Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
In various cultures, it is common for people to leave their families of origin as adults to establish their own homes.
The traditional Chinese concept is that
Similarly, in Western societies, vertical kinship based on blood and horizontal social relations based on marriage constitute the basic network of society.
Therefore, for young people of marriageable age, if the phenomenon of unmarried is widespread, it will lead to problems such as the imbalance between men and women, the decline in the birth rate and the aging of the population.
In the case of our East Asian neighbour, Japan, the feminist movement in the past had a great impact on the relationship between men and women, and many men were reluctant to marry and family.
Therefore, a large number of male otaku prefer to live alone and are reluctant to get married.
This has led to a serious aging population in Japanese society, an imbalance between men and women, and an increase in the social crime rate for many men due to the lack of nourishment in marriage and sexual life;
Women who do not have family support are forced to work in the custom industry in order to earn a living.
Similarly, a similar phenomenon exists in China, where many men and women of marriageable age do not choose to marry and have children at this time for various reasons, resulting in a large number of "leftover men and women".
According to census data from the mainland, the marriage rate among young Chinese who have reached marriageable age has been declining since 2013.
For the whole of that year, China's marriage rate was only 9.9 percent. In 2018, the rate dropped to 7.2%.
Currently, there are more than 240 million young people of marriageable age, including more than 100 million women, which is twice as high as in Japan, where the gender imbalance is severe.
The so-called "older leftover women" problem has become a well-known phenomenon, and it can be said that it is a commonplace topic.
This phenomenon did not happen overnight.
As the saying goes, that's exactly what this is all about.
As globalization progresses, China has naturally been influenced by Western and other overseas cultures, including ideas, cultures, and ideologies.
With the introduction of liberal thought and feminist movements in the West, Chinese women, who were gradually more educated and self-aware, were influenced to pursue their own lives.
As a result, they either pursue their studies or develop their own careers, which is very different from women in traditional societies, where women often do not have the opportunity to receive a good education, and can only dedicate themselves to their husbands and families after marriage, or even become tools only for childbearing.
With the advancement of society and ideas, modern women are able to "be themselves" to a large extent, which complements the previous improvement.
The introduction of Western culture has led to a re-examination of some issues, and the advancement of women has promoted attention to these issues.
This change has both positive and negative effects.
On the bright side, there has been a significant improvement in unfair treatment of women;
On the downside, this can lead women to mistakenly believe that they are enjoying privileges, which can actually be a sign of slaughter.
In social sayings, there is a saying that the son is compared, which is intended to show that the boy's future development potential is great but there are also many challenges;
Daughters, on the other hand, are likened to mean that they may not have to face stiff competition, but can change their fate through marriage.
Some may misinterpret this metaphor as discrimination against women, but in reality, this formulation is not intended to be demeaning – both are called "banks", and it is not unfounded that there is a phenomenon of high bride prices in society.
This humorous statement only reflects the different mentalities of parents at the birth of their children and does not intend to discriminate on the basis of gender.
In fact, women today are born in a better nurturing environment than in the past.
The so-called strategy is because women are considered to need more care than men in the process of growing up, both physically and psychologically, and are more delicate and sensitive, so many women are pampered like "little princesses" at home.
However, this kind of spoiling from childhood to adulthood is actually the beginning of overprotection – while moderate pampering is beneficial, excessive spoiling can be detrimental to the daughter.
As their daughters grow up, they may leave home for a higher education – and even if their families allow it, even if they send their daughters abroad to study, they will face the challenge of living on their own.
In this case, the excessive pampering of the family may cause them to be unable to adapt to self-care, such as doing their own laundry, seeing a doctor, or dealing with daily life problems, and the discomfort caused by this protection from small to large can be seen as an "illusion".
This kind of problem, which begins in childhood, can be seen as a prelude to the "battle of the trapped beasts".
Over time, when these women gradually learn to live independently, finish their studies and enter the workforce, they are just beginning to adapt to dealing with various problems in life independently, and it is difficult for them to protect themselves, let alone married life.
Due to certain habits formed in their early years, they may not be very considerate of other people's feelings, and in their love life, they may have conflicts with their partners – of course, conflicts are on both sides, not necessarily because of women alone, but overprotection in the early years can really have an impact.
This eventually leads to the fact that at marriageable age, many women still believe that life should meet their needs, pursue personal happiness, and live like a princess.
Although this is also an attitude towards life, it is an immutable truth that it is difficult for people to exist independently from family life.
It is conceivable that if you can find the right partner, you can get more happiness even if you need to sacrifice some personal space after marriage.
An effective way to find the right partner is to enrich yourself and learn to make yourself attractive, so as to help yourself stay away from the negative effects of being "killed".
The End -
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Keywords in this article: female psychology, psychology
The picture comes from the Internet, please contact for infringement
WeChat public account: First Psychology