How important is the sense of ritual in life? The Atlanta Daily in the United States once conducted a social survey and found that the happiness brought by some rituals to children far exceeds material satisfaction, and even greater than academic or career success!
What is a sense of ritual? By definition, it refers to a series of formal behaviors and expressions adopted by people on a specific occasion or activity according to traditions, conventions, or personal habits, in order to show respect and recognition for such occasions or activities.
The sense of ritual is a strong psychological suggestion that gives a special meaning to ordinary life. It may be a gift carefully prepared by parents for birthdays or holidays, or it may be some small scene in daily life, etc. Although it is a small thing, it can bring a great sense of security and happiness to children!
Not long ago, my niece called me early in the morning and cried so much that she was heartbroken! I comforted the old man for a long time before I heard her slowly explain the reason:
It turned out that the child's birthday the day before, my brother and sister-in-law forgot it, and the child asked the grandfather to call to remind him. It just so happened that my brother and sister-in-law went out on errands that day, and promised on the phone that the child would come back early to celebrate her birthday.
But it turned out that she was so busy that she couldn't buy cakes and gifts when she got home, and when she got home, the child had already fallen asleep, so she didn't wake her up. Who knew that the child woke up the next day and cried, complained to his relatives and elders, and had a cold war with his parents for several days!
Why do children care so much about birthdays? In fact, what children want is just a ceremony of love!
In fact, many Chinese parents don't realize the importance of ritual. According to a social survey conducted by China Youth Daily, about 61.5% of people believe that the sense of family ritual is getting weaker and weaker, which means that many Chinese families lack [ritual education].
So, how do we educate our children about rituals? And how do we build our own sense of family rituals? In fact, parents don't need to do anything vigorous, they just need to pay attention to some small details in daily life, give them some rituals, and everything will have special significance!
The sense of ritual of the family should have the taste of home, which is a kind of happy inheritance and the best memory between parents and children. To build a sense of family ritual, Guan Ma personally thinks that you can start with the following 6 small things:
Take your children to experience the folklore of each festival
Many people feel that the taste of traditional festivals is getting weaker and weaker, and it is too good in the eyes of children. In the past, we could only enjoy childhood happiness such as wearing new clothes and eating delicious food during the New Year's holidays, but in this era of material abundance, it is no longer of much meaning to children.
But all the ritual sense of the festival is given by the parents, if we don't pay attention to it, how can the children feel the meaning? Since the new clothes and food are no longer enough for the children to have a sense of ceremony, it is better to take them to experience more folk activities!
During the Chinese New Year, I took my children to buy New Year's goods, visit temple fairs, paste couplets, set off fireworks, etc.; make lanterns and lanterns with my children during the Lantern Festival, make zongzi and make sachets during the Dragon Boat Festival; admire the moon and eat moon cakes during the Mid-Autumn Festival. All the folk customs related to the festival can be tried and felt by children.
Special days should have exclusive ceremonies
For example, hold a birthday party for your child's birthday, prepare a gift, write a letter, create a surprise for him, and so on. Another example is to take a family photo on the first day of the new year every year to record the new look of the whole family at the beginning of each new year, as a precious treasure!
There is also the couple's wedding anniversary, not only can the two of them enjoy a warm and sweet time alone, but also can take the children together, and tell this little audience about the happy process from your encounter to marriage and childbirth, and the child will also send a most sincere blessing!
Be sure to participate in important activities that belong to your child
There are many key activities in the process of children's growth, such as the first time children go to school, the first time they perform on stage, graduation ceremonies, 18-year-old coming-of-age ceremonies, etc., each time is an important node in life, which is worthy of your solemn attendance and brings the greatest confidence to the child.
On my child's first day of primary school, I followed him all the way and watched him confidently complete the new student challenge and eventually become a qualified primary school student. Afterwards, I also posted a small video (attracting 100,000 netizens) to announce that the child has embarked on a new stage of life!
A warm hug every day
The famous educator Sun Yunxiao once said: A child needs 4 hugs a day to survive, 8 hugs to maintain, and 16 hugs to grow. And a child who has not been embraced by his parents may have some psychological problems.
It is important to know that behind the hug is giving and acceptance, which is the basis for children and parents to develop secure attachment, as well as the emotional connection between parents and children. So no matter what, at least hug your child every day and let him know that in this world, there is always someone who loves him!
Leave a good record for your child's growth
In the era of artificial intelligence, we are qualified to record the growth of children. For example, meeting a newborn baby for the first time, getting a haircut for the first time, smiling for the first time, crawling for the first time, walking for the first time, celebrating a birthday for the first time......
Many parents have the habit of "secretly shooting" their babies, thinking that they are all in order to keep the happy times when their children are growing up. At the same time, I also hope that when the children grow up, they can recall the beautiful childhood and happy years in the past through these photos.
Have regular family meetings
Family meetings are one of the most rewarding things to do in a family sense of ritual. Because it not only provides children with opportunities to learn, complain, communicate and solve problems, but also allows children to feel more love and family centripetal force, as well as their own responsibilities.
As for the family meeting, it is suggested that it could consist of several parts:
1. Thanks, each person says a word of thanks, specific to people and things;
2. Propose problems that need to be solved;
3. Each member takes turns to express his or her own views and opinions on the issue;
4. Opinions are agreed upon and recorded;
5. End the meeting with a mini-game or snack fruit time.
Write at the end
In fact, rituals can be everywhere in life, and it can be used as the most direct way for us to express our inner emotions, so that children can be more focused on the situation and feel the beauty and fun of life.
Some seemingly inconspicuous small rituals can fill children's hearts with happiness. Therefore, it is important to find your own sense of family ritual, solidify it, beautify it, and insist on it and make it a family tradition!
@莞家妈妈 I am a health manager|family education instructor, thank you for your support and attention, scientific parenting together, wisdom to raise a baby! #萌娃成长记录#