After watching the quarrel between Zhao Xiaotang and his mother, I realized how good Li Xiang's love is
watched a variety show and was speechless.
Zhao Xiaotang revealed her scars and recalled that when she was 14 years old, she was laughing with a group of girls backstage at the show, but she was the only one who was pointed at her nose and scolded by the dance teacher: Believe it or not, I changed you.
Wronged, Zhao Xiaotang cried and said that he didn't practice anymore, and immediately contacted his parents to try to get comfort and care.
Unexpectedly, there was no concern on the other end of the phone, and what was waiting for was a scolding, and there was not even the most basic inquiry about the cause and effect.
14 years old, in adolescence, an age that loves face and has strong self-esteem, on the one hand, he was scolded by the teacher in public, and on the other hand, his mother on the other end of the phone did not ask the reason.
For a time, the two sides were as if they were abandoned, and their self-esteem was broken.
Obviously, this incident has caused a great psychological shadow on her, so much so that she is now haunted by it, and she has stopped asking her parents for help for so many years, because it is useless to ask for help in her subconscious.
At the age of 27, she still burst into tears when she mentioned this incident, and she only hoped to get her mother's attention.
But the feedback given by my mother is the same as back then: I don't listen, I don't understand, and I will kill you.
Zhao Xiaotang's request for comfort, his mother thought it was unreasonable.
Zhao Xiaotang's collapse, my mother thinks it's a big fuss.
Zhao Xiaotang cried and said that when she was most sad, her mother did not stand firmly by her side, but trampled on her self-esteem over and over again.
But my mother began to stress: Then what do you want me to do? I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Xiaotang, I'm sorry for you!
Zhao Xiaotang once again emphasized that he was sad because he was wronged, and when his family did not stand firmly by his side, his mother collapsed first:
This set of "self-punishment three cups of introspection" is suffocating, completely unreasonable, and at the same time gives the other party another critical blow: What are you going to do, you are too much, I hate you!
Just a simple matter, although it can't go back to the past, Zhao Xiaotang still hopes that his mother can stand firmly on his side, even if it is a verbal deception.
But my mother was like a donkey, and after seeing that the other party was emotional, she felt that she couldn't hold her face, so she went crazy to suppress the other party, and at the same time felt that she was wronged.
For a while, Zhao Xiaotang was stunned, and even doubted whether he was really too much.
The people who want to be comforted have not been comforted, and they have fallen into deep internal friction, people with problems do not admit their mistakes, and they feel that they are wronged, and the relationship between Zhao Xiaotang's mother and daughter is really suffocating.
This quarrel also undoubtedly reflects the character of the mother and daughter.
Zhao Xiaotang is very arrogant on the surface, but in fact, his mind is delicate and sensitive, and his mother Ms. Yue is like an image, like a little princess who needs to be taken care of.
This also causes Zhao Xiaotang to often become the mother who takes care of people, and Ms. Yue is like a daughter who needs to provide her with emotional value.
Just like Zhao Xiaotang cut her hair short, Ms. Yue, who likes long hair, will be angry and cry, and finally Zhao Xiaotang apologizes to her.
I can't call the shots with my own hair, and such a suffocating desire to control is taken for granted by Ms. Yue: Because I am your mother.
Zhao Xiaotang's collapse was the accumulation of too many resentments, and Ms. Yue's self-righteousness was created by too many pets.
What's even more suffocating is that Ms. Yue's untimely seriousness is reflected in all aspects of life.
At the age of four, Zhao Xiaotang, who was in kindergarten, was sent to a dormitory and cried because she missed her mother, but Ms. Yue was quite impatient and thought that she did not know how to understand her parents: We don't want you to stay either, but we can't help it.
How can a four-year-old child understand this, she only feels that her parents don't want her anymore, so that she still has no sense of security when she sleeps alone, which causes her to be extremely sensitive.
When he was a little older, his mother forced Zhao Xiaotang to learn to dance, and every time he pressed his legs, he cried heartbreakingly, but his mother couldn't care at all, which once made Zhao Xiaotang suspect that he would not live to be eighteen years old.
During that time, Zhao Xiaotang, who was cornered, hated his mother the most, but Ms. Yue didn't think so.
Because she always believes that without her persistence, there would be no Zhao Xiaotang today.
From kindergarten accommodation to learning dance, every step is carried out according to her mother's will, and there is only obedience and little maternal love along the way, so that Zhao Xiaotang always feels that her mother does not love her.
The only time I felt loved was when I fell into the stinky ditch, my mother scolded her and was willing to bathe her, but Zhao Xiaotang thought: Such a clean person would actually bathe me, and he must love me very much.
