Hello everyone, I'm Yumi MaMa~
Have you noticed that today's children are particularly psychologically fragile, and a little word from parents will cause a great reaction.
My neighbor's son, who is in the fifth grade, had an argument with his mother last week over hair problems.
The reason is that the mother thinks that her son spends too much time on hairstyling, which affects his learning, so she asks the child to cut his hair.
But the child felt that the hairstyle should be decided by himself, and the mother did not respect herself, so the mother and son quarreled, and in the end, the child smashed a bunch of things and slammed the door.
Mom didn't understand, why was the boy so stinky and beautiful? The most angry thing was that he dared to drop things!
Looking at the broken vases and fruit bowls all over the floor, the neighbor's mother suddenly realized that there might be something wrong with her son's mental health.
I made an appointment with a psychiatrist, and after seeing a doctor, I was diagnosed with "bipolar tendencies".
At this time, the mother panicked, she didn't understand, isn't it natural for parents to discipline their children? Why can't children say anything now?
Indeed, such confusion is becoming more and more prominent in our generation of parents.
In our memory, when we were children, we were often scolded by our elders or parents, but we were beaten, we should eat, drink, and play, and we forgot it within two days.
But today's children say a few words, either they have a cold war with their parents, or they have a tendency to be depressed. You will even see children who choose to commit suicide because of the scolding of their parents.
Now not only parents, but also school teachers, when criticizing children, must organize their own wording so as not to irritate children.
In the face of "crispy" children, many parents began to reflect. Is it that these children are too well protected, and the children do not have any exposure to frustration, which makes them more susceptible to psychological problems?
At first glance, this explanation seems to make some sense. But is that really the case? Not necessarily.
Why used to be scolded every day, and there were few psychological problems
I have seen a set of statistics, the prevalence of depression among children and adolescents in mainland China is 19.85%, and in the central region, the proportion is as high as 23.7%.
This means that almost one out of every five children suffers from depression.
Not only that, the statistics of the "China National Mental Health Development Report" show that the number of outpatient visits for children and adolescents with psychological problems is increasing rapidly at a rate of 10% per year, indicating that the psychological tolerance of this generation of children has become more and more "crispy".
Through analysis, researchers found that children's psychological tolerance is getting worse and worse, in fact, it is not just because parents are too well protected.
There are several reasons for this:
First of all, there are differences in the way of family education in different contexts.
In the past, there was a lack of knowledge and books on family education, and people lacked scientific educational concepts, and many parents preferred to use strict discipline methods to educate their children.
This kind of education method was widely recognized when we were young, not only did the parents not think it was a big deal, but the children would not take it as a big deal, after all, the children around us were scolded and beaten up like this.
Now, with the popularization of science education, more and more parents want to educate their children with a gentle and respectful attitude.
Children who have been accustomed to being treated gently since childhood, and when they are coldly reprimanded, they will not be able to accept this contrast.
Second, there were more ways for children to release before
We have to admit that the environment in which our generation was a child would have been much less stressful than it is now.
At that time, children also face less competition and pressure, and they have more time to play, explore, and enjoy a carefree childhood.
However, today's children live in the era of information explosion, not only to deal with the pressure from academics, family, social and other aspects, but also to face the impact and temptation of online information.
Nowadays, the children's time is spent in various interest classes in addition to studying. There are few other ways for children to release stress.
If stress is not released for a long time, it will naturally have an impact on the child's body and mind.
Finally, today's children are precocious
In the past, children lived in a more simple environment, with limited exposure to external information and stimuli, and their physical and psychological development was relatively slow.
Today's children can access all kinds of knowledge at will, and the amount of information they are exposed to every day is several times that of the past, coupled with the dissemination of all kinds of network information, so that children can enter the adult society earlier, resulting in the self-awakening speed of this generation of children is much faster.
Although there is a wealth of information, children's psychological growth takes time to polish, which leads to many children who are not yet fully mature in their hearts, and are easily guided by some negative information.
For example, if you are scolded by your parents, your children may rise to the level of "disrespect for yourself" by their parents, which will cause a rift in the parent-child relationship in the long run.
How to reduce your child's psychological problems
We can't change the environment in which children live, but as parents, we still need to start from the details to help children reduce the probability of psychological problems.
Suggestions can be made from the following aspects:
●Establish a good communication mechanism
Have regular one-on-one conversations with your child to understand their thoughts, feelings, and confusions.
We need to encourage children to express their emotions and thoughts, and give them full listening and understanding.
●Provide a warm, relaxed and comfortable family environment
Avoid using too much verbal reprimand or physical scolding in the family, and try to use persuasion and education.
Parents should be good role models and influence and educate their children through their own actions.
●Encourage your child to participate in outdoor activities and sports
Parents should accompany their children to participate in outdoor sports, such as swimming and table tennis, which can help them vent negative emotions and improve positive feelings.
●Cultivate children's ability to cope with stress
In daily life, create some challenges and difficulties for children, so that they can learn to adjust their mentality and ask for help in the face of setbacks.
● Keep an eye on your child's online activity
Parents are advised to keep an eye on their children's online activity, have regular open, honest conversations with them, educate them on how to identify risks online, and establish good online habits.
Parents are the first line of defense to prevent their children from developing psychological problems, and only when we give them enough support and guidance can we help them build a positive and healthy mind.
I sincerely suggest that families with a less harmonious parent-child relationship may wish to start with the above aspects to check themselves, maybe there will be surprises.
Today's topic: In addition to the above points, what do you think is the reason why today's children are becoming more and more unspeakable?