I saw such a sentence on the Internet: the simpler the material desire, the richer the spirit.
This sentence seems a bit out of place and some Ah Q spirit in the contemporary era of rolling up, but thinking about it is the truth of the road to simplicity.
Think about it, if a person has too high desires in his heart, even if he has one thing and then wants another, and so on, he only stares at what he doesn't get, and turns a blind eye to what he already has.
As a result, I will always be very anxious in my heart, feeling that I am not good enough, and naturally I will not have the courage and motivation to move forward.
Once the valve of desire is opened, it will continue to expand, which is harmful and unhelpful.
These feelings are not some so-called "chicken soup", but the feelings I have felt after experiencing various ups and downs with my children this year.
When my child was in the first year of junior high school, my requirements and desires were not so high, I just hoped that my child could be admitted to a high school, and the grades would not be counted down.
But as the child's grades are getting better and better, my requirements are getting higher and higher, although I am very pleased to see the child's progress at the same speed, but I have always asked the child to pursue the ultimate, to have the idea of rushing to the first grade.
The expansion of desire will make me extremely emotionally unstable, and I will be very anxious once I see a slight regression in my grades, and such thoughts will also have a great impact on my children subtly.
When he progresses, he will be very happy to show off to me, and when he regresses, he will say that he is careless, and these questions will be foolish.
And I take it for granted that it was because of his carelessness and lack of reverence for learning that he did not do well in the exam. There was never any doubt about his abilities and his potential space.
Although, in life and companionship, I have done a meticulous job, but in terms of performance requirements, I continue to "raise all boats". I thought I was pushing my child's potential and helping him take another step forward.
As a result, the child's doubts and denials of his own cycle, and some of the self-confidence he had just cultivated was crushed by my one-way operation.
I didn't realize that the child said that there was no pressure, but there was pressure between the subconscious and the unconscious.
I always complain that the child is too Buddhist, obviously he has the strength to do better, why is he always so unenterprising.
Without realizing it, the child may be unable to do so and choose to escape. It wasn't until my child had an emotional breakdown for half a year that I realized I was wrong.
Although I adjusted my emotions in time, the impact on the child had already taken its toll, especially the habitual self-doubt that had been ingrained in my heart.
Children are always worried too much, worried that they will disappoint the teacher if they don't do well, and worry that they will feel ashamed if they can't do it.
It is easy to fall into confusion and fear, think too much before and after, worry too much, it is easy to be entangled, and it is easy to be distracted and absent-minded, and those things that want to be done and should be done are also delayed under worry.
Worrying sometimes, instead of getting better, will only make you more timid.
Until I realized that the simpler my thoughts, the richer my heart became, and the more streamlined my actions were.
Begin to consciously help children to clear the chaotic inner order, and need to open, accept, and rebuild the inner order.
What I want to tell my children is: when they are entangled in trouble, they are only embarrassed by themselves, they think too much, and they are tired of their hearts.
Stable emotions and a stable state of mind are too important, the purer the heart, the more efficient they will be in doing things.
Yesterday, when the child was chatting with me, he said that every word the head teacher said during the class meeting seemed to be talking about himself, and he felt that his inner thoughts were seen through by the teacher.
This is a kind of teacher's understanding of students, and it is also the empathy between teachers and students. With such a good teacher, I don't have to worry about my children in terms of moral education, learning, and state guidance at school.
What I want to do is to rebuild my child's psyche and confidence.
Faith is a very abstract thing, but there is a way to follow, and it can be approached step by step through micro-exercises.
Of course, rebuilding confidence is not that easy, and it is also necessary to achieve a balance between mindfulness and negative emotions, and at the same time put into exercise or writing to heal the inner insecurity.
Lack of faith may not have that much impact in good times, but it can destroy a person's mind in bad times. The more cluttered things in your heart, the easier it is to get physically and mentally exhausted.
This is also what I need to continue to help my child practice and discover his excellence in the next year, and he still has the final say on learning.
I only focus on his mentality, state and confidence rebuilding, and leave the rest to the child's own decision.
The mistakes you made will never be repeated. This is also a kind of correction and reboot of past mistakes.
In the past, there was no choice, but now it can continue, the simpler and purer it is, the more vibrant it is.
Now, I don't want my children to compare themselves to anyone, I just keep an eye on my own process and pay attention to the details of my first steps. As long as the mind does not slip, there are always more ways than difficulties.
Take out the mentality of the countdown of the seventh grade, climb steadily, and enjoy the moment when there is a little progress, and enjoy the moment when there is a little improvement. Rather than feeling worthless every time you make progress, you deny yourself deeply.
Appreciate every micro-improvement of yourself, but also the progress of your opponents.
Of course, there is still a benchmark, but it is limited to the extent of seeing yourself, helping to see what aspects of yourself can be improved, so that you can know what you can do and move forward freely.
I've never admired a child as much as I do now, that he does everything right, that he has his own reasons, and that whatever he chooses, it's cool.
I have self-confidence, and I will become confident with my children, and I will not be too ambitious, but lean down to do every step in front of me first, and solve every problem I find, which is good enough.