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Text | Edit: Shi Zai has no money
Preface
On November 19, 1931, the poet Xu Zhimo's plane crashed in a mountain fog, ending his colorful and short life. The relationship between Xu Zhimo and his wife Lu Xiaoman has always been complicated, especially in Xu Zhimo's last quarrel before his death, and the way Lu Xiaoman and Zhang Youyi handled the aftermath after his death. Lu Xiaoman's profligacy and Zhang Youyi's selflessness, two completely different female images, make us think: If Xu Zhimo's choice is different, will the outcome of his life change?
Xu Zhimo was born on January 15, 1897, in his hometown of Kipshi Town, Haining County, Zhejiang Province. Born into a wealthy merchant family, the Xu family has been in business for generations and has amassed considerable wealth. Xu Zhimo's father, Xu Shenru, was a well-known local businessman and industrialist, who not only inherited the family's sauce garden business, but also founded the first local money village and became the richest man in Kipshi.
Xu Zhimo grew up with a family of prominent people from all walks of life, and the influence of these figures created a culturally rich environment for him to grow up. Xu Zhimo was a smart and clever child, and he was educated in the academy at the age of nine, and his academic performance was always at the top, especially in the subject of ancient literature.
At the age of fourteen, Xu Zhimo was admitted to the Hangzhou Fu Middle School, where he published his first essay, "On the Relationship between Fiction and Society", showing his early insight into the relationship between literature and society. In 1917, with the merger of the Law Department of Peiyang University into Peking University, Xu Zhimo also transferred to Peking University, further deepening his academic pursuit.
At Peking University, Xu Zhimo studied under Liang Qichao, a thinker and educator who had a profound influence on his thinking and writing. While studying in Beijing, Xu Zhimo witnessed political turmoil and social unrest in China, which inspired him to pursue further studies abroad.
Zhang Youyi entered the palace of marriage when she was only 15 years old and married Xu Zhimo, who has avant-garde ideas. Despite the traditional education she received since childhood, she faithfully played the role of a submissive wife, but Xu Zhimo did not seem to be happy with this.
Xu Zhimo was determined to pursue love freely during college, he was talented and promising, while Zhang Youyi seemed bland and lacked enough knowledge and temperament to match Xu Zhimo. He once commented on the photo of Zhang Youyi when she first met, and bluntly said that she looked like a countryman who had never been in the world. This stark contrast made Xu Zhimo feel more and more impatient with Zhang Youyi.
In 1918, Zhang Youyi gave birth to their first child, Ah Huan. The birth of the child did not shorten the distance between them, but became an opportunity for Xu Zhimo to study in the United States and Britain. In a foreign country, the romantic story of Xu Zhimo and Lin Huiyin began to be staged, and this emotional experience convinced him: "The true happiness of life must be obtained through the pursuit of struggle."
In the romantic years in the UK, Xu Zhimo and Lin Huiyin spent time together, while Zhang Youyi silently endured loneliness and anticipation in China. Although Xu Zhimo is concerned about Lin Huiyin, Zhang Youyi still has the hope of reunion. Under her brother's arrangement, Zhang Youyi came to London with mixed feelings, hoping to rekindle the relationship between the husband and wife.
When she rushed to Xu Zhimo's location excitedly, she was met with indifferent eyes and a perfunctory attitude, which made her miserable. Zhang Youyi once recalled: "I almost felt his gaze ignoring my existence, as if looking into the distance through me. Xu Zhimo was in his married life with Zhang Youyi, and at the same time maintained a secret correspondence with Lin Huiyin. In the end, Lin Huiyin decided to return to China and became engaged to Liang Sicheng, and Zhang Youyi was pregnant again at this time.
Faced with this situation, Xu Zhimo desperately wanted to get rid of the shackles, filed for divorce from Zhang Youyi, and asked her to kill the child. In the face of Xu Zhimo's ruthlessness and determination, although Zhang Youyi was heartbroken, she finally signed a divorce agreement, and she chose to insist on giving birth to the child. Unfortunately, the child died of illness only three years later.
This period was the darkest day in Zhang Youyi's life. And although Xu Zhimo's pursuit of Lin Huiyin failed to achieve his wish, he also fell into deep pain. Then another woman, Lu Xiaoman, appeared in his life, starting another complicated relationship story.
Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman's encounter took place in the Beiping social circle in late 1924 or early 1925. At that time, Xu Zhimo felt emotionally empty because of Lin Huiyin's marriage, and Lu Xiaoman's appearance seemed to bring him new comfort. After a series of setbacks and misunderstandings, the relationship between the two gradually warmed up and finally came together. After getting married, Xu Zhimo hurriedly took Lu Xiaomannan to move to Shanghai and began their so-called "fairy" life.
At first, the couple lived in the same house with Xu Zhimo's parents, and during this period of living together, Lu Xiaoman's behavior frequently touched the traditional concepts of the Xu family. She often coquettishly behaved in front of the Xu family, asking Xu Zhimo to carry her upstairs, or willfully pushing the food she couldn't eat to Xu Zhimo.
Lu Xiaoman's habits and behaviors deeply angered the conservative Xu family's parents, who were greatly dissatisfied with Lu Xiaoman's behavior, and Lu Xiaoman's inability to have children due to health reasons deepened their dissatisfaction with her. The Xu family's parents regarded her as a useless thing, and deep down they couldn't accept such a daughter-in-law.
In this tense atmosphere of the family, Xu Zhimo's life pressure has increased dramatically. In order to support his family's finances, he not only taught part-time at various universities, but also dabbled in writing, participating in the running of friends' newspapers and companies, and working as a real estate agent, helping people buy and sell properties for commissions.
Although Xu Zhimo's income from various jobs is as high as seven or eight hundred oceans per month, it is equivalent to about 150,000 yuan per month in modern monetary terms. However, almost all of this income was consumed by Lu Xiaoman's luxurious life. Lu Xiaoman's lifestyle is like that of a Western noblewoman, and the three-story western-style house she rents in Shanghai is a symbol of her luxurious life.
Faced with Lu Xiaoman's growing consumer demand, Xu Zhimo had to borrow money everywhere to make ends meet. In 1930, at the invitation of Hu Shih, Xu Zhimo gave up his part-time job in Shanghai and Nanjing and moved to Beijing. He teaches at Peking University and Beijing Women's Normal University, hoping the initiative will increase his income. Xu Zhimo had hoped that Lu Xiaoman would accompany him to the north and live together to reduce the financial burden and avoid long-term separation.
Disgusted by Beijing's conservative and rainy climate, and more in love with Shanghai's modern atmosphere and bustling nightlife, Lu Xiaoman decided to stay in Shanghai and enjoy the social and entertainment activities she loves. As a result, Xu Zhimo had to travel frequently between Beijing and Shanghai, making eight trips in the first six months of 1931 alone.
Despite Xu Zhimo's hard work, Lu Xiaoman didn't seem to be aware of his hard work, and was still immersed in her life of playing cards, socializing, and smoking opium. Her extravagant lifestyle frequently caused disputes between husband and wife, and Xu Zhimo felt very suffocated, and he once complained to Lin Huiyin: "Xiaoman's expenses are really amazing. Even so, Xu Zhimo couldn't help but smile bitterly when he said this.
In order to cope with the increasing household expenses, Xu Zhimo had to borrow money from friends. When he was in financial difficulties, he even asked his ex-wife Zhang Youyi for help. Although Xu Zhimo once treated Zhang Youyi coldly, Zhang Youyi lent a helping hand at a critical moment. She said to Xu Zhimo gently: "This money was left to me by my father, and I can use it at any time." Faced with such a scene, Xu Zhimo had mixed feelings in his heart, he did not expect that he would one day rely on the people he had worked hard to abandon financially.
In a conversation with Lu Xiaoman, Xu Zhimo openly and honestly expressed his re-evaluation of Zhang Youyi: "Zhang Youyi has changed a lot, and she has become fearless now. These words show that although life has given Xu Zhimo many challenges, his attitude and feelings towards the people around him are also constantly changing.
In the early morning of November 19, 1931, a deafening loud bang suddenly sounded in the sky south of Jinan. It was the sound of Xu Zhimo's plane crashing, and the fall of the talented poet who was only 34 years old caused a deep shock in the literary and artistic circles.
Xu Zhimo's death not only ended his colorful life, but also caused widespread mourning in the literary and artistic circles. At his funeral, cultural celebrities such as Cai Yuanpei, Mei Lanfang, Yu Dafu and other cultural celebrities sent elegiac couplets one after another to express their regret for this talented man. The funeral presided over by relatives and friends such as Liang Sicheng and Shen Congwen was held at the Shanghai Wanguo Funeral Home, and the scene was so grand that it was rare during the Republic of China.
