I am 35 years old and a middle manager in a medium-sized company. Since childhood, the family is not rich, but it is also passable. My parents worked hard and wanted me to get ahead. I myself have always been very self-motivated, hardworking, and have a certain pursuit of life. It's just that at this age, I have a successful career, but I am still alone, which makes me a little lonely and anxious.
Later, I frequented that store, and I also went to her. Every time I see her smiling face, my heart jumps. A few times, we were able to talk a few times, and her voice was clean and pleasant, and I was intoxicated.
Gradually, I developed a different kind of affection for her. I know it's an unrealistic relationship, she's just an ordinary massage girl, and I'm a decent office worker. But I just can't control myself, and my yearning for her is getting deeper and deeper.
Finally, after a twist and pinch, I made up my mind to pursue her. Of course, I was also a little hesitant in my heart, after all, the background gap between the two of us was too big. However, love is like this, it ignores the rich and the poor, as long as you are willing to give sincerely.
That day, I came to the massage parlor as usual. I deliberately waited until there were fewer people so that I could be alone with her. Sure enough, it didn't take long for the other guests to be gone, leaving only me and her.
"You're alone today?" She said to me with a smile.
"Well, it's quieter. I replied a little nervously.
She beckoned me to sit down and started giving me a massage. My eyes kept sneaking over her: her skin was fair, and her eyebrows and eyes were delicate. Whenever she approached, I could smell the faint scent of her, which was refreshing.
"How are you doing?" I asked as if I tried to pretend to be nonchalant.
"It's okay, it's just that this job is too tiring. She sighed, "It's much better than in the factory, though." "
Since then, we've started to have more conversations. When I asked about her hometown, she said it was a small county town in Shandong; I asked her why she came here to work, and she said it was to earn money to support her family. It turned out that she also had an elderly mother to support.
Hearing this, I felt even more pity and admiration for her. It is not easy for a small jasper family to work so hard in a foreign land. I secretly decided that I must pursue her well and give her a better living environment.
I started frequenting that store, sometimes even twice a day. Every time, I try to talk to her for a while to learn about her interests, hobbies, living habits, etc. She also seemed to slowly let down her guard, and gradually regarded me as an acquaintance.
"Why do you come every day? At one point, she jokingly asked me.
I was momentarily speechless, thinking that this was really a sentence. But I immediately calmed down and replied with a smile, "You're right, I do have intentions against you. "
She was startled by my bluntness and blushed. I quickly explained that it was just a joke. But I secretly made up my mind that one day I would let her know my true heart.
Gradually, I learned about her family history from her small talk. Her name is Zhang Yu, 26 years old this year, and she is from a small county in Shandong. My father died at an early age, and my mother was very old, and she was all dependent on her to support her life.
In order to earn money to support her family, she dropped out of school at the age of 18 and came to the city to work. At first, he worked in a garment factory, with a meager income of only a few hundred yuan a month, and his life was quite poor. Later, she started her current massage job, although it was not decent, but it was always better than before.
"If only there was a better way out. Whenever she talks about the future, Zhang Yu is always full of worries, "My mother's health is deteriorating, but I don't even have a home to take care of her." "
I looked at her gloomy eyes, and my heart was mixed. A girl of this age should have lived a carefree life, but she has long been struggling in the quagmire of society. I swore to myself that I would give her a stable home no matter what.
With determination, I began to take the initiative to approach Zhang Yu. Every time I go to the store, I bring her some small gifts, sometimes fruit that she loves to eat, sometimes cheap jewelry. Although she was prevaricating on the surface, I could tell that she was actually happy inside.
"You have been so good to me, how can I repay you?" At one point, she looked at me with a gloomy look in her eyes.
"You don't need to repay me anything, we just get along like this. I said firmly.
Gradually, we became talkative. I opened up everything I was to her, including family, work, hobbies, etc., and she also told me about her life experience.
Once, I mustered up the courage to say to her, "Zhang Yu, I know there is a gap between us, but I really like you." Can you give me a chance?"
Zhang Yuleng paused, then blushed and lowered his head. After a while, she whispered, "I like you too, but ......"