It can be seen how much she usually lacks love.
In the show, Zhao Xiaotang revealed that he had suffered from bipolar disorder for two years, and he couldn't touch sharp things for two years, because there would be uncontrollable extreme practices.
She attributed the disease to "cyber violence", but in fact, it was inseparable from the harm caused by her original family.
Since childhood, I have not felt love, my heart is sensitive and insecure, the people closest to me after being subjected to online violence cannot ask for help, and I can't get rid of negative emotions, and over time depression becomes a disease.
Although the relationship with her mother has eased because of this illness, her mother is just afraid that something will happen to her, and she still doesn't understand her in her heart, otherwise she wouldn't quarrel on the phone, let alone refute Zhao Xiaotang everywhere when she revealed her heart.
Under the influence of her mother, Zhao Xiaotang has enough internal friction, and many things in her heart are not in the past, but forgotten, but unfortunately Ms. Yue doesn't understand.
When the show started, there was a hot search entry called "Zhao Xiaotang's mother looks at Zhao Xiaotang like Li Xiang looks at Wang Shiling", which means that Ms. Yue admires her daughter as much as Li Xiang.
can only say that Ms. Yue is really not as good as Li Xiang, and her kidnapping-style maternal love really can't be handled.
is also a daughter who was sued by a teacher at school, Li Xiang will apologize for killing Wang Shiling for not asking the cause and effect of the incident, and in front of the camera.
is also losing his temper in front of the camera, Li Xiang will softly and patiently comfort Wang Shiling to calm her down, instead of feeling that she can't get over her face and murder her, or threaten her.
is also attacked by the outside world, Li Xiang will not hesitate to stand on his daughter's side, and take the initiative to ask her opinion and help her out.
At the same time, Wang Yuelun will also respect Wang Shiling's wishes to go to a girls' school because she was ridiculed in school.
Even if he knew the child's shortcomings, Li Xiang made it clear that he would not say anything bad about her in public, and he wanted to give her face.
Respecting the child's wishes and protecting the child's self-esteem, Li Xiang's love is within reach.
On the other hand, Ms. Yue is more concerned about her own face and ignores the child's thoughts and self-esteem.
Just like dancing, Ms. Yue thinks that this hardship must be endured, so as to help the teacher treat the young Zhao Xiaotang strictly, thus ignoring her inner needs, even if it is a warm hug, a love sticker, and a graduation ceremony that is not absent.
But Li Xiang and Wang Yuelun chose to let their daughter study in an international school and go abroad to accompany her because their daughter stood in the sun on Children's Day, and the teacher stood in the shadow, taking care of her body and mind from a small detail.
Ms. Yue's love is more materialistic, while Li Xiang's love is two-way wealth of material and spiritual, so Wang Shiling is more sunny and confident, while Zhao Xiaotang is more sensitive.
This kind of love is not the accumulation of material things, but the attention to the child itself, so that the child feels love, respect, and feels that his parents will always be his backing, not an eternal backstab.
A child's face is also a face, and a child's thoughts are also ideas, and a child's self-esteem needs special maintenance, because it will affect a lifetime.
Ms. Yue will always be proud of her strictness to Zhao Xiaotang, in fact, what hurts Zhao Xiaotang the most is her untimely strictness, and her unrepentant and unyielding stubbornness.
In the show, Tao Xinran's mother's love can't be handled, and the beating and scolding education is suffocating, but when her daughter needs her, she will not hesitate to rush forward to protect her daughter, and this kind of love that puts aside everything makes her daughter feel safe.
When people reach old age, Tao's mother, who is strong all her life, becomes softer and softer, learns to apologize, learns to express love, and learns to learn from each other's strengths.
Ms. Keyue, I can't learn.
The shadow of childhood is the dampness of a lifetime.
Under the strict education of her mother, Zhao Xiaotang became twisted and internal, she wanted to get rid of the shackles of Chinese-style maternal love, but she couldn't let go of her inner sense of family affection and morality.
So she envied Wang Luodan for being shrouded in the shadow of her mother of the "drama spirit", she still doesn't care about the world, she still has the courage to do her best, and she still has the spirit of pleasing herself.
Not being bound by the so-called emotions, and completely following the richness of the inner spiritual world, this is what Wang Luodan and Zhao Xiaotang hope to live in.
Because of her repression, she was even more envious of the Ouyang family's encouraging education, Fu Juan's transparency, and her understanding of her daughters.
The same is maternal love, some love is freedom, and some love is suffocation.
How many people's hearts have been hurt by a sentence of "I am your mother", and how many people's hearts have been redeemed by a sentence of "there is a mother", those loves that can be taken are true love.