-01
Desirelessness is rigid, which is the top mentality in the ambiguous stage
What is Desirelessness and Rigidity?
This is a realm where a person controls desires and emotions.
I can have a lot of desires, but I don't achieve my goals, and I don't feel too much loss;
I can have a lot of desires, a lot of expectations, but I can put everything I can say.
This is especially important in the context of sexual relations, especially in the ambiguous phase.
You can message each other, you can like each other;
But when you don't get a response, you can instantly cut off the desire to actively contact the other party;
If you expect too much and can't control the desire to "get the other person", you will be eaten up by the desire.
The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment;
In order to avoid the harm of disappointed expectations, you must have a bold mindset of "I don't want it".
There is nothing ambiguous, the most important thing is that you can not be led by the nose by the other party.
For example:
The other person chats with you and often "loses contact intermittently".
Are you going to have gains and losses? Are you going to be cranky?
If your negative emotions are very strong, it means that you are being pinched by the other person.
Once the other party plays the routine of "wanting to catch and indulge" with you, it is easy for you to get into the opponent's "low-level trap".
And the way to deal with this tactic is: "If you don't look for me, I won't look for you;
-02
Don't get caught up in the "online favorites".
Do you believe it or not?
When you are in an emotional window, or you are dissatisfied with the current relationship and have nothing to say to your partner;
At this time, someone of the opposite sex broke into your life and chatted with you frequently every day;
This opposite sex knows you, understands you, and provides you with strong emotional value.
In less than a week, you will like this "netizen".
As you sink deeper and deeper, you think, "I like him, he must like me too, right?"
What are the three major illusions in life?
The phone vibrates, someone knocks on the door, and they like you.
You haven't even seen each other, do you know how many people are chatting with at the same time?
Online high-frequency chatting, across the mobile phone screen, relying on guessing, it is easy to have illusions.
So you get the idea?
Don't get caught up in the mirage of online chatting, and if you get the chance, meet in person.
Face-to-face communication, the other party's emotions, behaviors, and attitudes can be observed through many details.
Don't be obsessed with your "soul mate" and don't amplify the goodwill that comes with chatting.
-03
Like a person, the state change of men and women is different
Regarding liking and love, when a woman is emotional, she will become brave and decisive, and she will act when she says it;
If she's not brave, she doesn't like you enough.
When a man is emotional, he will become timid and twisted, just like a shy girl;
If he is calm and calm from the moment he approaches you, generous and calm, without stage fright, there are only two possibilities.
Either he doesn't like you that much, or he's a love veteran.
In "The Charm of Boredom", de Botton wrote a passage:
"One of the ironies of love is that the more you don't like a person, the more confident you can be and easily attract him, and the strong desire makes people lose the carelessness that is essential in the game of love, and if you are attracted to others, you will inevitably have an inferiority complex, because people always give the best qualities to their loved ones. ”
Think about it, is this the state?
When you don't care about someone, you act at ease and casually;
When you care about someone in particular, you act very nervous and twisted, for fear of making a little mistake, exposing a little flaw, and causing the other person to be dissatisfied.
-04
People who don't like you, won't like them in the future
For example:
You pursue someone of the opposite sex for a few months, and the other person is indifferent;
What you give, they will basically accept it, and occasionally give you some small favors;
If you want to take it a step further and determine the relationship, they will subconsciously avoid it and change the subject.
Your relationship is at a stalemate.
You also know that they often have ambiguous relationships with other members of the opposite sex and get closer.
Suddenly, one day, TA comes back to you and accepts your request to confess.
What does this mean?
It's not that he has changed sex, it's not that he's in love with you, it's not that he's attracted to you;
It's that there are so many spare tires around, and only you have persevered to this point.
The short man is tall, and you are a relatively obedient candidate with relatively good conditions in the spare tire.
Emotionally speaking:
When people are in love, it is difficult to control themselves, and it is difficult to get out of it.
Rationally:
You fall in love with someone who doesn't respect you at all and doesn't care about you, and it's doomed to be a tragedy from the start.
Knowing that you can't do it, it's not affectionate, it's stupid self-touching.
Topic:
Have you ever had an affair with someone of the opposite sex?
Author He Suohuan:
Focus on the analysis of gender emotion, marriage and family, character growth, original family, etc., follow me to bring you more knowledge.