I hurriedly interrupted her: "It's okay, you think about it first." I can wait for you until you truly accept me. "
Since then, I have been unsparing in pursuing her. Whenever I have time, I ask her out to go shopping and watch movies. Although she sometimes pushes back, she eventually compromises. In this way, we gradually cultivated a rare tacit understanding.
About half a year later, after my repeated pleas, Zhang Yu finally agreed to live with me. Her exact words were: "I also know that we need a name between us after all." Since you are so sincere, then I will reluctantly agree to you. "
I was so happy that I couldn't close my mouth. Since then, we have been living together. I rented an apartment with good facilities and would be cosy inside and out. Every day after work, I would rush home as soon as possible and be by Zhang Yu's side.
At first, Zhang Yu was still a little restrained, but gradually he fully integrated into this life. Sometimes she would take the initiative to cook a homely meal, and sometimes she would ask me to take her out for a walk. We just snuggled up to each other and lived a small life of talking and laughing.
"You know, I sometimes dream of marrying you and having a baby in the future, how nice it would be!" Once, Zhang Yu said to me happily.
I was stunned, then I hugged her in my arms and said affectionately: "Then get married, I really want to be with you forever!"
However, the good times were short-lived. After about a few months, Zhang Yu began to behave a little abnormally. Sometimes she'll ignore me, and sometimes she'll lose her temper for no reason. I really don't know why, so I can only secretly guess if it's because I've been too tired lately.
Until one day, Zhang Yu finally told the truth. It turned out that although she agreed to live with me, she always regarded this as a "bondage" relationship in her heart, rather than a real love. She didn't feel worthy of me, and she couldn't give me a proper home.
"You've been so good to me like this, but I'm going to hurt you someday. She choked up and said, "Let's separate, I've already decided." "
I was so shocked that I could hardly believe my ears. How could I have made her think that way I loved her so much? I denied it again and again, and explained to her again and again that our relationship was so pure and beautiful.
But Zhang Yu was always indifferent. She said she had grown tired of the relationship and wanted to live a new life. Moreover, she didn't want to be kept by me forever, that kind of life was too undignified for her.
My heart was on the verge of collapse. How could I have imagined that one day she would abandon me so decisively? I spent those days almost in despair, trying here and there to keep her, but she had already made up her mind to leave.
"Zhang Yu, what's wrong with you, why did you suddenly leave me?" I yelled at her, "I love you so much, why are you so cruel?"
"You're possessive, not love!" Zhang Yu also roared, "You don't treat me as a normal person at all, you just treat me as your pet!"
"Where do I have possession of you? It's clear that you agreed to live with me first!"
"But I've never thought of it as a true love! You're just supporting me, where is the real affection between us?"
We had a big fight like that. Zhang Yu even slapped me, and I was frightened by this cruel move at the time. Finally, she left the house without looking back and slammed the door on.
I sat on the couch with my mind blank. I love Zhang Yu with all my heart, how did I come to this point today? I was so sad that tears burst out of my eyes at once.
For the next few days, I almost lost the meaning of my life. Zhang Yu has already moved out of our residence, and he didn't even leave the last thing behind. I spent the whole day alone at home, staring at the traces she had left behind.
Sometimes I take out a picture of her, look at her bright face, and think of the bits and pieces of time we used to get along, and tears will flow involuntarily. I began to regret why I had forced her to live with her, knowing that she was reluctant in the first place.
But on the other hand, why wasn't she taking advantage of me? She first accepted my courtship, and then suddenly turned her face when I gave everything I had, which made me feel hurt and angry.
But, no matter what, I did love her. She once gave me happiness and made me realize what sincere feelings are. Even if she leaves me in the end, everything that happened between us is the most precious treasure and memory of my life.
After this incident, I began to reflect on some practical problems in the current society. For example, the reason why a girl like Zhang Yu embarked on this road of no return is largely because her family is poor and she is not well educated. If she had been able to make a decent living in the first place, perhaps she would not have been reduced to selling her body for a living.
