Q: "Late to the day want snow, can drink a cup of nothing", how to reply more domineering? Answer: "The driver has one line of wine, and the relatives have two lines of tears." "Idiom Jun found these 88 witty answers on the Internet, and in these god replies, you can deeply feel the breadth and profundity of Chinese culture...
Concise and concise
Q: "Late to the day want snow, can drink a cup of nothing", how to reply more domineering?
God replied: The driver has a line of wine, and the relatives have two lines of tears.
Q: What are the elegant names for "rolling sheets"?
God replied: Guan Bao's friend.
Q: In the world of martial arts, what do you need to pay attention to when opening an inn?
God replied: Big words on the wall: To type out and type.
Q: How do you implicitly express "I've been bought"?
God replied: I will be fair...
Q: Many of your peers are married and have children, does it have any impact on you?
God replied: It has no impact on me, but it has a greater impact on my mother.
Q: "Who, by my hand, has made me half a madman" means?
God replied: I am sick, who has medicine!
Q: How do you express anger gracefully?
God replied: Push the glasses with your middle finger.
Q: Why do some people feel that they have become much more handsome and beautiful after taking a shower and washing their hair?
God replied: Because the brain is in the water.
Q: What powerful people or things have you encountered on your travels?
God replied: My mother, she will not let me go anywhere.
Q: What is the most bizarre slogan in history?
God replied: Garbage sorting, starting from me.
Q: In the case of a girl asking for six yuan for the way home, what should I do?
God replied: People who go out with chalk usually don't have too good luck.
Q: Is there any difference between Southerners and Northerners playing DotA?
God replied: In the winter, the level of the south declines collectively.
Q: What are some famous quotes about football?
God replied: There is not much time left for the Chinese team.
Q: Where does a woman's tenderness come from?
God replied: Quarrel out, by the way to buy a dish back.
Q: The head of the duck eats the duck head, and the duck head is salty and the head is suspected
God replied: Jiyou smeared oil, and the oil thickened Jiyou was sad.
Q: The most famous show of love in history?
God replied: Beacon Theatre Princes.
Q: If the hen had a mind, what would it think?
God replied: O my hen!
Q: How can a man who buys vegetables in a wet market avoid being asked for high prices?
God replied: Useless, this is the Jiyu Xuan Ang tax.
Q: What is it like to fall in love with a lawyer?
God replied: Don't get divorced, you can't even get your underwear.
Q: Google Glass's startup command: OK, Glass, Chinese translation is the most appropriate?
God replied: Okay, Brother Mirror.
Q: Why are people in the northern region more direct and tough?
God replied: It's freezing cold, where is the time to grind with you.
Q: What's the worst thing you've ever done?
God replied: When I was a child, I always slept with my mother.
Q: What are the words and deeds that reflect low emotional intelligence?
God replied, "Why are you kicking me?" ”
Unclear acute type
Q: Why do Chinese like to make costume films so much?
God replied: The biggest question facing science fiction is, will the country lead the people in the future time and space?
Q: What should I do if an indecent picture suddenly pops up when I put a PPT to a customer?
God replied: The silence was half loud, and then asked, "Are you still sleepy?" - Don't be sleepy, let's continue..."
Q: "What is the mentality of playing with a good hand of cards and playing with grandchildren"?
God replied: Because that's how Sun Tzu hit. "Sun Tzu's Art of War": "Soldiers, devious ways, so they can show that they can't." ”
Q: 2000RMB Which country can I go to if I want to travel abroad on a budget trip?
God replied: Qin Kingdom. Lu Guo. Qi Guo. Shu. Korea. Zheng Guo. Wei. Chu. Zhao Guo. Yan Guo. Wu. Wait a minute.
Q: Why has there been more and more criminal cases against teenage girls since the disappearance of Kuaibo in July 2014?
God replied: In 1978, I was born, and China reformed and opened up to celebrate my birth. In 2008, I got married, and China celebrated the Olympics.
Q: How do you complain that a movie sucks?
God replied: There are 17 rows of seats in the auditorium, each row has 32 seats, there are 48 lights on the ceiling, and there is a black dot in the lower left corner of the screen that always appears, and the frequency is about once every minute and 20 seconds.
Q: How do you fight back with "Don't you have an old man in your house?" Do you have no children? "Something like moral kidnapping?
God replied: My grandfather and my grandmother have culture, there is no fight on the bus, my brother and my sister are well-educated, no bears do not make fools, my father does not smoke, my mother does not shout in the car, and your whole family is of high quality.
Q: How is it made?
God replied: I remember when I first joined the company, the code I wrote was messy, full of errors, and bugs, not only the project manager scolded me, but other colleagues also complained about me. Later, when I heard a friend's introduction, I signed up for a training course. After a month of hard work, the kung fu finally paid off - they couldn't scold me.
Q: What are some of the famous "brainwashing sentences" in history?
God replied: For all Chinese, there is a four-word spell that can never be circumvented. As long as someone says these four words to you, you can buy tickets to the most pit spots, climb the most difficult mountain peaks, and eat the most difficult restaurant meals. These four words are: "All come." ”
Q: How do you respond to "a person's eyes have 576 million pixels, but they can't understand people's hearts after all"?
