#越南媳妇##跨国婚恋##越南姑娘到中国##爱情故事#
This is the 3,734th real story we have told
My name is Xiao Nan @ Vietnamese daughter-in-law Xiao Nan, and I am a Vietnamese daughter-in-law who has been married to China for 12 years. My acquaintance and bond with my husband is outrageous. At that time, I listened to my cousin's rhetoric and went to China with her despite my parents' dissuasion.
But she introduced me to a few unreliable ones one after another, and I rejected them all. When I felt remorseful and wanted to go back to Vietnam, my cousin said that she had paid for the visa and plane ticket in advance, and forced me to pay back.
Seeing that my visa would expire one day, I had no choice but to bite the bullet and see the last object. My cousin said he was only 6 years older than me. But I saw that he was much older than me, and although I didn't like him, I had to reluctantly agree in order to get out and go back to Vietnam.
I thought that as long as I "escaped" back to Vietnam, everything would be fine, but soon my cousin and cousin-in-law brought the man to Vietnam to find me, and said that they would give 30 million VND and gold jewelry as a bride price. My parents agreed, so what should I do?
(Vietnamese wedding photo of me and my husband)
Born in 1991 in a rural family in Tay Le district, Can Tho city, Vietnam. My parents gave birth to three of our sisters, and I was the second.
When I was a child, my family conditions were very poor, and my parents were authentic farmers, relying on only a few acres of thin land to support their families. The family is crammed into a dilapidated thatched house, and at night they can see the moon in the sky from their bed. Especially when it rains heavily, it is the hardest for our family. Because the house was leaking, we had to fill the floor with pots for water.
Because my family was poor, I only went to junior high school, and I came out to work at the age of 14. Rural girls in Vietnam get married relatively early, so from the time I was sixteen or seventeen years old, my parents began to help me arrange blind dates. I've seen a few of them one after another, but I didn't agree with them.
Because I grew up seeing my dad and some men around me often come back to punch and kick my wife after drinking a little alcohol, which made me hate marrying Vietnamese men since I was a child.
In rural Vietnam, women not only have to take care of their children and in-laws, but also have to work in the fields. Although a woman serves the whole family like a free nanny, she is worthless in the eyes of her in-laws, and everyone takes it for granted.
(When I first came to China)
I didn't want to live this hard and disrespectful life, and I didn't want to marry a Vietnamese man who loved to drink and always beat his wife, so I didn't marry until I was 22 years old. At that time, I also had a preliminary understanding of China on TV, knowing that China's economy is very developed, and Chinese women's family status is very high, and men love their wives very much, so they yearn for China.
I really got involved with China in 2011. At that time, I had a cousin who had married into China and went back to her parents' house to visit her. During the chat, she told me that China is very good, and men are also considerate and gentle, and never beat their wives.
I was very envious when I heard this, and my cousin asked me if I would like to marry in China, and if so, she would take me to China when I returned to China. If there is a suitable object, help me introduce one, if there is no suitable all-when travel.
Moreover, she also said that she would pay for the journey. As soon as I heard this, I was moved, thinking that it was my cousin, and she would never cheat me, so I came to China with her.
But after I came to China, she introduced me to a few people who were either old or ugly, and I was not satisfied. Seeing that my visa was about to expire, I still didn't see any of them. My cousin got a little angry and said that I had to choose one, and she didn't pay for my journey. Otherwise, even if I go back, even if I smash the pot and sell iron, I will have to pay her all the expenses for coming to China.
When I heard this, I was stunned, I didn't expect that my cousin was not kind enough to bring me to China to play, the main purpose was to introduce me to Chinese men who couldn't marry wives.
Now that she plans to make a bath, she turns her face and doesn't recognize anyone. When my cousin and I came to China, my parents didn't agree, but now I still owe a debt after running for nothing, how can I explain to my parents when I go back?
(We are now a family of four)
Because I was entangled in the matter of travel expenses, I had to meet another blind date the next day: Lao Liu. Before meeting, my cousin said that Lao Liu was a native of Wenzhou, Zhejiang, born in 84, with a house and a car, and was still a teacher. As soon as I heard that I was only 6 years older than me and that the conditions were not bad, I met with confidence.
After meeting, I found that although this man was not ugly, he was obviously much older than me. To be honest, I didn't like it at all, but because of the travel expenses, I had to deal with my cousin and say that it was okay, so she wouldn't let me pay the travel expenses.
The next day was the day I went back to Vietnam, and I thought that as long as I went back to Vietnam and didn't contact Lao Liu, the matter would gradually be over. Not long after, he applied for a visa for my cousin and cousin-in-law to come to Vietnam to find me.
They went to my cousin's house first, and then they came to my house together. At first, my parents disagreed, and my aunt (my cousin's mother) tempted me with a bride price.
She said that when my cousin-in-law married my cousin, the bride price was a gold necklace, a gold ring, a gold bracelet and gold earrings, as well as 30 million VND (about 10,000 yuan at that time), and I would also give it according to this standard when Lao Liu married me. At that time, such a bride price was not affordable for ordinary people in Vietnam, and my parents were a little moved.
