At any stage of life, whether it is adolescence or menopause, do not give it a special meaning, do not treat it as a special period that needs special treatment.
Because the more you deal with it as a special period, the more you may magnify some normal phenomena, and then the behavior will be somewhat inappropriate.
There is no so-called special period that affects the maturity of the mind because of some changes in age or physical characteristics.
Adolescent children often think that they are very close to an adult and no longer need too much intervention and discipline from their parents.
They will also do many things to reject their parents in order to prove that they are no longer children.
They crave recognition, respect, and understanding from their parents or other adults, and they also crave freedom from parental control.
Knowing this, many parents will no longer stubbornly believe that their children lack discipline, and repeatedly implement stricter "education" of beating and scolding.
"For most children, they become freer and more independent as they reach puberty," Adler said. They feel that they have grown up and that their parents are no longer able to monitor and discipline them."
At this time, if parents continue to use coercive means to suppress their children's natural reactions, then in exchange for the so-called rebellion and confrontation.
The age span of this stage is very large, probably from the age of 14 to the age of 20. So what parents have to do at this time is to respect that the children have undergone some physical changes and need more independent space, and at the same time, the children need to accept the changes that have occurred in themselves, which is not easy for them.
Adolescence can make a child's heart restless, because this long stage is also the stage that requires them to prepare mentally in advance to enter the adult world.
Parents may think of these thoughts as little thoughts, but for them they are a sign that they are touching the edge of thinking.
They will begin to think about everything related to their present and future, and on the one hand, they will feel that they can do anything, and on the other hand, they will not be able to accept the changes brought about by their physical development, which can lead to low self-esteem, and of course, the sexual behavior that parents do not know how to mention to their children, that is, the exploration of the body.
What do parents need to pay attention to at this time?
1. For children who are afraid of the future, they will not be able to focus on their studies because of psychological pressure, and the more their parents criticize and yell at them, the more they worry that they will disappoint their parents, so they are easy to escape;
2. Adolescent children's inner feelings are actually sensitive and rich, parents should observe more things that children are interested in in daily communication, and give them a certain amount of patience when they are interested in sharing something, rather than just focusing on grades and blindly suppressing them;
3. Some children will imitate the posture and consumption concept of adults, or have sex with the opposite sex, and they are very eager to become adults. If they make a mistake at this time and it is not discovered, they will continue these self-righteous behaviors;
4. Some children will become reticent and hold back their thoughts in their hearts;
5. Adolescent children will face greater pressure than before, concentration will be weakened, and self-control behavior will be relatively poor. They are usually aware of the problem, but they just don't know how to face it;
6. Children who have been neglected since childhood will want to be appreciated by others during adolescence, but at this time, teachers and parents need to pay enough attention and guide them, rather than continue to ignore them;
7. Adolescent children will pay more attention to gender relations than before. One thing to note here is that because of the relationship between physical development during puberty, children will begin to pay attention to physical changes, and at the same time, the management of parent-child relationship in the original family also needs parents' timely attention.
8. Some girls who are close to boys will develop bad habits close to boys, such as smoking, drinking, and scolding;
9. From the age of two, the child needs to make him clear about his gender, and not to make jokes about gender, such as a boy who looks like a girl, or what are the characteristics of a girl, etc., these guidance may make him confused about gender;
10. If a child over a year old has the action of touching his sexual organs, parents can divert the child's attention to other places instead of deliberately stopping him. That is, don't lead your child to focus too much on this aspect;
11. Ibid., the book says that some adults, when recalling memories of their sexual provocations, will always mention that they found their parents' personal belongings in their homes during their childhood, including magazines, pictures, or videos related to them. The author emphasizes that "if the child's sexual drive is not aroused, his development will not have problems in this regard." ”
12. Defensive arousal methods also include parents who are worried that their children know too little about sex and instill a lot of sexual knowledge in them. The right thing to do is to find that your child is starting to be interested in this area and take the initiative to talk about the topic and tell them what they want to know. When children find themselves accepted and understood, they will not hide their curiosity;
13. Parents should not show excessive intimacy, children may not get used to it, or it may be very awkward. Children of different genders need to sleep in separate rooms, older children and younger children need to sleep in separate rooms, and parents and children need to sleep in separate rooms;
14. For the child's growth process, parents can not understand the behavior, do not look at it with a filter, so as not to cause inappropriate communication when getting along with the child, it is not easy to manage any relationship, especially the parent-child relationship, but it is very necessary to pay more attention and observe the child's personality, preferences, habits, etc. Only by understanding can we understand, and only by understanding can we truly teach students according to their aptitude.
Today's sharing is still from the book "What Does Your Life Mean", and the important content related to adolescence in the book has basically been sorted out.
If you want to understand what children are paying attention to at this stage, you can go to major social platforms to see what relevant age groups post and participate in the discussion, so as to deepen the understanding of this group of adolescents from the side, which is also more conducive to establishing positive communication with children.
The above is today's sharing, I hope parents and friends can have a good parent-child relationship, and I also hope that adolescent children can solve more confusion and keep a happy mood.
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