God replied: You have 10 billion brain cells, but you think about some unnutritional problems.
Q: Why should the "demolition" of demolition be enclosed in circles?
God replied: I am the demolition team, in fact, there is nothing to pay attention to, purely handy. If I'm in a good mood, I can also draw a heart shape.
Q: What compliments are embarrassing to you?
God replied: Oh, this young man, man cannot be disguised.
Q: Why can't I wear slippers in the library?
God replied: In case the book licks the fingers and the book picks the foot.
Q: In ancient mythology, why can a plant such as a willow locust tree become a sperm, but fruits and vegetables cannot become a sperm?
God replied: In the morning, I made a wish to cultivate, and at noon I stewed it...
Q: Why do fish in the deep sea look so special?
God replied: The deep sea is dark, no one can see anyone, everyone will grow up at will...
Q: How should a child answer the question "Why can an adult hit me if I do something wrong, and I can't hit them if an adult is wrong?"
God replied: Because you can't fight, when you can beat it, adults will start to reason with you.
Q: Should the compulsory study of chinese and chinese be abolished in primary and secondary schools?
God replied: Mathematics you feel that the practicality is limited, usually who will be fine to solve a system of equations, buy vegetables can not be used, do not learn;
English you feel that the practicality is limited, usually who talks to foreigners, watch American dramas have subtitle groups, buy vegetables can not be used, do not learn;
Physics you think the practicality is limited, usually who is okay with those few small sliders swing around, buy vegetables can not be used, do not learn;
Chemistry you feel that the practicality is limited, usually who tinkers with copper sulfate, buy vegetables can not be used without learning;
Literature and literature you feel that the practicality is limited, usually who idle eggs hurt to read ancient texts, buy vegetables can not be used, do not learn;
So what do you tell me about compulsory education? Learn to buy groceries?
Q: Why does China rarely launch a war of aggression against the outside world?
God replied: From a small piece of the Yellow River Valley to the present, is it a big rooster that was sent for a call fee?
Q: What was it like to have a daughter?
God replied, "Baby, I'm willing to give you everything in this world."
"I want to eat ice cream~"
"No!"
Q: The girl came out of Lin Weiyin's previous sentence: It is love, it is warmth, it is hope, you are the April day on earth. How do you respond to the next sentence?
God replied: It's him, it's him, it's him, the young hero Xiao Nezha.
Q: What is it that shocks you about your ignorance?
God replied: When I was a child, I had to write a pen name, and I always wrote "Chinese drawing pencil".
Q: How about Lin Zhiying's singing skills?
God replied: I wrote a large paragraph, such as round, beautiful, natural and other praise words, and then found that what you said was not Lin Zhixuan, so I silently deleted it.
Communication secret type
Q: What is the use of a girlfriend?
God replied: Let your restless heart and money that you don't know how to spend have a warm landing.
Q: My girlfriend got pregnant after breaking up with my ex-boyfriend, what should I do?
God replied: Whoever pollutes, governs. Whoever develops, who protects.
Q: My girlfriend allowed me to cheat and introduced me to my girlfriend. How do you understand her behavior if she really loves me?
God replied: Don't be fooled!!! Mac tells you that I can also install Windows, but you really install it, and you will retaliate against you with high fever!
Q: From what detail did you find out about your girlfriend's cheating?
God replied: When she came home that day, she shook the quilt and said that she would perform a big change for me.
Q: What do you think of your girlfriend's blue face?
God replied: Blue face blue face, add a little yellow and it will be green.
Q: Why is it so hard to find a boyfriend?
God replied: There is no capital for love at first sight, and there is a lack of conditions for long-term love.
Q: How to improve my girlfriend's IQ?
God replied: When she doesn't like you, her IQ naturally rises.
Q: Why do you always want to have sex with your girlfriend, and all boys do that? Or psychopathy?
God replied: Child, this impulse of yours is the source of human life, and your GF's conservatism is the cornerstone of human civilization.
Q: My girlfriend texts and says "I miss you", how should I reply to the text message?
God replied: Dead brains. She texts you text back? Call back!
Q: When the girlfriend says that so-and-so is handsome, how do you pick up the stubble?
God replied: So what, the girlfriend is not as beautiful as me.
Q: What has ever broken you down?
God replied: Reason with your girlfriend.
Q: What's it like to have a very smart girlfriend?
God replied: Take a friend's mobile phone to call my girlfriend, as soon as I connect it, she knows that she is called dear.
Q: What better should I do when my girlfriend doesn't let you talk to her or touch her when you're arguing?
God replied: Take a cup and throw it to the ground to see if you can calm her, if you can calm her, finish the work, if you don't calm down, go and kneel on the glass slag, finish the work.
Q: Why can't I contact my ex-boyfriend?
God replied: The four most useless things in the emotional world: regret after a breakup, care after not loving, self-esteem on the top, and kindness with low emotional intelligence.
Q: When a girlfriend is dating herself, she travels with other boys and opens a room.
