Endless vicissitudes and loneliness
In the early afternoon, the three o'clock sun shines through the mottled shutters and spills into the old apartment, casting a strange light and shadow in the living room. The only sound that can be heard in this quiet space is the recurring soap opera on television – an increasingly repetitive plot that has become the only dynamic in her life.
Liu Xuehua, who was sitting on the sofa, had already entered the age of sixties, and the traces of the years were clearly visible. She stared blankly at the TV screen, occasionally blinking her eyes, hazy with the passage of time.
That's the decade she's spent alone: she closes herself in this tiny room and spends every inch of her time, except for the necessary work.
The only two employees in the family are a nanny and a driver, as well as two dogs, Didi and Vivian, who have been with her for more than a decade. The nanny is responsible for household chores and walking the dog, because Liu Xuehua suffers from severe road dementia, and if she is not careful, she may lose her way in the alley and cannot find her way home.
If she needs to go out for work, she has to rely on a driver to drive her around. This former "queen mother professional household", but now her life is so isolated from the world and out of touch with modern society.
She was once known as the "Queen of Tearful Eyes", but now she suffers from social phobia, often feeling uncomfortable and at a loss when facing strangers.
Once, the variety show team sincerely invited her to attend as a guest, but she subconsciously shook her head and declined. However, when she recalled her refusal, a deep sense of apology and unease welled up in her heart, so much so that she gradually became emotional, and finally broke down in tears.
This inner contradiction and struggle brought her to the brink of collapse.
Although today's life seems to be comfortable, who knows that this once smash hit actress has gradually become estranged from today's society with the passage of time. She no longer goes out, no longer participates in social activities, and is unable to master even the most basic technological gadgets, as if isolating herself from the world has become a way to protect herself.
The eternal tear-eyed queen
In the entertainment industry, many veteran actors have been forgotten by the new generation of stars. Just two years ago, when Liu Xuehua participated in a variety show, when those young guests saw her, they just felt familiar, but they couldn't say her name accurately.
In fact, as early as decades ago, Liu Xuehua has become a household name among the ranks of popular stars, attracting many movie-loving fans to fall in love with him. She was born with a bright and handsome face, coupled with her clever and cheerful personality traits, she is really an excellent candidate to play the role of those independent and stubborn heroines in martial arts dramas.
In 1980, she successfully portrayed the role of Huang Rong in the classic martial arts masterpiece "The Legend of the Condor Heroes", and launched a wonderful rivalry with Leslie Cheung. Her movements are simple and bright, her eyes are full of agility, and her lively and cute girl image is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people and unforgettable.
Since then, she has continued to work the road of "chivalrous girl", and in 1989, she became famous with "The Girl Cixi" and was promoted to a hot popular actress, which was warmly sought after by the majority of audiences in Southeast Asia.
After moving to Taiwan, she met the well-known romance novel writer Qiong Yao, and they admired each other for the first time and quickly established a deep friendship. Despite the 20-year age difference, this mentor-apprentice bond did not hinder the joyful exchange between them.
Under Qiong Yao's careful guidance, Liu Xuehua's previous image of a chivalrous woman with a slightly "tomboy" temperament gradually changed, and she began to get involved in a series of romance dramas adapted by Qiong Yao. Whenever the plot develops to tears, she can always move the audience with her touching tears and win the reputation of "Queen of Tears", which can be called a perfect interpretation of the "crying beauty" standard in Qiong Yao's heart.
The TV series "Deep Courtyard", adapted from Qiong Yao's novel, recorded an astonishing rating of nearly 60% that year, and this work also helped Liu Xuehua win the Golden Lion Award for Best Actress in France.
As we all know, Qiong Yao's criteria for selecting the heroine are extremely strict, and one of the hard rules is that the heroine's crying must be beautiful and moving. Huang Yi, who once won the title of actress, once asked Qiong Yao for advice, what kind of crying can be called beautiful? Qiong Yao gave an incisive answer to this: "If you cry too hard, it will look pretentious, and if you cry too hard, it will seem barely perfunctory."
Only when the sorrow is poignant, the pity is pitiful, the tears slide down the cheeks, leaving the soft tear stains, and the melancholy expression, can really touch people's hearts.
This description undoubtedly accurately depicts Liu Xuehua's crying scene, every drop of her tears is heart-wrenching, and she has won the reputation of "Queen of Tears", which is undoubtedly a perfect interpretation of the "crying beauty" standard admired by Qiong Yao.
Ms. Liu Xuehua, a film superstar who was once popular with half the sky, has twists and turns in her emotional life, like a traditional romance drama full of tears and tears.
When she was 31 years old, she finally met the man she was destined to be - Mr. Liu Dekai, a well-known actor who was a few years older than her. The two met and knew each other because they co-starred in a TV series, and Liu Dekai cared for her on and off the set, and his elegant and charming gentlemanly demeanor made Liu Xuehua deeply intoxicated by this fiery love.
Her love was so strong that she did not hesitate to spend up to 30 million yuan to start a company for him. In public, the two are always holding hands, which is extremely sweet, so they are known as the "golden boy and girl" excellent combination.
