In modern society, boys in many families are like little emperors in the family. Parents always feel that the fewer difficulties a boy encounters, the happier and more successful they are. But that's not true.
We often see a group of young boys playing in the yard and they want to build a "building". They will carefully plan and find materials such as cardboard, wood chips, rope and stone. They may forget to eat, even if it's windy or rainy. After the ride, even if their parents didn't praise them, they were very happy.
Adults may wonder why these boys like to build "buildings" so much, and why are they so satisfied after building them? In fact, they like the process of solving problems, and the more difficult the problem, the more exciting it is. And they don't care too much about whether the "building" looks good or not.
Some parents think that boys with high IQs must be good at solving problems. However, the study found that in fact, boys' problem-solving ability depends more on their social experience and familiarity with the problem. Psychology tells us that boys' problem-solving skills are actually much stronger than we think, and it depends more on their experiences than on whether they are smart or not.
Adults also often like to tell boys what to do and even solve problems for them. This is because parents always feel that they are right, and they are worried that the boy will not understand, and will suffer and be frustrated. But in doing so, boys are deprived of the opportunity to learn and grow.
Parents need to know that boys have no experience if they don't participate, and if they don't, they don't think for themselves. If this continues, the boy may become incompetent, powerless, helpless, irritable, and unable to become a real man.
When it comes to educating boys, parents should talk less and do more. Try to ask boys what they think, listen to what they have to say, and communicate with them in a more open way. In this way, you can really get to know them and help them grow healthily.
Tips for young parents:
Suggestion 1: Let the boy do more hands-on and don't always do things for him
When the boy encounters a problem, let him think about it by himself first, but he really can't, and then point him out. That way, next time he'll know what to do. Don't forget, it's normal to fail, and it's important for him to learn from his failures and not make the same mistakes next time. It takes a process and parents need to be patient. Keep it at that, and you'll definitely get something.
For example, a couple took their 5-year-old son to a botanical garden and he accidentally lost his sun hat. They did not rush to blame their son, but first comforted him, and then guided him to think about what he had done wrong. The son soon realized that he was careless, and he had to pay attention to his own things in the future.
Tip 2: Ask boys more open-ended questions
When talking to a boy, ask him more open-ended questions, such as what happened, what do you think is the problem, what will you do next time you encounter this situation, so that he has to use his brain to think and judge. When he has your support, he will trust you more and will be more motivated to solve problems.
But don't keep asking "why", it will make the boy think that you are blaming him, he may find a bunch of reasons to pass the buck, and it will also make him feel like a failure. Remember, boys need your help and support every step of the way. They like to help solve problems and they like to be respected. Parents should give them more opportunities to solve problems on their own and not do everything for them. In this way, the home will be filled with a problem-solving atmosphere.
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