And the breakdown of our relationship is also largely due to the gap between the rich and the poor. The reason why Zhang Yu always has a grudge against me is that she feels that she is not worthy of a decent person like me. If I had been an ordinary worker, maybe she wouldn't have had so many concerns about our relationship.
Money is often such a double-edged sword, it gives people hope for survival, but it also brings discrimination in identity and status. In this materialistic society, many people have to sell their bodies to make a living, what a sad fact!
I began to reflect on the relationship between money and feelings. Many people always take money too seriously, thinking that as long as they have money, they can buy everything. But where can real feelings be measured by money? Is love a luxury? No, it should be the purest and most sacred thing in the world.
A big reason why Zhang Yu misunderstood me at the beginning was that she regarded my kindness to her as a kind of monetary relationship. She thought I was supporting her, which is why she was so generous and generous. In fact, what I really want to give her is not a monetary gift, but a sincere heart.
Unfortunately, in the end, she didn't realize the sincerity of my heart, and instead blamed it all on money. This made me realize that money is important, but if it is not supported by sincere emotions, it will become a shackle that restricts people's yearning and pursuit of beautiful things.
The value of a person's life is not exactly equal to the amount of his wealth, but also needs to be nourished by sincere emotions and noble ethics. Only when money and emotions are balanced can we live a truly happy and fulfilling life.
After this devastating experience, I began to reflect on the direction of my life. I realized that I had been so engrossed in my work that I had neglected other aspects of my life. In order to fill the emptiness in my heart, I blindly pursued material satisfaction, but forgot to manage my love life well.
Yes, money is important, but it's not enough to pursue it alone. A person also needs to have sincere love and good relationships in order to achieve true happiness. I began to make up my mind to do more in this area.
Gradually, I began to free myself from Zhang Yu's shadow. I realized that she was just a stop in my life, and that I still had a long, long way to go. I should be brave enough to move on, instead of dwelling on the pain of the past.
That's when a new opportunity arose. A well-known company is recruiting executives, and the compensation and benefits are extremely generous. I submitted my application without hesitation, and I quickly passed the interviews and was finally hired.
I started a new job and a new life. The culture of this company is quite inclusive and humane, and the quality of life of its employees is highly valued. I don't have to work late hours like I used to, and I can enjoy my life to the fullest.
With plenty of free time, I started to pay more attention to my quality of life. I started exercising regularly, and gradually developed some new hobbies, such as playing the piano and chess. My social circle is also expanding and I have made a lot of new friends.
My heart also began to yearn for a new relationship. But this time, I will remember the lessons of the past and will not be so blind and impulsive again. I will observe each other well and make sure that we have enough mutual understanding and trust before we can further develop our relationship.
In this way, my life became full and colorful. Every day when I wake up, I thank God for giving me such a great opportunity to start a new life. I secretly resolved that no matter how rough and difficult the road ahead was, I would move forward bravely and pursue the happiness and ideals in my heart.
This experience taught me valuable life lessons. I realized that there is no perfect path to follow in life, only continuous experience and continuous growth. Each of us will encounter setbacks and tribulations on the road of life, and the key is to have enough courage and wisdom to face them instead of running away or giving up.
I also realized that money and affection go hand in hand. Money can bring us material satisfaction, but if we don't have sincere emotions as nourishment, our hearts will become dry and tasteless. On the contrary, if we have the right understanding and grasp of money, and let it become an emotional help rather than a shackle, then we can live a happy and fulfilling life.
I also realized that life is a process of continuous growth. Each of us is a traveler who will never return, even if we occasionally lose our way, as long as we have dreams and determination as our guides, we will eventually find our way to happiness.
Finally, I hope that through my experience, I can give some inspiration and reference to those who are looking for a direction in life. Don't give up the pursuit of happiness because of the frustrations and pains of the past, and don't take money too seriously and ignore the importance of emotions. As long as you arm yourself with wisdom and courage, you will be able to overcome all the difficulties in life and finally find your own world.
And just like that, I started anew and started a new journey in life. I am full of expectations for the future, and I believe that as long as I stick to my dreams and move forward bravely, I will definitely find a happy home.