However, this news was like a bolt from the blue for Liu Xuehua, which completely knocked her to the bottom. She was in agony, almost on the verge of collapse, and she could never have imagined that she would be mistaken for a third party who destroyed other people's families, and was deceived of all her feelings.
The cruel reality is that just when Liu Dekai promised her that he would divorce his wife as soon as possible, he fell in love with a French woman who was more than 20 years younger than him in a foreign country and quickly started a romantic relationship.
Liu Dekai's betrayal brought an unprecedented blow to Liu Xuehua. At that time, she was pregnant with a child, and coupled with all kinds of discomfort during pregnancy, she accidentally slipped in the bathroom, which eventually led to a miscarriage.
This miscarriage became a pain in her heart that can never be erased, and she has since lost the possibility of becoming a mother.
After going through countless hardships, Liu Xuehua finally regained her strength, and she met Mr. Deng Yukun, a screenwriter who treated her sincerely. Although the age gap between the two is more than ten years, this did not stop the spark of love between them, and they quickly entered the palace of marriage.
However, happy times are always short-lived, and only three years later, Deng Yukun died unexpectedly. Early that morning, Deng Yukun mysteriously disappeared, and when Liu Xuehua found him, he had already passed away.
The police investigation revealed that Deng Yukun did not die of murder, but the exact cause of death remains a mystery.
This is undoubtedly another major blow in Liu Xuehua's life, first she was mistaken for a third party, experienced the pain of miscarriage, and now even her beloved husband died suddenly.
Fate always seems to have ruthlessly pushed her into the abyss again and again, and her love life can be described as scarred, almost to the point of notoriety. It is no wonder that in the long years after this, Liu Xuehua chose to close himself at home and face his inner trauma alone.
So far, when we talk about the old past of Liu Dekai and his past love history, Liu Xuehua has never revealed half a sentence, as if acquiescing to the four heavy words "no comment" as the end footnote of this matter.
She seemed to bury that painful memory deep in her heart, and showed extraordinary calmness and indifference to it. In fact, it is not difficult to understand that Liu Dekai brought her not only an emotional blow, but also a devastating blow to her physical and mental health.
Back in that era, Liu Xuehua, who was pregnant with Liujia, accidentally slipped in the bathroom due to irritability, which eventually led to a miscarriage, and since then she has lost the opportunity to become a mother forever. This undoubtedly intensified her hatred for Liu Dekai, and at the same time made the wounds in her heart almost impossible to heal.
However, as time went on, Liu Xuehua gradually learned to let go. She had to face such a cruel reality: Liu Dekai was the only unforgettable lover in her life, and there were countless emotional entanglements between them.
Now, this knot of grievances and hatred can no longer be untied, and can only be permanently sealed and disappear without a trace.
Time flies, and she has long since forgotten about the past. Although the years have left a deep imprint on the corners of her eyes and eyebrows, her heart is still vibrant, sensitive and determined.
She chooses to live her life in her own unique way, keeping up with the times at her own pace, even if she seems out of place with the outside world.
A besieged city, a world
After Deng Yukun's death, Liu Xuehua began her new life model - completely closed herself. Aside from reluctantly accepting some necessary work, she almost closed herself in a cramped apartment, no longer stepping out of the house, and cut off all contact with the outside world.
This apartment, nestled in an old neighborhood, became her whole world. There is only a nanny and a driver in the family, and two dogs, Didi and Vivian, who have been with her for more than a dozen years.
The nanny is responsible for housekeeping and walking the dog every day, because Liu Xuehua suffers from severe road dementia, and if she is not careful, she may lose her way in the alley and find it difficult to find her way home.
If she really needs to go out for work, she can only ask the driver to drive her there.
As she grew older, her skills in using smartphones became so backward that she couldn't even master the basics of sending WeChat, and the range hood in modern kitchen appliances was a distant piece of technology.
Her tablet, which is only used to play simple mahjong games, consumes precious time day in and day out.
It is no exaggeration to say that her lifestyle has been completely out of touch with the rhythm of contemporary society. To fill this loneliness, she always keeps the TVs in the living room and bedroom on, even the most boring news commercials, as long as the sound is enough.
Whenever the sound of the TV suddenly stops, even the pet dog in the house will immediately become alert, as if it has long since adapted to this "popular" living environment.
Except for some performance invitations that he had to accept, Liu Xuehua would hardly take the initiative to step out of the house. That's how her daily life is spent aimlessly, either feeding the puppies, or playing a few games of mahjong, and occasionally chatting with her sister on the phone.
Most of the time she spends alone in front of the TV screen.
Once, the variety show team specially visited her, hoping to invite her to participate in the show, but Liu Xuehua subconsciously refused. However, when she calmed down and thought about it, she couldn't help but feel guilty, and even shed tears in pain.
This conflicting struggle in her heart undoubtedly reveals that her social phobia has reached a very serious level.
Looking back on her glorious years, it is difficult for people to imagine how hot and well-known this "Queen Mother Professional Household" was when she was young. Now, like an isolated castle, she wraps herself tightly in a small world, neither willing nor willing to touch the outside world.