Although the rain is wide, it does not moisten the grass without roots.
Author: Nightly yebo
Cui Zheng, a workplace consultant, once shared a story in his speech.
Cui Zheng has a distant cousin, who has been lazy since he was a child, does not learn and has no skills, and has achieved nothing in his 30s.
Seeing that his cousin was having an embarrassing life, Cui Zheng wanted to pull him.
He first lent his cousin 100,000 yuan, and then used his connections to introduce his cousin as a partner to a few entrepreneurial friends.
I thought I could make my cousin turn over and make a career.
Unexpectedly, my cousin's inferior nature did not change, and after that, he not only ate, drank and had fun all day long, but also became addicted to gambling, and even embezzled company funds without permission.
In the end, my cousin was kicked out of the team, and the money was squandered, not to mention, and he was in debt.
And Cui Zheng was also blocked by those friends because of this.
After telling the story, Cui Zheng said with emotion: The biggest pit in the world is to blindly save others.
If you force a person to get up when he is lying on the ground, he will not only end up in vain, but will be dragged down by him.
Because you can't wake up a numb heart, and you can't save a person who doesn't want to be motivated.
Worrying and helping out indiscriminately can only lead to endless trouble.
The greatest sobriety of adults is not to intervene in the cause and effect of others, and not to try to hold up the mud against the wall.
1
Writer Xu Ke said: Excessive interference in other people's lives and bent on changing the lives of others will only find guilt for themselves.
In reality, there are many people who can't help but want to pull him back on the right track, or want to help him, when they see someone around them who is on the wrong path, or who never succeeds.
But forget that those who are unwilling to work hard and are willing to put on a bad role are incorrigible.
If you force this mud against the wall, you will not only be thankless, but you will also make yourself dirty.
Pinker, a media person, told such a story.
Many years ago, when he was the head of a real estate company, he recruited a fresh graduate, Xiao Li.
Xiao Li usually has a lazy personality, and he is always very coping with his work, and his quarterly assessment is usually countdown, and he is about to be persuaded to retire by the company.
As his immediate boss, Pinker was anxious in his eyes.
In order to keep Xiao Li from being eliminated and make achievements, Pinker spent a lot of time and thought.
Seeing that Xiao Li was always doing some chores, Pinker repeatedly reminded him to study more excellent cases in the industry so that he could quickly improve himself.
Xiao Li said perfunctorily every time: I don't have enough experience now, and it's not too late to do this in the future.
Later, Pinker transferred him to his side and took him to meet with customers and connect him with partners.
I thought that through these opportunities, I could better exercise Xiao Li's business ability.
As a result, Xiao Li still had a loose attitude and complained that he was doing too much work.
After a period of time, Xiao Li not only did not make achievements, but caused many customer complaints due to work mistakes.
Pinker, who was caught in the middle, was tortured to the point of pain, so he had to transfer Xiao Li away in disappointment.
At the end of the year, Xiao Li, who was at the bottom of the assessment, was still laid off.
And Xiao Li, instead of thanking him for his efforts, kept saying bad things about him behind his back, complaining that he asked too much and was too wronged to do this job.
Schopenhauer said that it is easy to hurt others, but it is very difficult to change others, even if they are not hindered.
Rotten wood is rotting in the soil, and you have to pick it up and carve it into wood, which is a pure waste of energy;
The salted fish was originally lying well, and if you have to turn it over, you can only make your hands smell fishy.
As the saying goes: Although the Dharma is great, it does not save people who have no cause, and although the rain is wide, it does not moisten the grass without roots.
You will never be able to pull up a person who is determined to lie down, and you will not be able to turn back a person who decides to go one way to the dark.
At any time, stop calling him if he can't wake up, and don't care about him if he can't be saved.
It is wisest to let go of your messianic mentality and not worry about the fate of others.
2
After the success of the Taiwanese writer Jin Weichun when he founded Business Week, he was particularly keen to help others for a while.
When a friend was having a bad time, he took the initiative to come to the door and contribute money and effort for them.
But soon he realized that he was doing useless work.
Those who lack ability and don't want to work hard, what they were and what they are now, has not changed at all.
And himself, not only did not fall any better, but was also tossed physically and mentally exhausted.