Jin Yong, who was only seven years old, as Xu's distant cousin, also attended this unforgettable funeral. He later recalled that the scene made him feel the solemnity and sorrow of the emperor, and the conflict between Xu Zhimo's two wives at the funeral became the focus of attention. The contradiction between Zhang Youyi and Lu Xiaoman intensified into the public eye. Originally, Zhang Youyi did not plan to attend to avoid embarrassment, but on the day of the funeral, she received a hurried phone call, urging her to rush to the scene.
Lu Xiaoman lost control of his emotions when he saw Xu Zhimo's body placed in a traditional Chinese-style coffin, wearing a robe and a horse coat. She strongly demanded that Xu Zhimo's body be replaced with a suit, believing that this was in line with his modern spirit. This request angered the Xu family, who already had a lot of dissatisfaction with her. Xu Zhimo's father, Xu Shenru, even raised his crutches, and the scene was very tense for a while.
Zhang Youyi's arrival was supposed to calm the dispute, but Lu Xiaoman's angry rebuke of her made the situation even more complicated. Lu Xiaoman insisted that Xu Zhimo hated the constraints of tradition during his lifetime and should be sent off with Western etiquette. However, given the severe damage to Xu's remains, such a change is not only disrespectful, but almost impossible to implement. The wounds caused by the plane accident need to be partially repaired by a professional mortuary, but even so, Zhang Youyi made meticulous efforts to allow Xu Zhimo to lie intact in the coffin.
In the end, Zhang Youyi resolutely conveyed her decision to everyone: "Lu Xiaoman must not make decisions without authorization. Although Lu Xiaoman still refused to give up, no one responded to her request in the end. This dispute not only showed the contradictions within the Xu family, but also made Lu Xiaoman realize that she had never really been accepted in this family.
Zhang Youyi sat in the spacious living room, holding a cup of untouched green tea in her hand, the moonlight outside the window penetrated, and her face glowed with a faint silver light. People's praise for her came like a tide, but she was like sitting on pins and needles, and it was difficult to hide the waves in the depths of her eyes in her calm eyes.
Her heart has long gone beyond the superficial affection, and there is still a complex emotion that is unknown to the public. The scene of Xu Zhimo's last visit in my memory is still vivid. His eyes were no longer indifferent and alienated in the past, but a little more soft and helpless.
They sat on the bench under the old plane tree, and Xu Zhimo asked about the progress of the clothes he had commissioned, with a little embarrassment in his voice. She read in his faded collar and patched trouser legs the hardships of his life. He revealed that in order to provide Lu Xiaoman with enough living expenses, he had to travel around, and even dabbled in real estate agency work, hoping to earn a small commission from it.
At that moment, Xu Zhimo's arrogance was gone, and his once lofty posture was gone, replaced by a helpless acceptance of ordinary life. An inexplicable sense of sympathy welled up in Zhang Youyi's heart, or was it something else?
When Zhang Youyi learned the news of Xu Zhimo's plane crash, more complicated emotions intertwined in her heart. Lu Xiaoman's indifference and ruthlessness made her both angry and distressed. Xu Zhimo's lifelong pursuit of love finally made him fall into such a field, which made Zhang Youyi reflect that all the persistence and pursuit were finally exchanged for an unacceptable ending.
Facing Xu Zhimo, who was ignored after his death, Zhang Youyi decided to stand up and deal with the aftermath for him. She began to prepare for the funeral, determined to make it both dignified and dignified. Although Xu Zhimo had disliked her for half his life, when he needed help the most, she chose to be tolerant and generous. The funeral she arranged for Xu Zhimo was not only a recognition of his achievements during his lifetime, but also a farewell to his life.
Zhang Youyi's behavior is not only out of love in the past, but also out of a sense of the overall situation that transcends love and hate and relief from the past. In the eyes of everyone, her behavior is exemplary, but she knows in her heart that this is a reconciliation and farewell to Xu Zhimo, herself, and even the past years. This complex emotion, with both relief and a faint pleasure, is difficult for others to understand.
References:
Ding Yanzhao.Sadness Lu Xiaoman[M].Shanghai People's Publishing House,2008.
Xu Zhimo.They 仨:A Poet's Emotional Life[M].China Women's Publishing House,2007.