Author / Shiyan cypress and psychological Qu Harrier Qi
Editor/Shiyan Bai and Psychology Zou Yue
Most children suddenly don't go to school, which may not be a symptom, but a circuit breaker mechanism for self-protection. Your child's environment may be anxious, depressed, fearful, and avoidant. So he left this environment so that his physical and mental state would not continue to deteriorate. Parents will find that after their children do not go to school, those emotional anxiety, depression, fear, avoidance, and self-injurious somatization behaviors seem to be alleviated a lot suddenly.
It is not meaningless for a child to lie flat at home, and it may be a way for the child to repair himself physically and mentally. However, parents must encourage their children, and create opportunities for their children to participate in outdoor activities, let them go out with friends, or enroll their children in some interest classes that they usually enjoy, so as to avoid the degradation of their children's social functions caused by long-term homeness to a certain extent.
Some children are able to return to school after a period of lying down and self-healing, even without psychological and medical intervention. There are also some children who have basically recovered their psychological and emotional state after a period of rest, but there will be some minor problems and troubles when they return to school, so this requires psychological and medical intervention.
So parents may have a lot of questions, why is the child intolerant to the school environment at the school stage, especially in middle school, and there is no way to adjust it?
More than ten years ago, workers in a large electronics factory jumped thirteen times in a row. This has led many people on the Internet to ask, if you are under a lot of pressure at work, you can quit your job, why do you continue to work until the end of your life? It is likely that workers feel pain in a high-pressure work environment for a long time, and they are not thinking about stopping work and returning home.
As they grow up, the family may not have served as a safe haven. For example, his family knows that he has a problem and always thinks that he is too fragile and encourages him to continue to persevere, or his family feels that he has no income if he does not work and is easy to be lazy at home. Their jobs are under constant pressure, and their families do not protect them, leaving workers in a desperate situation from which they have no way out.
So in the same way, when a child suddenly retreats from school to home, it must be that he feels pressured in the outside world, and the student thinks that the family is safe and that he can return at any time. At this time, parents should not only not drive their children out, but also provide support and tolerance to their children.
The child has been lying at home for a long time, which is not the most terrible, the terrible thing is that the child has some psychological problems and retreats to the home, he refuses to receive psychological counseling, refuses to go to the hospital, refuses to go to school, and refuses to communicate with parents. In psychological counseling, this kind of uncooperative and non-communicative child is called a lack of motivation for counseling, and psychological counseling is not helpless for unmotivated clients.
In this case, the most common way of operation in the field of psychology is to let the child's parents come for psychological counseling first. However, many parents are not too interested in this suggestion, and some parents think that psychological counseling can only really be effective when it is applied to their children, and that their own counseling cannot be effective, which is actually a subconscious effort by parents to evade their own responsibilities and try to outsource their responsibility for managing their children to others.
If a child has a problem, why do parents need to receive psychological counseling first?
The object relationship theory suggests that many of the child's problems may be caused by the family of origin. If you improve the way the original family gets along with the child, as well as the family environment, it can play a positive role in the child's psychological problems.
In general, if parents receive counseling first, they can tell the counselor what kind of state the child is in now, what kind of thoughts and behaviors are lying at home, as well as major life events in the past, social learning and past health history.
Even if the child does not want to come for a consultation, the counselor can use the comprehensive information provided by the parent to conduct a general assessment of the child.
Secondly, through psychological counseling, parents can also learn some ways to deal with their children's psychological problems, and the relationship model of getting along with their children correctly, which can further influence the changes of their children by changing parents to a certain extent.
The child suddenly lies flat at home, which may be a form of self-protection to prevent the problem from getting worse. When the child is unwilling to cooperate and communicate, the parents must receive psychological counseling first.