(When I was about to give birth to two treasures)
I didn't like such a generous bride price, but I didn't have the money to pay my cousin for going to China if I didn't agree, so I had to agree. Then my cousin first gave our family 10 million VND (about 3,000 yuan) to be considered a marriage.
Later, my cousin let Lao Liu live in my house. My house was narrow and there was no place to sleep, so he slept on the floor. My parents would help him with whatever they did, and gradually our family had a good impression of him. Lao Liu has been living in my house for almost a month and wants to take me to China.
I said that the bride price and gold jewelry had not been given yet, and Lao Liu said that he gave my cousin 45,000 yuan before he came, which included the bride price, the money for documents and plane tickets.
So he asked my cousin to take out the rest of the bride price money and buy me gold jewelry. But my cousin didn't want to give me the remaining VND 20 million in bride price, nor did she want to buy me gold jewelry. also told Lao Liu that I was all kinds of bad, and asked Lao Liu not to ask me, and she would find another one for him.
But Lao Liu said that he had been at my house for almost a month, and he knew very well what kind of person I was. Even if I don't agree to marry him, he won't change to another one, and it's a big deal to return home alone.
I saw that Lao Liu was so persistent with me, so I didn't entangle with my cousin anymore and agreed to marry him. Then Lao Liu got his own documents, bought a plane ticket, and took me to China.
He brought me to China, and the first place I came to was Sanming, Fujian, and I found out that the house he lived in was actually shared with a friend, and the so-called car was actually a broken electric car. But at that time, I didn't understand it, thinking that the house and car might be in his hometown in Wenzhou.
(Dabao when he was a child)
Lao Liu took me to buy daily necessities and clothes, arranged all aspects of me properly, and usually cooked and did laundry. All these chores are done by women in Vietnam, but he doesn't let me do anything, so I feel that he is very considerate of me, which deepens my affection for her.
Later, he took me to see his work, and I realized that my cousin said that he was a teacher, and it turned out that he was just a carpenter at a construction site. As for the age, it is not 84 years, but 74 years, which is 16 years older than me.
At the time, I was disappointed, but I thought that it was already a boat, as long as he had a stable job. Because through this period of getting along, I feel that he is hardworking, loyal and considerate, and more reliable than Vietnamese men.
We stayed in Fujian for more than 10 days, and he took me back to my hometown to get a marriage certificate. When I arrived at my hometown, I saw a very grand house and I thought it was his, but just as I was full of joy, he told me that it was his eldest sister's house. At that time, I was still holding on to the luck mentality, thinking that his eldest sister had such a house, and his family was not much worse.
After lunch at his eldest sister's house, when he was about to take me to his house, relatives and friends called him aside to whisper and look at me from time to time. I was suspicious, not knowing what they were talking about. Later, my husband took me back to his house and walked a long way up the mountain to get there.
(My husband looks at the newborn Erbao)
When he pointed to a few dilapidated houses on the top of the hill and told me that this was his house, I cried in disappointment.
The house was dilapidated and dirty, and there were still chickens and ducks in it, and there was chicken and duck droppings everywhere, and there was no place to sit.
I turned around and stood outside crying, when an old man came out, and Lao Liu introduced me that this was his father. The old man hurriedly took out a chair from the house, wiped it with his sleeve and let me sit, and took out 500 yuan from his pocket and stuffed it in my hand.
I was so sad that I didn't want to say a word, and I sat there crying all the time. Lao Liu told me that in fact, before returning home, his relatives and friends reminded him not to take me there, worried that I would be disappointed when I saw it, and even if I didn't run at that time, I would run away.
But Lao Liu said that the paper can't contain the fire, even if he lied to me at the time, I will know sooner or later, so it is better to face the reality. If I am still willing to stay after seeing his family in such a dilapidated situation, it proves that I will live a good life with him.
If I don't want to go back to Vietnam with him, then he can only accept his fate and will not force me.
Lao Liu also told me that he didn't know what my cousin told me, but he definitely didn't lie to me. If I couldn't take it, he sent me back.
If I think he still has some merits in this person, give him a chance, and he will use his life to be good to you. Although he kept comforting me, I still cried sadly and told me to go in to eat and I didn't eat.
(Husband and Xiaobao are lying in bed)
Later, Lao Liu's sister, uncle, and aunt also came to comfort me. His father brought me the food directly and persuaded me to eat first. If I really didn't want to stay, they sent me back. Don't worry about the money, they don't want me to pay for the back trip. With that, his father took the money out of his pocket and gave it to me.
Some of Lao Liu's family members patted me on the shoulder to express comfort, and some wiped my tears.
After a while, I figured it out. I think my cousin lied to me, and I don't blame Lao Liu. If Lao Liu deliberately lied to me, he would not tell me the truth about him in all aspects, let alone take me back to his hometown. Even if I wanted to regret it, he didn't force me and sent me back to Vietnam, it seems that his character is really good.