After that, he put away his desire to save others and no longer worry about others, which made life easier.
As he said: I am an ordinary man, and if I take care of myself, I will have great merit.
In reality, what we should really do is to take care of our own fate and not be contaminated with other people's cause and effect.
For those who are hopeless, instead of incurring disaster on themselves by rescuing him, it is better to withdraw as soon as possible and stay away in time.
Writer Aoki told the story of a friend.
After graduating, my friend found a job in operation management in a private company, mainly responsible for some basic things.
Every day when he gets off work, as soon as he gets home, he stays at home to watch dramas and play games.
A few years have passed, and other colleagues have been promoted and raised, but he is the only one who still stays where he is, receiving a basic salary.
Aoki advised him to recharge his batteries while he was young, learn more skills, and find other opportunities.
But my friend couldn't listen to it, and he always said: That's how my ability is.
Later, Aoki couldn't stand it anymore, so he paid for a skill training course for a friend.
As a result, when my friend learned about it, not only did he not appreciate it, but scolded angrily: Who do you think you are, why do you care about my business?
Aoki was angry and annoyed, and after that he didn't care about his friends anymore.
A few years later, the company's performance was not good, friends were laid off, and they were rejected again and again to find a job, and finally they could only gnaw at home.
"The World Is Worth It" reads:
Don't try to change a person, not only will you not get the results you want, but you will also put yourself in pain and can't extricate yourself.
Don't try to wake up a sleeping person, not only will you not wake him up, but he will also feel that you disturb his dreams and hold a grudge against you.
In this world, each person's own cause and effect can only be borne by himself.
Never deprive others of the pain that fate inflicts on them, and let them experience it for themselves, which is a sign of respect for others and a responsibility for oneself.
3
Zhang Ailing told a story in "The Road That Must Be Taken".
When she was a child, she wanted to take a small road, but her mother stopped her, saying that it was a detour and could not be taken.
But she insisted on going, and her mother stopped stopping her, but told her that the road was difficult to walk, and she should be careful all the way.
When she hit the road, she found that her mother had not lied to her, and that she had broken her head and bled on the road.
Later, when talking about this matter, Zhang Ailing said that it is impossible for people to really grow up without breaking their own heads.
In reality, what can make people change and grow is never anyone's help, it can only be the south wall, the detour, and the heel.
Those who don't want to get better, you can't save them, you can only make them enlightened in pain.
I have a cousin who didn't finish high school and told his family that he didn't want to go to school.
He felt that studying was hard and a waste of time, and he might not be able to find a good job after graduation, so it was better to work early to earn money.
At that time, his parents tried hard to persuade him to finish his studies, but he was not moved at all.
Later, his relatives introduced him to work, but he couldn't do it for three days, so he quit.
The family saw that he was rotten to the bones, and in disappointment, they simply stopped caring about him.
After a few months, my cousin felt empty and decided to go to the big city to work hard.
He wanted to find an easy class, but because he didn't have enough education, he could only find some hard work to do.
In the following years, he worked as an assembly line worker, porter, customer service ...... Exhausted every day but unable to make money.
At this time, his cousin finally regretted it, and he returned to his hometown in a gloomy manner, and decided to change his mind and become a new person.
After returning home, he didn't need anyone's persuasion, he took the initiative to study on his own, and didn't go to bed until late at night every day.
Later, he was admitted to a technical school through hard work, and after graduation, he also found a good job with his excellent skills.
Writer Jiang Xun said:
People always have to go through something that makes them deeply disturbed, worthy of repentance, or regret, before they look back and think about what their choices were.
Only when a person has endured hardships and experienced beatings can he truly have an epiphany and change in deep pain.
Never interfere in other people's lives, let them face reality, experience what they should experience, and practice what they should practice.
What you have to do is to let go of the complex of helping others and respect the fate of others.
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I like a sentence in "Seeds":
Life is a tune, everyone has their own notes to play, you can't mix with other people's, but you can play your own part.
Everyone's life is a process of composing music.
We can only decide our own part, the tunes that belong to others, even if they are ugly, you don't care.
Never put mud on the wall, and don't meddle in other people's life issues.
Take care of yourself and don't cross others, so that you can reduce unnecessary troubles and losses for your own life.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.