Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
Sigmund Freud, the founder of the psychoanalytic school, proposed that human consciousness is divided into two parts:
One part is what we can perceive and understand, and the other part is the latent subconscious that we can't directly perceive.
He explains this theory through the metaphor of an iceberg, where,
The icebergs visible at sea level represent our perceptual consciousness, while the icebergs below the sea surface, much larger than those above the sea surface, represent the subconscious that is hidden deep in the heart.
These subconscious minds influence people's behavior and decision-making to a large extent.
People's casual words and actions are often a reflection of the subconscious. By observing these behaviors, we can make certain evaluations of an individual's personality traits.
For example, people who often say these 3 sentences, you should stay away, this kind of person is very sad and has negative energy:
1. "What should I do?"
This is often manifested as escapism and an unwillingness to face up to real problems.
When faced with stress, if a person shows an attitude of confusion or avoidance, this often reflects his or her subconscious state.
They may frequently mention and end their conversations with friends about their problems, hoping for solutions from others rather than taking action on their own.
This kind of rhetoric actually expresses a feeling of inferiority and negativity.
By asking others how they are coping in difficult situations, they are actually transferring their personal stress to others.
Instead of solving the problem, this is running away from it.
The pressure is shared with friends, one's own burden is reduced, and the problem solving and decision-making are all dependent on others, which is a manifestation of inferiority.
Such people often show a strong dependence when interacting with friends and close people, and their independence and autonomy are not at the level expected of adults, and they are unable to take real responsibility.
When it comes to getting along with friends, their negative emotions can also have a bad effect on them.
Friends may be already in a difficult situation, and they may have to worry about your problems, and the behavior of asking others for help prevents them from truly growing.
For friends, they are just a container for negative emotions, and in the long run, friends will also feel exhausted.
Escaping from reality is never the solution, it is always a palliative solution.
When you meet someone who often asks you "what should I do", you may want to patiently guide them to understand that they need to rely on themselves and not others to solve the problem.
If they don't want to take advice, it's best to keep their distance and give themselves some breathing space for their own health.
2. "It's me too...", "If I..."
Constant self-reflection and regret.
Psychologist Carl Jung divided people into introverts and extroversions based on their response to external stimuli.
Introverts tend to place blame on themselves when they are hit by the outside world, while extroverts may project blame on others.
Around us, there are always people who tend to blame themselves for the root of the problem when they encounter setbacks or fail to achieve the desired results, often engaging in excessive self-reflection.
Self-reflection is often accompanied by many regrets, and such people often express after problems arise:
"If I had done it differently, it would have been better, and it was all my fault. ”
They tend to be too themselves, which leads to a variety of psychological distress.
If these psychological problems are not resolved in time, they will have a profound negative impact not only on others but also on oneself.
Excessive feelings of guilt often do not lead to understanding from others, but can be counterproductive, because for others it is also a burden.
You are constantly passing on meaningless messages of self-consumption that have no emotional value to others.
In interpersonal communication, it is essentially a process of satisfying each other's needs and exchanging, and if these needs cannot be met, then it is difficult for the relationship to remain stable.
Dealing with people who often feel guilty requires constant attention to their emotional reactions, as they tend to be overly sensitive and have low self-esteem, and even small things can be infinitely magnified by them.
It is often exhausting to get along with such people because they are full of negative energy and are unable to bring any light to their already repressed lives.
People who do not have a very strong mental capacity should stay away from such people, otherwise you may be affected by them unconsciously.
3. "It's all because of so-and-so that I'm so unlucky"
Such people often complain and deny reality.
This type of person is extremely common in life, similar to the villain character in a TV series, who fails to do so despite careful planning, and when the protagonist reveals why he became a villain, the villain will often blame everything for what the protagonist did.
This pattern is common in TV dramas and stems from the artistic expression of life.
Many people like to blame external factors for life's blows, in contrast to the excessive introspection mentioned earlier.
They blame others for life's setbacks, not themselves.
In daily life, in addition to basic eating and sleeping, they spend most of their time complaining.
People who only understand external attribution will never be able to get out of the predicament, because they always look at the problem one-sidedly and naturally cannot find the right solution.
With such people, even if you have more positive energy, it will be consumed, because they complain not only about society, but also about others, and you will probably have to listen to them whining most of the time.
They will say:
"If my family was very good, my life would not be so bad", "I blame others for doing this, I will be so unlucky".
In short, mistakes are always external and never their fault.
This kind of complaining can't change anything, but they seem to enjoy it, as if this is the only way to prove their presence. Essentially, they are afraid to find reasons within themselves, which is actually out of low self-esteem.
Due to low self-esteem, they dare not change the status quo, and complaining also fills them with negative energy, which has a negative impact on their work and life.
The wrong way to attribute can get them into trouble.
However, the most unbearable thing about such people is that they can influence your judgment.
When you are facing difficulties, they will help you analyze the problem and blame others for the misfortune you encountered.
For a short time, you may feel that they understand you very well and are your confidants, but this way of thinking that lacks the concept of right and wrong will not help you really solve the problem, but will make your resentment deeper and deeper, and it is a rational choice to stay away from these people.
-The End -
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Keywords in this article: personal psychology, psychology
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