The workplace accounts for one-third of life, and meeting a bad supervisor or colleague is like meeting a scary lover or a bad girlfriend, meeting every day, having a close relationship, unable to get rid of easily, and even being made to have a nervous breakdown and doubt life. Sometimes it's not that you're bad, it's that you're suffering from "narcissistic abuse."
What is "narcissistic abuse"?
Narcissistic abuse is a way in which the abuser uses words and actions to satisfy his or her own needs by provoking negative emotions and degrading the other person's self-esteem, which may be to maintain power, retain control, or highlight vanity.
If you feel these things in the workplace
Be careful, you are being "narcissistically abused".
Even if you have been given a salary increase and given a task, you feel that you are insignificant, have no status in the company, and you are not valued, you feel that you are isolated and excluded, and when you try to express your feelings, you will receive "I do it because I believe in you and treat you well, because you are too sensitive, not so exaggerated, thinking too much, and making a big fuss".
Over time, you become self-doubting, believing that "the people around you are too good, that's why it seems that I have a problem", and even speak for them. You don't dare to leave your job because you think you're not good enough, you repeat it indefinitely, and it's painful to go to work every day.
What kind of people are "narcissistic abusers"?
People with narcissistic personalities are easily irritated to accept any criticism, correction or rejection, and no matter how well you speak, they will feel offended and react aggressively. It's like going crazy in public, breaking down and crying, complaining to superiors, or treating you as a thorn in the side from now on, and wants to kill you when they have the chance.
In particular, the "supervisor" with a narcissistic personality will feel that he is being deliberately attacked, after all, he can become a supervisor, and his strength must be stronger than you, and he should be above you. His request is the Bible, so why did you react unexpectedly?
What to do if you are abused by a narcissistic type?
1. Please train yourself to "let go"
If you are sure of what you are doing, and you are sure that you are doing it right, don't take the other person's words at ease, and maximize the skill of "left ear in and right ear out", and train yourself to "let go", when the narcissistic abuser has a seizure, he will hide in the wall built in his heart, and his emotions will not be affected, and he will not be manipulated.
2. Don't share too much personal information
A narcissistic abuser doesn't necessarily win you out of their ability to work, and if you are impeccable in the workplace, you will start making a big fuss about your private life. People are bloodthirsty, and once their private life becomes the focus of gossip, it is difficult not to be affected, so don't reveal too much personal affairs in the company, don't participate in small groups, and avoid becoming a weakness.
3. Try to communicate with the other party in a "documented" way
Write down everything as much as possible, and take precedence over e-mail and messaging software for any communication that is required. The interview is also absolutely in the office where colleagues are present, avoid meeting alone, and leave evidence if there are any cognitive discrepancies or false accusations in the future.
4. If it is really difficult to communicate, please find a third party to coordinate
If the process of communicating with the narcissistic abuser is not smooth, try to coordinate with a third party and ask the third person to provide fair opinions on the thoughts of both parties. Although this may be remembered by the narcissistic abuser, it is a wise way to protect oneself rather than being targeted alone.
5. Continue to improve yourself and leave decisively when necessary
In addition to regular work, try to cultivate a variety of contacts, develop a second expertise, increase personal market value, reduce dependence on this company, and at the same time increase a sense of achievement, so that you will not be crushed by the words of the abuser during narcissism, increase confidence, and if necessary, you can find another day immediately if you leave decisively.