Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
As the saying goes, "Men conquer women by conquering the world, while women conquer the world by conquering men." ”
Although this sentence is a bit absolute, it shows to a certain extent that in the relationship between men and women, women like to have a partner who can "get their hands on it".
As for men, most of them like smart, excellent, and sparkling women, because such women have a fatal attraction to them.
But many times, when a woman really likes a man, she often deliberately hides her edge because of her inferiority complex and the psychology of gains and losses.
They carefully put away their excellence, trying to gain the favor and love of men by pandering and being submissive. It's just that reality often goes against their wishes.
In fact, in the relationship between men and women, the more "utilitarian" a woman is, the more a man will love you.
01
"Utilitarian" women are more independent
Yishu once said: "No matter what you do, remember to do it for yourself, then there will be no complaints." ”
A "utilitarian" woman who always knows what she wants and will put all her effort into it.
They are financially independent, career-independent, and personality-independent, and in them, you can see a kind of self-confidence from the inside out, which is a charm that nothing can replace.
Luo Zijun in the TV series "The First Half of My Life", before the divorce, spent money like running water, only knew how to buy, buy, buy, and both businesses were not online, although she loved Chen Junsheng wholeheartedly, but Chen Junsheng still changed his mind.
After the divorce, Luo Zijun had to start looking for a job and support himself in order to fight for the custody of his son.
She continued to explore her infinite possibilities, overcoming obstacles along the way, not only finding her own value, but also winning the respect and love of others, including a very good man - He Han.
Although the ending of the TV series is open-ended, we can see that Zijun at this time, compared with the previous one who only knew how to be attached to men, she was more independent, more charming, and lived a more exciting life.
It's the same in real life, if a woman only thinks about relying on men for everything, then over time, men will think you're a burden.
But when you work hard to improve yourself and make yourself better and better, men will be afraid of you leaving him, so they will cherish you more.
02
A "utilitarian" woman has a higher emotional intelligence
Some people say that women with high emotional intelligence are the best, and this is not true at all.
A woman with high emotional intelligence can manage relationships with others properly and make everyone she gets along feel comfortable. In the relationship between a man and a woman, this is very, very attractive.
Zhen Huan in "The Legend of Zhen Huan" can be said to be a very "utilitarian" woman. She knows what she wants, and will use all the power she can to achieve her goals.
She has a high emotional intelligence, whether it is with the emperor or with the king of Guojun, she can advance and retreat in a certain degree and handle it just right.
Compared with Concubine Hua, who is pampered and arrogant, and An Lingrong, who blindly pretends to be weak, Zhen Huan's high emotional intelligence of knowing advance and retreat and understanding proportions is obviously better.
In life, those "utilitarian" women often have no low emotional intelligence, they know how to read words and feelings, can perceive people's hearts, know what to say and do on what occasions, so that people who get along with her feel very comfortable.
Such a woman is very popular with men in life and relationships.
03
A "utilitarian" woman knows how to love herself better
Oscar Wilde said, "Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." ”
A "utilitarian" woman is a woman who knows how to love herself. In their hearts, they are the most worthy of investment, and only by becoming better can they attract better people.
In "Thirty Only", Wang Manni is a typical "utilitarian" woman.
She has worked hard in Shanghai alone for eight years, and with her own efforts, she has achieved the position of sales supervisor from an ordinary salesperson.
She loves beauty, pays attention to the quality of life, in order to improve her taste and cultivation, she does not hesitate to spend a lot of money to buy brand-name clothes and shoes, and even swipe the card to sit in the executive cabin of the cruise ship to experience a different world.
Some people may say that she is too vain and materialistic.
However, from another point of view, everything she does is to make herself better and more competitive, so that she can have more choices and opportunities in her future life and work.
Such a woman knows how to love herself. They know that only by becoming better can they attract better people and deserve a better life.
The same is true in the relationship between men and women. When you are good enough, independent enough, and love yourself enough, then you will be like a magnet that attracts equally good men to you.
In short, "utilitarian" women, they know better how to manage themselves, how to make themselves more valuable, and how to dominate the relationship between men and women.
Therefore, the more "utilitarian" a woman is, the more men will regard you as a treasure and hold you in the palm of his hand. Because, in their eyes, you are not only a partner worthy of respect and love, but also a sparkling individual.