In this chaotic and complex society, each of us is trying to find our place. The work "Cheng Huan Ji" is like a mirror, reflecting the truest and most fragile side of human nature.
It made me realize that if some deep-rooted problems are not removed, life is like a butterfly trapped in a glass jar, seemingly free, but in fact limited everywhere.
Today, let's talk about the four major problems that you and I need to get rid of.
1. Don't dig out your heart and lungs easily.
Due to Liu Wanyu's "big horn" style of revealing her wealth, Mai Chenghuan's great-uncle and his family of four formed a group and made a special trip to Shanghai to rub the light of the "local tyrant" Mai Chenghuan.
Mai Chenghuan knows that this wave of people is not good, and it is purely for oil. But for the sake of his mother's face, he still let it go and arranged his aunt's family to be more than five stars and six stars.
The luxury suite in Xing'anli, the feast is served, and even Moutai is served, so I almost didn't tell anyone my bank password.
Aunt Liu Wanrong is still familiar and knows how to say thank you, but the uncle Fang Zhihong and his son and grandson Xiong are three generations, it is like entering Disneyland, everything is the best, and there is a posture of "I am poor and I am reasonable".
In this play, Mai Chenghuan did his best, but the eldest uncle and they enjoyed the free lunch and suite, and they were not grateful at all.
So, don't always want to be nice to others, your kindness may become a joke after dinner. Remember, sincerity is gold, but don't let it become someone else's free vault.
2. Soft-heartedness without a bottom line.
While eating, the eldest uncle began his "marriage guidance class" again. He gushed about how girls should marry and have children at an early age, and family is the destination of their lives.
Mai Chenghuan didn't buy his clichés, which made the eldest uncle a little embarrassed. He began to rely on the old and sell the old, trying to suppress Mak Chenghuan with his own life experience, and his behavior was tiresome.
The grandson of the eldest uncle, Qiuqiu, is also a typical bear child. He ran around in the hotel, playing desperately, bumped into guests, and stained people's skirts, and his father, Fang Jie, the second generation of Xiong, not only did not apologize, but blamed others for scaring his children, which made people feel very speechless.
Mak Chenghuan stood up in time to apologize for them and made amends. However, the eldest uncle felt that he had lost their face in this way, and instead blamed Mai Chenghuan for not saving face for his relatives.
This incident involved the reputation of the hotel, and Mai Chenghuan decided not to condone them anymore, and "Mai Xiaodao" resolutely responded: "If you are willing to stay well, don't make trouble, otherwise you will leave." ”
Kindness is the softest part of human nature, it is our compassion, it is something we are born with. However, when this kindness is exploited by others, it becomes weakness.
Mak Chenghuan's powerful reply makes people feel very happy, kindness must have a edge, otherwise you will be bullied.
3. Patience again and again.
We are always taught to be tolerant and generous, to take a step back and open the sky. That's true, but the score object and situation.
Sometimes, the other party's provocation and aggression are like tentacles to test your bottom line, and the more you tolerate, the more unscrupulous the other party will be.
Mai Chengzao took Fang Jie and his son to play in Ocean Park, Fang Jie's unreasonable bear child Qiuqiu, the little bully pushed people to grab toys, Mai Cheng went in the morning and said a few words lightly, the result is that the toys are in the sky!
Fang Jie's house also blamed Mai Chengzao for not giving face, Mao Yongxin scolded back, hardcore replied, and Mai Chengzao was not to be outdone. This is called perseverance, not unprincipled concessions.
Later, Fang Jie sued, Fang Zhihong asked Liu Wanyu to put pressure, and Liu Wanyu indiscriminately forced Mai Chengzao to apologize. Can this be called forbearance? This is yielding!
Mai Chengzao was right, so he naturally refused to apologize, and Liu Wanyu saw that the coercion was useless, so she apologized by herself. This drama seems to be peaceful, but in fact, it has wronged its children.
This time, Liu Wanyu can be said to have deeply hurt her son's self-esteem. "Mai Xiaodao" Cheng Huan rushed over and said directly: "When I was a child, Fang Jie did the theft of money, and he always blamed Xiao Zao, does he dare to admit it? Fang Jie took the lead in bullying Xiao Zao, does he dare to tell everyone? Don't go too far in everything." If your uncle really feels uncomfortable living here and wants to go home, then please do it. ”
There should be applause here, blindly forbearance will only make people gain inches, and let them bully them.
"Forbearance" is tolerance, not connivance, understanding, not weakness. When other people's nose is kicked in the face and your forbearance is regarded as acquiescence, this forbearance is better than being discarded.
So, there must be a degree of tolerance, and the bottom line must be drawn.
Forbearance is not an unprincipled concession, but giving the other party understanding and space on the premise of sticking to one's own bottom line.
4. Kindness without principles.
In the dispute between relatives, Mak Chenghuan's firm stance highlights an important truth: if kindness is unprincipled, it becomes a sharp sword that cuts itself.
Liu Wanyu finally came forward after knowing the truth, but was unreasonably abused by the brother-in-law of "Old Man Xiong", who demanded money to settle for many years.
Despite Liu Wanrong's reasonable help, family conflicts are still on the verge of breaking out. Mai Xiaodao was unwilling to back down any longer, and decisively ordered the eviction: "Don't go too far in everything, if you feel uncomfortable living here and want to go home, please do it." ”
Although this move has led to the breakdown of family relations, it is the way to maintain dignity by sticking to principles.
On the other hand, Liu Wanyu did not reflect on her own mistakes, but complained about her children, and even the peacemaker Yao Zhiming was implicated.
Unprincipled kindness can get people into trouble and lose the respect of others. Therefore, it is also necessary to be wise and principled in doing good deeds in order to avoid becoming a sword that harms oneself and others.
After reading "Chenghuan Ji", I felt as if I was poured a basin of cold water, cold from head to toe. Aren't these mistakes I have made or am making?
Recognizing the existence of these problems is the first step to change. From now on, I have to learn to put away the unnecessary heartache and lungs, and learn to say "no" at the critical moment.
Find a balance between forbearance and persistence, as well as stick to your principles and bottom line while being kind.
Get rid of the flaws that bind us, live your true self, and make life more exciting.