"You have no conscience, are you worthy of me like this, no wonder I asked you to go to my son's house to play for a few days, you were not happy, and you shirked that you were not feeling well and wanted to stay at home, but it turned out that you were with someone else!" Aunt Lin roared angrily.
And Uncle Liu faced Aunt Lin's roar, silent, and looked unconvinced. What's going on?
It turned out that a few days ago, Aunt Lin wanted to take her wife to her son's house to play for a few days because she missed her grandson, but Uncle Liu shirked it because she was unwell, so Aunt Lin went by herself.
But just two days after I went, Aunt Lin thought that her wife had no one to take care of, so she came back a day early. Who knows, after opening the door, I saw such an unbearable scene, Uncle Liu was hugging a girl together.
After catching her husband and others, Aunt Lin was very angry and asked Uncle Liu what he meant and where she was sorry for him.
Under Aunt Lin's questioning, Uncle Liu said what was in his heart, "It's not like that, every time I want to make love to you, you are very reluctant, always saying that doing too much is not good for your health, you look at the past few years, there may not be once a year, so who can bear it after such a long time?"
After knowing what happened, Aunt Lin was speechless for a while, helpless and angry.
The frequency of married life has been widely discussed, so how much is the healthiest frequency of married life?
1. How often do couples live the healthiest?
A study published in European Urology by Jennifer R. Rider and her team at the Harvard School of Public Health on "Frequency and Risk of Ovulation in Prostate Cancer: Recent Results from a Ten-Year Follow-up" states that ejaculation greater than 21 times per month reduces the incidence of prostate cancer.
The study integrated the follow-up records of 31,925 men with the initial pathological analysis over 18 years, and divided them into three time periods: 20-29 years old, 40-49 years old, and the year before participating in the follow-up papers, in order to comprehensively evaluate the association between ejaculation frequency and prostate cancer.
It was found that in the 20-29 age group, the hazard ratio for prostate cancer was 0.81 for 21 ejaculations per month compared to 4 ≥ 7 ejaculations per month, compared with 0.78 for 40-49 years.
That is, a higher ejaculation frequency in adult males has a lower chance of developing prostate cancer later than a lower ejaculation frequency.
In addition, a 25-year follow-up study by Duke University in the United States showed that having sex twice a week could increase life expectancy by 2 years.
Are these two standard answers? Of course not!
In fact, the frequency of sex is affected by a variety of factors, including age, environment, work, etc., so there is no standard answer to the question of how often it is normal to have sex with each other.
In addition, according to the influence of age factors on sexual performance, American scholars have summarized a "sexual frequency formula" (applicable to adults over 20 years old): sexual frequency = the first digit of age × 9, the tenth digit of the product obtained is time, and the single digit is the number of sexual life during this period.
You can calculate it according to your age, for example, people in their 20s multiply the ten-digit number 2 by 9, which is equal to 18, that is, 8 times in 10 days, and people in their 60s, it is 6×9=54, that is, 4 times in 50 days...... And so on. However, it is important to emphasize: this is not an authority, just for information!
In short, there is no need to cling to a standard answer to the question of the frequency of sex, as long as both parties are satisfied, then it will be fine!
2. How old can you last in married life?
Many people stop talking about sex when they reach a certain age, so how old can they last as a couple?
According to a large sample survey involving 26,000 middle-aged and elderly people aged 40~80 in 28 countries and regions (including China), the sex life of both men and women lasts until they are in their 70s. And at least 4/5 of men and 2/3 of women say that sex is an indispensable thing in life.
In a variety interview show in Japan, a 90-year-old grandmother bluntly said that although she is 90 years old, she still talks about love and wants to have sex.
The 62-year-old Uncle Hu in the mainland's "Calamus River Old Lover" program also talked about his actual sexual needs, but before the show ended, he was attacked by some people, scolding him as an old hooligan.
In fact, "sex" is not the exclusive domain of young people, and even the elderly have the right to pursue "sex and love"! Don't question or insult them just because they are old enough to talk about sex.
Chen Shuqiu, the attending physician of Zhongda Hospital affiliated to Southeast University, reminded that the elderly have a moderate sexual life, which is good for health.
Because sexual activity is also a consumptive exercise, the process can speed up breathing, heart rate, blood vessels dilate, lung capacity increase, improve blood circulation, promote metabolism to a certain extent, at the same time, it can also eliminate loneliness and loneliness in the elderly, eliminate inferiority complex, so that the elderly can relax physically and mentally.
3. In the life of the elderly couple, we should be careful of these situations
Ma Xiaonian, a professor at Yuquan Hospital of Tsinghua University, reminded that the elderly should pay more attention to sexual life due to factors such as decreased physical strength and chronic diseases to avoid some accidents.
If you have these 3 types of discomfort, you need to seek medical attention in time.
1. Dyspareunia
With age, female estrogen gradually declines, and at this time, vaginal atrophy and secretion decrease, which causes painful sexual intercourse, lubricants and estrogen replacement therapy can be used if necessary, while older men may have post-ejaculation perineal spasmodic pain due to prostatitis, and the primary disease needs to be actively treated.
2. Chest pain or discomfort
If there is discomfort such as chest pain, chest tightness, cold sweat and other discomfort during sexual life, it means that the heart function is insufficient and the heart burden is heavy, at this time, you should be alert to angina pectoris or myocardial infarction, stop sexual life immediately, and seek medical attention as soon as possible.
3. Abdominal pain
Abdominal pain after sexual intercourse in elderly women may be related to the tonic contraction of the uterus during orgasm, which is a normal situation, and if it is very uncomfortable, it can be relieved by warm compresses, light massage, etc., while abdominal pain in elderly men may be caused by excessive accumulation of prostatic fluid due to the inability to ejaculate every time.
It needs to be reminded that after all, the elderly have physical decline and physiological decline, so they must pay attention to doing what they can and combining work and rest when having sex.
In general, aging does not mean that the elderly have become "asexual creatures", so we should look at it rationally and give appropriate support, popularize safety knowledge related to the sexual life of the elderly, and help the elderly better live their old age.
Resources:
[1] "The average life expectancy of Chinese is 77 years! Scientists have summarized 20 ways to extend life". 2019-07-30
[2] "What is the healthiest frequency of sexual activity?Harvard: 21 times a month", Biovalley, 2021-08-11
[3] "The Sexual Needs of the Neglected Elderly!They Also Have the Right to Pursue Sex and Love!", Health Times, 2020-08-24
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