#跨国婚恋##迪拜生活##远嫁荷兰##人物故事##国外打拼#
This is the 3,703rd real story we have told
My name is Xiao Yu, I am 43 years old, my ancestral home is Chongqing, and I have been in Dubai for 12 years. But my in-laws' family is not in Dubai, but in an economically developed but densely populated European country – the Netherlands.
12 years ago, I came to Dubai on a whim after repeatedly hitting a wall in the domestic blind date market, planning to find a partner while working here. Later, I was introduced to a Dutchman who was seven years older than me, who was a pilot. After two years of love, I was impressed by his personality charm, and I entered the palace of marriage with him.
After marriage, he doted on me like a treasure, and he still loved me when I didn't have children. We've traveled a lot of countries together and enjoyed a comfortable life. We lived happily and lovingly for more than 8 years, but when the epidemic hit, he was laid off. Without a work visa, we can't stay in Dubai. I wanted to go back to the Netherlands, but I couldn't enter because I was a foreigner.
In desperation, we had no choice but to temporarily drift to Germany. However, it is not easy to find a job during the mask period. I began to feel anxious and depressed: Do you just sit back and eat nothing?
(My husband and I were traveling in Switzerland)
43 years ago, I was born in a very ordinary family in a town in Chongqing, with three sisters, my father raised me as a boy since I was a child, so I developed a serious, optimistic and positive personality, and like to challenge.
When I grew up, I first worked in a furniture company in Guangdong. Because I needed to do some foreign trade work, I later found a private English teacher to study, which laid the foundation for me to go abroad later.
In my twenties, I went on many blind dates, but they didn't work out. One is that I am very busy with work, and I don't have time to interact too much with my blind date, so I gradually stop it. The second is that there is really no suitable one, not that I am arrogant and too picky, but it is not easy to find the same frequency and the three views that are more compatible.
The boys I admire are honest and self-motivated, and just like that, after many years, I still haven't met the right person.
(at the Malaysia Furniture Fair before going to Dubai)
In 2012, at the age of 31, I had become an older leftover girl. My family started to worry about me, and they were always nagging in my ear. Then one day, on a whim, I wanted to go abroad to work while looking for someone who was destined. At that time, I also set a time for myself, just three months, whether it was introduced by a friend or accosted by someone.
It just so happened that I had a relative in Dubai, and when he got married, I came to Dubai. After the wedding banquet, I asked him about working in Dubai. I then returned to my home country to apply for a visa and came to Dubai again in September 2012 to work in a mall selling skincare, cosmetics and fragrances.
Although I used to have some basic English, I had a hard time working when I first came to Dubai. I couldn't get the job done if I couldn't communicate with the customer, so I studied English hard in my spare time and practiced actively at work. Gradually, my work became smoother and smoother.
And I find it very comfortable to socialize in Dubai, where no one comes to gossip about your private life, everyone spends AA system, respects each other, and pays attention to proportion. So I changed my mind about coming to Dubai to find a partner, and I felt that it would be good to work here.
(Take foreign tourists while doing a tour guide in Dubai)
There is a saying: people go to high places, and water flows to low places. I was self-motivated, and I was unwilling to be a salesman all the time, so I went to take the English tour guide certificate and began to lead a group as a tour guide. While working, I have not forgotten the purpose of my original visit to Dubai. I shared my personal information with all my friends and relatives, and they all knew that I was single and wanted to find a reliable boyfriend.
Later, a friend of my relatives introduced me to a Dutch pilot. This Dutch man's name is Anthony, and he came to Dubai around the same time as me. He was 7 years older than me and unmarried. When we first met, I had a flat feeling about him. As I met more often, I gradually realized that there were many good qualities in him that I admired.
Anthony is conscientious, honest and trustworthy. For example, when it is time for a date, he will definitely arrive on time when he says that the time is up. No late, no no-show.
He is also very honest in conversation, and he will not brag and show off, nor will he avoid the important and dodge. Although he is not the kind of handsome guy who makes girls flutter at a glance, his character is exactly the same as my ideal. I feel very grounded and secure with him.
(Windmills in Kinderdijk, Netherlands)
In our relationship, we only talked about our respective jobs, ages, and hobbies, and we didn't get to the bottom of our pasts. He wouldn't ask me why I was so old and unmarried, and I wouldn't ask him how many girly friends he had before. We prefer to talk about the anecdotes of our respective jobs and what our ideal marriage looks like.
Through many interactions, I felt that he not only had a good character, but also fit well with my three views, so I confirmed a relationship with him.
After we fell in love, we traveled to many places, and he would cook Thai food for me. I didn't expect a big man to cook so well, which greatly boosted my good opinion of him.
Moreover, he has an optimistic and sunny personality, always thinks positively when he encounters troubles, and calmly handles setbacks. will not complain as soon as some men are in trouble, and they will not be passive and backward, completely rotten. Seeing that his character and personality are so good, I think he is the best choice as a life partner.
Later, I told my family that I had found a foreign boyfriend, and my dad didn't mind. My husband's parents have no opinion, because in foreign countries, after the child becomes an adult, the adult basically does not interfere too much in the child's life, and even if he gets married, he will respect the child's choice.