God replied: You think that the biggest feature of green tea is, you are wrong, it is actually green.
Q: If my boyfriend doesn't take the initiative to contact me during a month or two of vacation, how to adjust?
God replied: Everyone answered too darkly, what split legs to change the heart has never loved you or anything like that, everything should be thought of in a good way.
I guess your boyfriend is supposed to be dead.
Q: What should I do if my girlfriend is brain-dead?
God replied: According to the relevant laws and regulations, if a woman is known to be a mental patient or a demented person (to a serious extent), and that she has sex with her, no matter what means are used, she should be punished as rape.
Temperamental male and female type
Q: What was the most thunderous confession you received?
God replied: It's okay to be my girlfriend, it's okay, it's okay, no, I'll think of a way.
Q: What is ambiguity?
God replied: Ambiguous = love is not the day.
Q: What is the difference between a girlfriend and a female friend?
God replied: Chinese have a habit of taking names: in fact, what is missing must be made up in the name, and the five elements can be perfected.
Q: A beautiful woman is eating sugar gourd, how to ask to make her believe that I am not here to talk but want to know where the sugar gourd was bought?
God replied, "Beauty, hello, you are so beautiful, I saw you from afar, and I wanted to come and say hello to you... That, I want to inquire, where did you buy the sugar gourd you ate? ”
Q: When eating with a girl who is not familiar with her (there is a willingness to pursue her), the woman proposes the AA system, should it be accepted?
God replied: This time I please, next time change you please.
Q: What if there is no lover on Valentine's Day?
God replied: Do anyone who is not dead in the family still have to work hard to kill one or two before the Qingming Festival? Nothing but nothing.
Q: Why does someone say "women are always right"?
God replied: This sentence reflects that many men are unreasonable and think that many women are unreasonable.
Q: Why do girls have "body odor" and men don't?
God replied: Cosmetics are pickled.
Q: What is a warm man?
God replied: Cloud spare tire.
Q: Do men value a woman's figure, face or mind more?
God replied: The face and body determine whether I want to know her thoughts or not. Thoughts determine whether I will veto her face and body with one vote.
Q: What is it that women think is good-looking, but men don't agree?
God replied: Other men.
Q: Which laws impressed you and thought they were instructive?
God replied: The law of the gods and horses all look at the face.
Q: It's been 100 days since we broke up and I haven't come out yet?
God replied: Replacing files is always more thorough than deleting files.
Q: Is first love used to practice your hands?
God replied: Put P. Singleness is what you use to practice your hands.
Q: How do boys answer girls "Why are you so good to me"?
God replied: I salute you as a man.
Q: What does it mean that the girl clipped a face towel when she returned the book?
God replied: It shows that you are interested in people.
Q: Why do many girls find boys who can cook attractive?
God Replies: There's an Egg Charm!! Do you think they'll find it attractive for a fat black man to fry noodles with bare shoulders and sweat? They just find it attractive for handsome guys to make dessert steaks with a smile in spotless chef's clothes.
Q: Why are someone else chasing you and you are not?
God replied: Then you ask yourself, if you give your boyfriend to you, will you or?
Q: How to gracefully present roll sheets?
God replied: There is a project of nearly 300 million that needs your help to cooperate with it.
Q: What does it mean that my sister gave away a book and wrote a passage in Russian on the title page?
God replied: Knowing that the other party does not understand what to give is confession.
Q: Is falling in love a waste of time?
God replied: I fell in love that time, every day laughing and falling asleep, laughing and waking up, walking alone, but also full of smiles, chatting with others, chatting and chatting can also pull to my girlfriend, a group of bare sticks silently watching my eyebrows flying and dancing, now I think it is too inconsiderate.
What is time? Life is given to her, waste it is wasted.
Q: When I ask my sister to watch a movie, I have a disagreement about the choice of the film, what should I do?
God replied: There is actually a disagreement, it seems that you really want to watch a movie...
Q: Why do girls always cover their mouths when they are confessed and proposed?
God replied: So that others can't see whether they are talking about OMG or WTF.
Note: WTF is what the fuck, meaning: what the fuck.
Q: Why do women still like men while calling them not good things and are all sex ghosts?
God replied: The people who really want to buy are all picky lords, and those who have always boasted are childcare.
Q: What should I do if I confess to a girl I like and that I have been rejected, or do I like her?
God replied: Maybe you have mistaken what a confession is, and confession should be a clarion call for final victory, not a charge to launch an attack.
Q: What kind of beautiful boy have you ever met?
God replied: height 170-185cm, weight 56-75kg, well-proportioned figure, gentle personality, laughing sunshine, Mandarin standard, refreshing hairstyle, occasional drinking, no smoking, do not love clubbing. Can cook rice, have a mood, will create a little romance, have patience, have filial piety, have love, have a sense of responsibility, have a self-motivated heart, behave Sven, do not speak dirty words, modest, cautious, steady, generous. Not about guns, not good at talking to girls, but loyal to love, responsible.
Such boys are basically spare tires.
Photo: Thailand ᗰίn∂ɱεl0ɗΎ
Source of this article: Chinese idiom conference zhongguochengyu