And his relatives and friends are also very good, he has a job, I have food and clothing with him, and my life is not too bad. It doesn't matter if he doesn't have money for the time being, as long as he is diligent, he can slowly make money in the future.
So, I said to Lao Liu: "I'll give you a chance." If you're nice to me, I'll stay. If it's not good for me, I'll have to go back to Vietnam sooner or later. ”
Lao Liu was overjoyed and agreed. The next day, we went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to apply for a marriage certificate, and after doing so, we went to live in Fujian. At that time, I didn't tell my parents about my husband's situation, I always reported good news and not bad news, and I didn't want them to worry about me.
(Me and two sons)
I came to the construction site with Lao Liu, and the house we rented was our small home. I'm afraid that I won't be used to eating Chinese food, so every time I go out to eat, he will give me every dish to taste, eat what I like, let me put it in his bowl if I don't like it, and keep clipping it to me when he sees what I like to eat.
He does all the laundry and cooking at home, and when I go to work, he is afraid that I will be bored at home, so he takes me to the construction site to play. I also bought a bunch of snacks and fruits and asked me to wait for him while eating and playing.
I was very touched by Lao Liu's care for me, and I decided to live a good life with him, and then I started to learn to cook, so that he could come back and rest.
When I first came to China, I was so homesick that I called back every day. At that time, I had no idea about Chinese money, and I didn't know how expensive it was to make international calls on a card machine.
At that time, I made a phone bill of 1,200 yuan a month, and my husband didn't blame me. As soon as I said I had no money to pay, he bought me a new card.
A card can only be used for 50 minutes, at first he bought me a phone card for ten or ten, and then he only bought me two cards, so I angrily blamed him for being too stingy and crying and making trouble.
(Two babies playing together)
He didn't defend himself and kept wiping my tears. When I calmed down, he told me that it wasn't that he didn't want me to call my mother's family, but that a calling card was 50 yuan, and he could only buy 4 cards for a day's work.
I felt very guilty when I heard this, and since then I have called my mother's house less often. Because I think my husband is working hard to make money, I should learn to be thrifty.
In 2013, our eldest son was born. Because we don't have a mother-in-law, we both made the confinement by ourselves. It's hard, but we're happy.
Not long after I was happy, news came from my hometown that my father-in-law had fallen at home and was hospitalized. My Lao Liu immediately rushed back to take care of his father, leaving me and my newborn baby in Fujian.
Who knew that after my father-in-law fell, he suffered from Alzheimer's disease, lying in bed, unable to take care of himself. When Lao Liu told me this on the phone, he choked up with worry.
I comforted him not to worry, then bring my father-in-law to Fujian, and I will take care of my son and take care of him by the way. Lao Liu was moved to tears, he didn't expect that I would not dislike my father-in-law and be willing to take care of him.
(The family is happy)
At that time, my eldest son was only five or six months old, and Lao Liu went to work every day, and I took care of the children and father-in-law at home. My father-in-law first knew how to eat some food, but then he could only eat gruel, which I fed spoonful by spoonful.
Later, my father-in-law couldn't eat anymore and could only drink a little milk. Seeing that his condition was in critical condition, and the old man wanted to go back to his hometown, we had to rent an ambulance to take him back to his hometown.
After my father-in-law died, Lao Liu and I settled down with him and came to live in Fujian, and rarely returned to my hometown in Zhejiang. Lao Liu has been working on a construction site in Fujian, and I take care of the children at home to do laundry and cooking. After having our second son, we used the money we saved to buy a small house of 50 square meters in Fujian. It's not big, but we finally have our own home.
Usually Lao Liu works as a carpenter master on the construction site, and I pick up and drop off my children from school at home, and I go to the construction site to help him in my free time.
Life is a bit hard, but it's also full of joy and happiness. In the past 12 years of marriage, Lao Liu has always been good to me, and he has never been willing to kill me. Although we have only been back to Vietnam twice in the 12 years of marriage, my parents have not blamed me and recognize Lao Liu.
(Birthday husband sends "flowers")
When I celebrated my birthday last year, I didn't expect my coarse husband to surprise me. He gave me a special gift, which was 99 "flowers" made of 99 hundred-dollar bills, tied into a large "flower" bouquet, representing his long-lasting love for me.
Later, when he celebrated his birthday, I also folded colorful flowers with my own hands and filled a box full of them for him. When he held a very ordinary but affectionate gift, his face was full of happiness and relief.
Happiness is defined differently for everyone. Many women think that driving a luxury car to live in a villa, wearing gold and silver, eating and drinking spicy food is happiness, but for me, material conditions are not the most important, as long as the husband and wife are affectionate, loyal to each other, the children are smart and lovely, and the family is safe and healthy, it is happiness.
I think the essence of marriage is not that two of the best people join forces, but that two suitable people huddle together for warmth. It is not a single effort, but a two-way support. Only by working together and cherishing each other can we create a better future.
(Welcome to follow the protagonist's account "Vietnamese daughter-in-law Xiao Nan")
[Dictation: Xiao Nan]
[Editor: Chen Ping]
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