult for me.
Of course, I am very grateful to my parents, without them, I would not be able to take care of my two children alone.
(I am thankful for those busy and fulfilling days)
The child's father didn't support me to take the CPA exam at all, he felt that my study would affect the child's care, and even said that if I passed the exam, he would fry the fish in the palm of his hand. When I said this, I passed my first accounting exam.
In December 2014, I was introduced by a headhunter to successfully apply for the position of financial manager of a newly established business unit after the restructuring of a central research institute. Those days were hard and painful, but they were rich and fulfilling.
On March 2, 2015, my twin sons and I started a new journey at the same time. They entered the kindergarten, and I went to report to the new company. I spent a year and a half in the business unit, then moved to the group headquarters for a year and a half, and then in May 2018 I was assigned to the following subsidiary as a financial manager.
(The two babies have grown up)
My appointment as a finance manager was like parachuting into the company. So, here I experienced everything that parachuting deserves: isolation, trouble, self-doubt, and even depression. Every day I go to work, I feel miserable. I used to work "three watches and sleep in the middle of the night", but it was not so difficult.
It wasn't until 2020 that a turnaround was ushered in. The group successively sent the company's general manager, chairman and two deputy general managers, and my days finally came to a bright end. I'm so happy that I can finally work without distractions, and it's a good feeling to have a good time working.
However, for some time now, our relationship as a couple has become more and more strained. After we got married, we often quarreled over a trivial matter, and I lived like my parents back then.
(Work area)
We don't have the same views, and we will have completely different views on the same thing. From educating children to buying something at the supermarket, we all think differently. Our schedules are also very inconsistent, I like to go to bed early and get up early, he does sales, often comes late and wakes up late the next day. Because of this, there are also frequent quarrels.
Also, he often asks me to do a big cleaning on the weekends, and I am not satisfied with it. What's more, when I do a skincare beauty, he will also blame it, and feel that it is completely unnecessary, even if all the money is my own. So I felt like I was going to be hollowed out, I was almost losing my freedom, I was suffocating.
(Love to laugh, can withstand the long years)
Because of these, we don't know how many times we have quarreled, and each time we quarrel fiercely. When I mentioned divorce again, I didn't compromise and didn't give in, like eight years ago, when my child was two years old, when he put the divorce agreement in front of me, I thought of the child's young age, and tore up the agreement in a fit of anger.
This divorce is still strongly opposed by my parents, just as they did not approve of my marriage at the beginning, and now they strongly oppose my divorce. Because the divorce makes them feel ashamed and faceless, and they can't hold their heads up in front of relatives and friends.
However, I firmly believe that a noisy and loveless family environment is also extremely detrimental to children's growth, and I don't want to live this kind of life for the rest of my life.
In the beginning, we agreed to divorce and each child had one. However, on the one hand, he did not have an actual helper with the children, and on the other hand, the children were not close to their family. So, in the end, it's up to me to take it. The two children are also companions.
(State-owned Enterprise Business Department Work Office Area)
Last year, a friend introduced me to a boy who was unmarried, four years younger than me, graduated from a military academy, and now works as a catering.
I feel that fate is really magical, our zodiac signs are compatible. More importantly, he was able to accept my condition: he did not plan to have any more children.
In fact, his experience was also very bitter. When he was 12 years old, his father died and his mother remarried, and he lived with his grandmother and two aunts.
During the college entrance examination, because his uncle was in the army, he was admitted to the military school. After graduating from the military academy, he could have stayed in the army, but because he didn't like the overly restrictive life in the army, he didn't choose to stay in the end. After that, he opened a small shop and is currently engaged in catering.
(Take a selfie, it's also beautiful)
He is very nice, he has a gentle temper, and we get along very well. He has no pressure from his family to carry on the lineage, and he is completely acceptable not to have children of his own.
When we were dating, I was afraid that the children would resist, so I didn't tell the children first, but just let him meet my parents. My parents also think he is very good and a very reliable person.
After that, I asked my mother to test the children, saying that it was hard for me to take care of them alone, and it would be better if someone shared it. After obtaining the children's consent, we invited him to our house as a "guest".
To be honest, before he met the children, I was apprehensive, and I was afraid that the children would not accept him. However, who knew that they fell in love as soon as they met, and they quickly became acquainted.
(The years have left traces and memories)
My son and I both love dogs, but for various reasons, we have never had a dog. He actually raised a border herd, with a nice name, called Yiyi, which looked very cute, and the children liked it very much.
Now, he gets along very well with the two children, he often accompanies the children to play basketball, sports, games, etc., and the children call him uncle, and give him the affectionate nickname "boss". He would also tell me how to educate and manage boys, and how to get along with boys who were about to go puberty.
I have always had a wish to take my children to the Northeast to experience the winter of the "Snow Country", but I have never been able to make the trip. This winter, we are planning to go to the Northeast, and it just so happens that he is from the Northeast, so he will be our intimate guide and companion. We're all looking forward to the next trip.
(The former war and chaos have been light and light)
Due to various considerations, we don't plan to get a certificate before the children's college entrance examination, because that piece of paper is not important to us, and it may be easier and more comfortable for everyone to get along in this way.
I'm not someone who only knows how to work and can't live. Over the years, with a certain amount of savings, I started to travel to see the wider world. I have been to the Great Wall of the Forbidden City in Beijing, Hong Kong and Macau, Sanya in Hainan, Lhasa in Tibet, and the Xisha Islands...... In the future, I will go to farther places to experience a colorful life.
I also like sports, running, yoga, which I have been doing all these years. After practicing yoga, I thought that if I wanted to do something difficult, I especially practiced handstands. I remembered that in "Meteor Garden", Hua Ze said to Shancai: "When you can't help but cry out, if you can stand upside down, then the tears that were originally going to flow out can't flow." ”
(Handstand, also my way of challenging myself)
In this way, in November 2016, I began to practice handstands, including breaking down arm strength and core, overcoming psychological pressure, finding a fitness coach to assist in practice, and watching videos repeatedly...... After 3 months, I was able to do handstands and elbow handstands against the wall, and after 6 months, I was basically doing handstands against the wall.
I firmly believe in "living and learning", especially in this era of knowledge and information explosion. One word I particularly like is "plan ahead".
Before the general trend of transformation and upgrading of the finance and accounting industry came, I took the exam as a certified management accountant in the United States in the evenings and weekends to cope with the trend of integration of industry and finance.
(Life is about learning and growing)
When I saw the rise of family education and psychological and emotional problems in the mainland, I took advantage of the time of others to swipe their mobile phones and play games to be admitted to the family education instructor and psychological counselor.
In the era of personal entrepreneurship, self-media and AI technology, where will we go in the era of the super-bang in the next 5 or 10 years? In order to meet a better version of myself in the next 10 years, I will continue to work hard.
(Welcome to pay attention to the protagonist of this article "Running Like a Flower")
[Dictation: Wang Meng]
[Editor: Mo Shang Blossom]
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