(Our Wedding Photos)
We fell in love for a while, registered our marriage in Hong Kong in 2014, and then held a wedding in Guangdong. In fact, at the beginning, we were going to hold the wedding in Dubai, mainly because of the age of both parents, but at that time, my parents-in-law, who were in their 70s, knew that I wanted to do it in China, so they decided to take a plane to China for more than ten hours. I'm quite impressed.
We had a Chinese wedding, but I didn't talk to my husband about the bride price. In their country, there is no such thing as a bride price.
We were still working in Dubai after we got married, and we didn't have an AA system, so he told me at the beginning, "You can spend whatever you want." The money I earn is used to support you and the whole family. Even if you don't want to work anymore, don't worry, I will support you for the rest of your life. ”
(At Chinese Wedding)
Moreover, it was by no means a casual remark from him, and for some reason I didn't go to work for several years, and he still did his best to give us the ideal life. In our spare time, we travel together, and many countries have left our footprints of love.
And his love for me has not diminished over time. We have been in love for so many years now, and we basically don't quarrel. Marrying such a reliable husband with such a good personality, I feel like I have picked up a treasure.
My husband is very practical, and the only small drawback is that he is not romantic enough. But when I showed a hint of disappointment and displeasure in my words, he was slowly changing, and later on some special days such as holidays, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc., he would prepare surprises for me in advance. For example, sending flowers and making love cakes.
I also have shortcomings and like to mess things around. He was never silent, he didn't complain about me, he didn't accuse me. He would help clean up, and after seeing him put things in order for me, I naturally felt embarrassed, and gradually got rid of the bad habit of throwing things around.
(We are in front of Burj Khalifa)
I think the most taboo thing between husband and wife is chattering and complaining, which can turn a small friction the size of a sesame seed into a dynamite bag that is about to explode. Rational communication and generous tolerance can make the two never get tired of getting along for a long time and stay close for a long time.
My parents-in-law are also very nice and treat me like a daughter. I was very relaxed with my mother-in-law, and I often hugged her as if she were my own mother. When we go back to the Netherlands, we often cook food together, talk and get along very well.
From some small things, it can be seen that my in-laws attach great importance to me. For example, after they found out about my birthday, I was very touched by my father-in-law's behavior.
We Chinese celebrate birthdays according to the lunar calendar, but the Dutch calendar only has the solar calendar, not the lunar calendar. In order to remember my birthday, my father-in-law kept a diary of my lunar life for the next ten years in a small notebook. Every year on my birthday, they send gifts and blessings.
(with mother-in-law in front of Burj Al Arab in Dubai)
But the ten years since I got married have not always been smooth. During the epidemic, international airlines were also affected, and my husband was laid off. We could not continue to stay in Dubai because we did not have a work visa. But you can't go back to the Netherlands directly, you have to live in a European country for several months before you can go back.
At that time, we went to Germany, because of the epidemic, we couldn't find a job, we had no income, and we kept eating our old money. For a whole year, we lived almost every day in a boring life.
Although I have "fallen" from an international airline pilot to a jobless vagrant, my husband has never complained, but is optimistic and enlightens me: "We have retired in Germany this year." ”
My husband's positive and optimistic attitude is really inspiring, and under his infection, I have not been depressed all the time. In order to find a job, my husband began to study analyst. For him, no matter what happens, he can't be depressed and decadent. Only by believing in the endless road and facing it positively will we see the light of day again.
(I have a good relationship with my in-laws)
I haven't had any children in these years, but my husband doesn't mind. He feels that the meaning of marriage is not just to pass on the family lineage, but to spend the rest of their lives with the people they love.
Now he has been hired by the previous airline to work back in Dubai, and we travel together whenever we have time, and when we retire in a few years, we will go to more places in the world. We both feel that life is to live in the moment, not to work hard but to be a miser.
There is nothing more beautiful in the world than having a good and happy time with the people you love. When we are old, those bits and pieces of travel will become the most romantic and soothing memories for our hearts.
I also pay attention to my spiritual feeding and physical maintenance, I will read, exercise, and do what I like every day, so that I can maintain a happy mood and a healthy body. Radiant every day!
(My husband learns to make dumplings with me)
Although I didn't get married until I was 33, I felt the right time. Whether you get married sooner or later, the key is to marry the right person. As the English writer William Shakespeare said: "An unsatisfactory marriage is like a hell, a lifetime of fighting and not being able to live in peace, on the contrary, choosing a satisfactory spouse can lead to a hundred years of harmony and endless happiness." ”
Nowadays, too many young people are afraid of marriage, and even choose not to marry, because the reality makes them no longer believe in love. I want to encourage those who don't want to get married and not be influenced by those negative reports and videos. It is necessary to believe that there are many true love couples whether they are at home or abroad.
As long as you treat your lover with respect, trust, and understanding, and are willing to give, instead of blindly taking, I believe he will return the same love to you.
It's the same with my in-laws. As the saying goes, those who love love to return. People's hearts are all flesh and blood, and true feelings are exchanged. Believe that giving is happier than receiving, and that you will receive more.
(Welcome to the protagonist "Xiao Yu in Dubai")
[Dictation: Koba]
[Editor: Chen Ping]
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(*This article is based on the oral statements of the parties, and the authenticity is the responsibility of the oral narrator.) Friendly reminder from this account: Please identify the relevant risks by yourself, and do not blindly follow the trend to make impulsive decisions. ）