I've seen a sentence like this:
Blowing out someone else's lamp will not make you brighter, and blocking someone else's path will not make you go further.
In real life, everyone's perception of happiness is different.
Standing in your own perspective and commenting on other people's lives at will, in addition to causing trouble to the other party, it will also leave a reckless impression in the hearts of others.
Not easily evaluating other people's lives is not only a respect for others, but also a reflection of one's own self-cultivation.
It is good for a man to live and give his own light, and not to blow out the lamps of others.
Some time ago, the matter of "engagement by colleagues yin and yang" became a hot search.
The blogger and her boyfriend have been together for six years and have reached the age of marriage, so they decided to get married this year.
After the colleague saw the news, he confirmed it to the blogger through WeChat.
The blogger happily invited the other party to drink the wedding wine, and said that the person should be there, and there was no need to be courteous.
Under normal circumstances, in the face of such a warm invitation, they will gladly accept it.
But this colleague poured cold water at an inopportune time:
"You've just graduated, haven't you? Got married so early, you didn't make any money, and you will have to suffer in the future. ”
The blogger politely explained to his colleague that he and his boyfriend had been in a long-distance relationship for many years, and it was not too early to get engaged now.
But the colleague still refuses to give up, and even says that the blogger does not have a salary of 5,000 now, and he will definitely quarrel over trivial matters such as firewood, rice, oil and salt after getting married.
Hearing this, the blogger was already a little impatient, but he still politely explained that he already had a house and a car, and his salary was enough for daily expenses.
The colleague turned a deaf ear and insisted that the blogger was bragging.
The blogger couldn't bear it anymore, no longer cared about the other party's face, and fought back angrily, and the other party shut up in amusement.
I remembered a quote I once saw: "If you don't understand other people's hearts, keep your mouth shut." ”
Just as fish can't live in the same sea, we can't live without any difference from others.
So a lot of times, it's actually hard for us to empathize.
Sometimes an inadvertent sentence may ruin the other party's hard-won happiness.
What is not worth mentioning in your eyes may be regarded as a treasure by others.
If you measure others by your own standards, you may not get praise, but you may also be self-deprecating.
The rarest realization of adults is to respect each other's differences.
Sometimes, quietly releasing one's kindness and giving people just the right fulfillment is a choice to get the best of both worlds.
In the variety show "Attention Tourists", Xiao Ming and No are the two guests at the same time.
Xiao Ming is a top student who graduated from Tsinghua Academy of Fine Arts, and is also a graduate student of Harvard University.
When Xiao Ming introduced himself at the dinner table, he mentioned that he graduated from Tsinghua University, and if not, he stood up and strongly objected.
Whether it is denied that Tsinghua Academy of Fine Arts does not represent Tsinghua University, Xiao Ming is labeling himself with Tsinghua University.
But in fact, as a second-level college of Tsinghua University, the Academy of Fine Arts has very high requirements for the comprehensive quality of students.
Considering the large number of people present, Xiao Ming did not argue too much about this.
When Zhang Yuqi praised Xiao Ming's appearance and strength, did he stand up and complain that Xiao Ming was all titles, and he didn't have real talent.
Even if someone stands up and explains that Xiao Ming is sincere, it is not just a vain, otherwise he is still unmoved.
In the face of many difficulties of no, Xiao Ming did not choose to fight back in public, but to find no to solve it privately.
But no matter how Xiao Ming explains, he will always hold on to these questions.
In the end, it was Zhang Yuqi who came forward to mediate, and the matter came to an end.
In life, we often see the following scenarios:
got a decent job with his own strength, but was said by others to be a relation;
saved a lot of money by frugality, but was framed by others for unknown origins;
Giving a helping hand to those in need is misinterpreted by others as a gesture.
Desperately pulling down the other party's level, but it is just to cover up his own shortcomings.
As the writer Sanmao said: "Your various annotations to me do not constitute one ten-thousandth of me, but you can see you at a glance." ”
Denying others will not make you better, but will expose your own inferiority complex and unbearable in your heart.
A person with a rich heart knows how to applaud others and generously acknowledge the excellence of others.
There is a line in the TV series "The World": "People's pursuits are different, there is no high or low." ”
Everyone has their own favorite way of life, maybe the honey of A is the arsenic of B.
Standing in one's own perspective and judging the lives of others at will only alienate each other.
Netizen @Alai shared his experience.
At a class reunion, Alai meets an old classmate he hasn't seen in a long time.
This student works within the system, is highly motivated, and has a bright future.
The old classmates met each other very cordially, chatted all the way, and talked about their respective lives and careers.
Throughout the chat, he kept persuading Alai to take the civil service exam as soon as possible.
Alai said that he likes the challenging working atmosphere in the company very much, and has no plans to take the public examination for the time being.
Unexpectedly, when the old classmates heard it, they bitterly listed the disadvantages of private enterprises:
Enterprises often work overtime, there are no benefits, not to mention, and there is a risk of being fired at any time, what future can you have in working in this kind of company?
Alai could only emphasize to him repeatedly that although the public examination was good, it was not his pursuit.
Unexpectedly, the old classmate continued to taunt: "You don't go to work to pursue stability and high welfare, do you want to be a good person?"
Alai was speechless for a moment, and no longer explained, and parted ways after eating.
In The Man Who Stole Shadows, Mark Levy wrote:
"You can't interfere in the other person's life, even if it's for the other person's good, because it's his life. ”
There is no standard answer to life, and everyone has the right to choose the life they like.
Some people like the bustle and prosperity of Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, and some people yearn for the plain and stable of small counties;
Some people enjoy each other's three meals and four seasons, and some people yearn for a free life without fettering.
Not judging other people's lives easily and respecting others' ways of living is the greatest sobriety for adults.
Yin Ye, CEO of Huada Group, once said:
The beauty of the earth is due to the fact that it has not given up any kind of color. There is no single criterion for success, and life should be full of flowers.
A truly intelligent person will never put his hand into someone else's world.
Compared with self-righteous opinions, not disturbing the happiness of others can better reflect one's own self-cultivation;
Compared with exaggerated debasement, not denying the light of others, it can show your own bearing;
Compared with serious exhortations, not criticizing other people's pursuits can bring each other closer together.
For the rest of my life, I hope that you and I can be quietly kind to others, and we can also be treated gently by others.