When I was young, I thought that marriage was the whole of a woman's life, and it was the destination of a woman's happiness. However, when I reached middle age, I lost myself in this dull marriage, and even fell in love with a married man later.
Looking back now, I deeply realize that middle-aged women should no longer be as simple as girls, and there is no real affection between married people.
01
My husband and I have been married for more than 10 years, and the triviality and ordinariness of life have gradually eroded our love.
He, the man who was once not good at words but would show love with his actions, has now become more and more reticent. During that time, he was getting busier and busier with his work, coming home later and later, and talking to each other less and less.
I feel more and more that he can't give the warmth and love I long, and our marriage is like a pool of stagnant water, and there are no waves.
Just when I was feeling lonely and helpless, I met the man. He's married and has a similar story to me, and he says he and his wife have long since run out of things to talk to.
We are like two wandering souls who have found each other in the vast sea of people. His sweet words are like sweet honey, which makes me intoxicated, and his careful care is like warm sunshine, which makes me feel the love I have not felt for a long time.
I remember it was a moonlit night and we had a date at a café. He said to me, "You know what? I've always thought you're special, there's something distressing in your eyes. I lowered my head and smiled shyly.
He continued: "I feel like we're on the same page and we can give each other a chance to try a new relationship. I hesitated, but the deep desire in my heart made me nod.
02
And so we began a long secret relationship.
Every day, he would send me sweet text messages that made my heart flutter. Once, he even called in the middle of the night and whispered, "I miss you, do you miss me?"
However, when I was immersed in this immoral relationship, I never thought about what the future should be.
Later, I became more and more attached to him, and for his sake, I decided to give up my marriage and pursue that so-called true love. I thought that if I left that indifferent husband, I would be able to spend the rest of my life happily with him.
However, when I finally mustered up the courage to divorce and asked him to be with him for real, he hesitated. He said to me, "I'm sorry, I can't do that. Although my wife and I don't have a common language, I can't abandon her and my son. ”
I was stunned, unable to believe my ears. I asked him, "Aren't all the things you said before false? Didn't you say you loved me very much?"
He was silent for a moment, and then whispered: "I'm sorry, I really like you, but I can't give up my family for you, can't we just go on like this?
At that moment, my heart was like a knife. I gave up everything for him, and he sent me away so easily. I regret my impulsiveness and blindness, and I regret not cherishing the happiness I originally had.
03
After breaking up with him, I wanted to go back to my ex-husband and son, but I didn't have the face to go home. I knew that my actions had hurt them so deeply that I couldn't face them.
Now, I stand at the crossroads of my life, bearing the trauma of this relationship alone.
After a love catastrophe, I really understood: when people reach middle age, they can no longer be as simple as a girl, nor can they easily believe the sweet words of others, let alone give up their original family for a momentary passion.
In fact, true happiness is often hidden in those ordinary days, which need to be discovered and felt with our hearts.
Message from the setting moon:
There are many lessons in our married life, sometimes we blame our partner for not cherishing ourselves, and sometimes we blame ourselves for not knowing how to cherish.
In fact, it's not terrible not to be cherished, but the terrible thing is that I divorced for extramarital feelings, and I didn't get love in the end. In the end, it can only be a matter of things and people, and the rest of your life will be wasted.
Therefore, when a woman reaches middle age, she must have the appearance of a woman, as a mother and wife, she must know how to grasp her bottom line.
Finally, I would like to say that after middle age, no matter how much time is abundant and how lonely life is, she must not change her mind.
I hope you can remember: only by cherishing marriage can you have a happy family, and in married life, you can have a better marriage if you don't easily stir up your feelings. The older you get, the more you should cherish your family, and you should try to focus on your family as much as possible. In addition, in the attitude towards certain "love", there should be less unrealistic fantasies.